Single and in debt.

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello all

am marking books and not here AT ALL. nope not here.

Just had to say, Bathgate I am with you on the its not going to happen to me and altohugh it makes me sad sometimes it is actually mostly ok view. I have lots of plans, first off debt free, second own house whilst holidaying in various beautiful places. I have a job I believe in and think is worthwhile (even tho the place I work at is a nightmare) If I want children there are ways, adoption etc, and I really think I am better off for the most part. I do think it is partly being realistic? I just honestly think most men I find attractive don't want long term relationships. I hoped I would change my tastes but I don't seem to!

Today I was watching home and away:o (I really fancy that Aidan ) and thought it would be nice to have someone, I can't remember the last time I was kissed for example.

But those feelings don't come up so much these days.

anyhow back to the books, unless another thread catches my eye!

PinkTwirl

It actually severely depresses me that I will be single forever. I can't sleep at night and I wake up during the night depressed and think about it when I wake up. My heart sinks when people tell me they are married and have kids. I feel like a complete failure as I needed it for my self validation. Every day is a struggle for me and hence the debt really.

I think I'd rather not wake up one day, that's how I have felt since I split with my ex.

fiestaman87

PinkTwirl wrote: »

It actually severely depresses me that I will be single forever. I can't sleep at night and I wake up during the night depressed and think about it when I wake up. My heart sinks when people tell me they are married and have kids. I feel like a complete failure as I needed it for my self validation. Every day is a struggle for me and hence the debt really.

I think I'd rather not wake up one day, that's how I have felt since I split with my ex.

Hey, your Mr Right will come one day - you never know he might be on these boards. :cool:

I feel the way you do sometimes, it does get me down at times but as others have said: "When you least expect it..."

Yargo1

Hi all, lol yeah sarahb ive been lurking..but not posting! just not had much time at all lately..sorry! hope you are all ok, sounds like you all are. pink twirl glad you staying with the thread...def best to just ignore that silly idiot you had the run in with!

xxx

bathgatebuyer

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I just honestly think most men I find attractive don't want long term relationships. I hoped I would change my tastes but I don't seem to!

I know that feeling! There was a guy I liked a while back whom I bumped into recently on the bus - my heart went all aflutter - and I knew I still absolutely fancied him. Chatted away, had a good blether and then he said the words I always hate to hear, "My girlfriend................." :rolleyes: I'm sure he kept talking but after mentioning he had a girlfriend, all I heard was, "Yada yada yada yada yada..................."

The 'least expect it' is something I hear all the time (mostly from the people who have never been single and who flit from relationship to relationship without a break!). It's right up with there with the comments I heard said to a couple who were going through IVF at work in the office the other day, "Just go away on a holiday together and it will happen naturally..............................just relax........................buy some nice underwear........................if it's meant to happen, it'll happen.........................you can have some of our kids when you want to.....................................". All very well intentioned, but the person it was said to had real sadness in their eyes and you could see them just desperate to leave the room.

PinkTwirl

fiestaman87 wrote: »

Hey, your Mr Right will come one day - you never know he might be on these boards. :cool:

I feel the way you do sometimes, it does get me down at times but as others have said: "When you least expect it..."

I drove my ex away, and I drove him to hit me. I got too annoyed at the things he did and didn't do. It's taken me 31 years to realise either just accept it or leave.

Of course, he could still have done what he did and I'd still be in this position. I just beat myself up now for kind of causing my own loneliness.

bathgatebuyer

PinkTwirl wrote: »

It actually severely depresses me that I will be single forever. I can't sleep at night and I wake up during the night depressed and think about it when I wake up. My heart sinks when people tell me they are married and have kids. I feel like a complete failure as I needed it for my self validation. Every day is a struggle for me and hence the debt really.

I know that feeling very well. It's only natural too for people to ask when you get to a 'certain age' :rolleyes:, "Are you married..................do you have kids................?" and you end up having to avert your eyes (Princess Diana style) and say, "Um no". It's not nice at all and I totally understand why it gets you down. That's the way I felt about 5 years ago and it only ended up with me having what can only be described as a breakdown and ended up needing a series of counselling sessions which my GP arranged for me. They were a big help. It did help me deal with the way I felt at the time and occasionally I flit into that depressed, "I feel useless and ugly" mode that I was in back then. Difference is that now I try not to think about it too much. I know how bad it can be when those feelings dominate your life and all it does is get you down. I'm sorry you're not happy with the way things are going for you at the moment, but you've every right to expect better than it sounds as if you had in your last relationship.

skint_spice

Pink, any man worth his salt would walk away without hitting you. Don't fret over him.

runmichellerun

I'm in the same boat as you all - and after recent events I feel completely sure that I'm no good even when I AM in a relationship.

I somehow turn into a different person - checking my phone every 10 minutes for a text, getting obsessive about what they're doing and why they want to do it without me, over-analysing EVERYTHING and generally coming to the wrong conclusions - so that's why I think I'll be eternally single. I seem to be miserable even when I am in a relationship.

God, reading that back makes me feel so sad. I wonder how I can possibly rectify something as huge as that?

bathgatebuyer

I'm still not even sure what it feels like to be in a relationship - LOL!!! Maybe it would change me too.

I think my expectations as far as men go were set artificially high at an early age with my Hart to Hart addiction when I was a kid. If he's not a self-made millionaire with a private jet, a Rolls Royce and a butler, then I'm not interested!