Single and in debt.

bathgatebuyer

Ha ha! That's my experience of the online dating thing too. Tried datingdirect and match without much luck, in fact, I only had two people contact me and a number of 'not interesteds' when I tried contacting them. One guy who did respond seemed a nice guy, primary school teacher, talked about how he loved his job and working in education and had a passion for learning too, and we also shared similar tastes in music and I thought, seems a nice guy. Next email, "So will you have sex with me then?" Sad thing is, he told me the school he worked at, and how he liked to pick off the single Mums at parents nights and fetes and things and so thought dating websites would be a good way for 'no strings sex'. All this after I'd said, "Not what I'm after".

I did chat to one guy who seemed nice and about a week after adding him on Bebo, I discovered he had two kids and a wife that he'd forgot to mention. Plonker. Not long thereafter I also saw his name on the daily courts list too where he was, apparently, facing fraud charges!

And yes, I did ask Match for my money back but all they offered was another 6 months free to 'find the right man' :rolleyes: One other person contacted me after that and he was, in his words, 'slow mentally and looking for someone to look after him because of his special needs' which is sweet in a way, but not really for me.

I can only describe online dating as being the biggest waste of money I've ever spent.

eco

the trouble with internet dating is you can't take it seriously, trying to sort the decent ones out from the carp takes too long. Anyway I've decided I need a man who's a long distance lorry driver, who's away all week, then I can do what I want during the week and pu up with them on a weekend

LittleEmms

Ok so I'm coming along... and not sure if I should be .. but i just wanted to say from a 'thought I was gonna always be single' singleton - things changed for me (a good news story if you like....:rolleyes: )

I was in a long term relationship, bought a house. Not that long after, he left and for the first year or so - I was in denial. We stayed too close really and I never got away from him. We didn't split on really bad terms (no cheating, etc)... remained friends (sometimes more than that ) but overall I just think we outgrew each other.

For the last 3 years - I really wasn't interested in anyone. I dated, yes, but always with a barrier up that even the best mountainous explorer couldn't climb.

Finally I let that barrier down, early this year - and I met what I thought was a nice guy. He did something unforgiveable to me, abused my trust completely and needless to say was given the spainish archer quite rapidly ... and although he was an extreme A-hole... and I mean beyond belief, for some reason I knew not all men could be that bad, however I was put off for a while... (as you would imagine)

.......then bang!! - 'the slap you in the face when you're not looking'... met a guy through a mutual friend. She's known him for a long time - and I've known her for years... but in a different capacity. We weren't set up on a date - we were just all out. I knew from the minute I met him I liked him, we just clicked. I feel more comfortable with him then I have ever done anyone. We have loads weirdly in common and I'm so glad I didn't meet him any earlier - cos I wouldn't have been ready.

Although its early stages in comparison - I've never felt so much that I can just be 'me'. And that's so important.

I hate to sound cliche - but I truly think, when you are ready, it will happen... and just when you're not looking or not expecting it, it will wham-bam slap you in the face!!

Don't mean to sound like a happy bunny who's gloating, more of a been in the single game... wondering if I'll remain that way..... to be pleasantly suprised!:D

bathgatebuyer

Unfortunately the 'when you least expect it' gives you little more option than hanging about waiting for it to happen. That's kind of why I gave up and I know that I'll probably die on my own, but hey, some people are just meant to be on their own and I guess out of my peers at Uni, I'm the token shelf-dweller!

It may sound incredibly unambitious, I have no bigger want in life than to have someone cuddle me. Unfortunately the world appears to be full of people who want all the things in a partner that I am not. Rather than get upset about it, I've just learned to accept that they want something different. Do I change myself to suit them? Or do I just accept that? Tbh, I've just accepted it. It's much easier than living with the hollow feeling of loneliness in your life.

I'm totally amazed at those who can just flit from one relationship to the next as it's the one thing in life I've never really had. I'm good at most things I do - sports, music, Uni - so to be a complete failure in relationship terms is something that I really struggled with to the point of considering taking my own life such was the loneliness that I felt each minute of the day. Life is so much easier now that I have just learned to say, "Relationships are just not meant to happen for me". There are when I feel incredibly lonely (always without fail I spend the New Year bells at midnight crying my eyes out while I can sit and hear the fireworks going off in the city and then have the first day back at work full of people saying, "What did you do for new year?") but I counter those by just staying incredibly busy.

Good luck to those who find someone they can enjoy spending time with - it must be great to be able to share the good and bad parts of your life with someone. I'm not going to worry myself about whether it will happen to me or not. I know what I am, and I know what I can and can't cope with. Not being loved is a very difficult thing to admit to, but I just don't let myself think about it to often in case I end up in that very dark place I was in a few years back and which I occasionally revisit when the loneliness creeps to the forefront again.

God, that all sounds really depressing doesn't it?! It's not meant to be. It's me being positive and trying to show that I have a coping mechanism!!!!

PinkTwirl

My experience of match.com was utter rubbish. I did meet with 4 guys. One of them I met and the first thing he said to me was "people don't look like their photos do they?" He didn't - he was much better looking in his photos! He threw money down on the bar for the barmaid to pick up.

Another one had no personality whatsoever (he sent me a text saying "oh I can't wait to meet you, you are beautiful! I can't wait for a kiss," cheeky buggar!), one was a nice guy but that was it and the last one didn't have any conversation.

Makes the things I argued with my ex about seem pretty insignificant now.

PinkTwirl

I know what you mean Bathgate, all through uni and working and etc etc proessional jobs, all the stuff that comes with it, all I've ever wanted is to get married and have kids. Relationship with the ex was a huge disaster, and he has been my only boyfriend (despite people telling me how great I look and how I'm such a good friend, yeah right!)

SmileyG_2

Evening all. how are we this evening....

Just did the Homer Simpson thing, wrote a huge epistle on my life, only to find i wasn't logged in......:doh:

eco, lily, BB, Pink Twirl; I can't just see you sitting in the corner of the Rovers Return doin a "he said, she said" routine (only funnier!).

eco: be careful what you wish for, you might end up with a part time lorry driver who only works weekends....

TDQO; remember what they say about girls on buses; you wait for ages and then two come along at once (or was that just buses......?).

So, got to go and do the single bloke thing now, make the microwave ping!

TTFN :wave:

SmileyG

Lula-Hula

PinkTwirl wrote: »

I'm tempted to leave these boards now, I've had someone abusing me all day (same person, 2 different threads).

I'm close to snapping and I don't need this.

Whoah there PinkTwirl missy,

we're not allowed to leave or sarah gets very upset :eek: she will be suspecting that there's a secret thread again somewhere, then emergency crunchies will be deployed ... please dont do it.

I havent even finished reading to the end of this thread - been very very busy but just had to send out an emergency response . Take no notice of mean posters - probably having a bad hair day or pmt or something, I'm sure you know by now that the vast majority of people here are kind, caring & downright fabulous.

Just send remember to tell nasty spiteful people : "F*CK OFF, I'm fabulous".

Right , going to finish reading the thread now....

bathgatebuyer

PinkTwirl wrote: »

I know what you mean Bathgate, all through uni and working and etc etc proessional jobs, all the stuff that comes with it, all I've ever wanted is to get married and have kids.

My Gran always says to me, "But you're a career girl, aren't you?" and I'm sat there thinking, "If only she knew!"

I'm not sure about the kids bit - pregnant people give me the heeby jeebies!

fiestaman87

Hi all,

I noticed the conversation has been about online dating. Yes I've tried it. Chatted to a few females, most seem pleasent enough but then just disappear on me(esp after a meet up is suggested), some don't respond, I have met some women face to face but never hit it off with them. The problem is that there are too many wierd blokes out there and I fear some women rank me in that category (which I certainly am not). I was chatting to one lady who had a guy ask her what bra size she was....!

Still someone must be out there for me....

Try the free dating ones in this thread

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1215797

btw smooch.com link is dodgy so it needs to be typed in manually.