Single and in debt.

monkeyintrouble

Hi all, just noticed this thread and the title made me read it as I fit the criterea. I've been single for just over 2 years now. I notice that everyone on this thread seems to be female. Well I am a single guy and probably my main reason for getting into so much debt is actually "being single"! I have squandered lots of money going out, socialising and going on a few dates. Maybe it was a "feel good factor" at the time but the financial mess its left me in is a "feel bad factor". I now owe that much I have hit a brick wall. No spare cash to go out anymore, no chance of getting a date with no cash. Just in the throws of sorting a DMP with CCCS so hopefully a better future ahead, well at least back to a "feel good factor" if only in the finance side of things.
Hope you girls dont mind me joining this thread. Just thought you should know it happens to single guys too. And hey, nothing wrong with being single, although it is an expensive way of living with only one income!

Monkey

SunderlandBlackCat

monkeyintrouble wrote: »

I notice that everyone on this thread seems to be female.

Not everyone mate, there are a few of us blokes on the thread but we're not as visible to the casual browser.

Welcome to the thread.

Smamfer

Hey all,


Thought i would stop by to have a nosey and realised its where i belong, Been single for a while now. Mainly through to having a " tosspots welcome here" magnet fixed somewhere to me. Im sure im not the first and wont be the last still not fun when its constant tho!

Anyway my debt started 10 years ago with my daughters daddy we was earning well. he left.. i was left holding the baby and paying the debts.. Managed to clear it all up and started afresh. Things have been up and down mainly my bank account but carried on working and now im grabbing it by the horns and getting sorted again. My debt doesn't worry me as i know im doing all i can and working every god damn hour to sort it and give my daughter a good life.. What does bother me at times is that i so want to just share my feelings with someone. Not land my debt on someone elses lap but maybe have someone close by i can talk to and they know where im coming from

That,, ladies and gents.. is why this place is so valuable xx

monkeyintrouble

Quote Smamfer;
My debt doesn't worry me as i know im doing all i can and working every god damn hour to sort it and give my daughter a good life.. What does bother me at times is that i so want to just share my feelings with someone. Not land my debt on someone elses lap but maybe have someone close by i can talk to and they know where im coming from

That,, ladies and gents.. is why this place is so valuable xx

My sentiments exactly!

Although 99.9% of people on this forum are addressing their debt problems in a sensible manner, there is more to life than debt.
I just want to get all my debts sorted so I can get on with my life I know its my fault Im in this mess, so its down to me to get it sorted. With a little help from the knowledeable and friendly people on here of course.
I know Im limited to what I can do to get out of "singledom" in my current situation but if I can get over the "debt hurdle", who knows what the future holds!
It is hard paying a mortgage and all the associated housing costs when yours is the only income.

Smamfer

monkeyintrouble wrote: »

Quote Smamfer;
My debt doesn't worry me as i know im doing all i can and working every god damn hour to sort it and give my daughter a good life.. What does bother me at times is that i so want to just share my feelings with someone. Not land my debt on someone elses lap but maybe have someone close by i can talk to and they know where im coming from

That,, ladies and gents.. is why this place is so valuable xx

My sentiments exactly!

Although 99.9% of people on this forum are addressing their debt problems in a sensible manner, there is more to life than debt.
I just want to get all my debts sorted so I can get on with my life I know its my fault Im in this mess, so its down to me to get it sorted. With a little help from the knowledeable and friendly people on here of course.
I know Im limited to what I can do to get out of "singledom" in my current situation but if I can get over the "debt hurdle", who knows what the future holds!
It is hard paying a mortgage and all the associated housing costs when yours is the only income.

(nods)

my living accom at the mo is pants from where i was a few years ago...

At 18 i bought my own house.. 25k with a 160 pound a month mortgage lol god how heavenly does that sound..

At 29 being a single parent i did that sensible thing followed a dream and bought a pub lol.. I didnt need to sell my house to buy my pub but i did... i was on cloud 9 thinking everything would be dreamy.. i sold it i had an ice new car ploughed money into the pub the lot..
Things happened...................

Now at nrly 34 im about to rent 2 rooms off a mate for me and my daughter.. i was renting last year but the cost of living scares me and was getting me down like a lot of people, i moved back to my folks and shared a room with my daughter... i desperately want our own place again im not good at living under someone elses roof no matter how much of a friend they are...
i went to the council list about 5 years ago to be put on the list... because i work for a living and im not asking them to pay for anything meaning im not desperate means im not a priority..... sorry but this system in this country is so wrong.. ive asked for a flat a house a bungalow.. ive stated i dont want financial help just somewhere affordable..... no lets give it to a 16 yr old that couldnt keep her legs shut and mummy then says shes kicked her out.... harsh but oh so true in so many places. she wont work has never worked and probably never will

^ slightly off topic but i needed a rant

runmichellerun

Welcome Smamfer and monkeyintrouble. It doesn't matter if you're male, female, old, young or anything else really. All are welcome. I look forward to reading your progress with becoming debt free / finding love (if you're trying to that is)

RMR x

Smamfer

runmichellerun wrote: »

Welcome Smamfer and monkeyintrouble. It doesn't matter if you're male, female, old, young or anything else really. All are welcome. I look forward to reading your progress with becoming debt free / finding love (if you're trying to that is)

RMR x

**waves**

Love sounds good.. shall i do my sales pitch now!

monkeyintrouble

Smamfer wrote: »

**waves**

Love sounds good.. shall i do my sales pitch now!

That wasn't a rant Smamfer, thats just probably the way most people feel nowadays. This government has the country geared up for people who dont want to work. Those who do actually go to work are the ones who are struggling the most. My ex wife works part time and has a bigger income than me, and I work over 50 hours a week, pay for everything myself, thats probably why Im in debt and she's not!

Well that may have been a rant, but rant over!

Anyway, good luck to you all, in love and in wealth :T

Yargo1

Well.... things been quiet on here today! lol Hope everyone is ok? Im good, still single....still trying to get in shape...arrived at circuit class 15 mins late but still joined in and then did 35 mins to make up lateness on some of the machines there. knackered now!

feeling bit mis today.. but hey ho.... just watched "the family" , dont know if anyone else here is watching it but its brill .

Ossireo

You know, I wasnt going to post this as its way too ranty, but then I thought I typed it and really need to get it off my chest. Will just make it my last post if I upset everyone with it I guess

monkeyintrouble wrote: »

My ex wife works part time and has a bigger income than me, and I work over 50 hours a week, pay for everything myself, thats probably why Im in debt and she's not!

Trying working for nearly 20 years, then ill/redundant and finding yourself stuck on IS with all the debts incurred from past with good job. Then try to find work with the stigma of prior depression/anxiety when even the basic jobs ask for full medical history then add in being lumped by people as an "IS scrounging biatch who got pregnant for money!" add again the guy you meet leering at you with the "you're probably better off then me not workin!" ...yes cos of course I am really happy sitting here with £13k worth of debts and no end in sight of paying them off because I am no longer in full time work :rolleyes:

Trouble is the slappers referred to in above post give people like me (I like to think of myself as genuine!) a tarnished name when people judge without knowing why you ended up having to claim benefits in the first place!

Guess I sound bitter, well I guess really really am. I am getting p1ssed off with applying for work and having to declare the stupid illness that was in my opinion medical negligence and it really does make a difference to applications irrespective of all they state on medical questionnaires. Then I see people make comments about 'Lone Parents' and stuff and its like a red rag to a bull. Trust me I use to deal with claims from 16/17 year olds and I have seen more then you can possibly imagine, hence why I probably hate being compared to them :mad:

In the meantime I am studying at home trying to learn to be a book keeper as I know at least as self employed my medical history doesn't matter, but its going way too slow and I really WANT to be working. The agencies dont seem to come up with anything, but at least I know the law etc about working/claiming so its easy to know what action to take with irregular income (use to administer benefits so I know the DMG better then most people lol) but ultimately I want to work, and I dont care if I end up worse off with travelling costs etc, would rather be that then under other peoples scrutiny and bad feelings.

*bottles up bad feelings again and goes off to sulk and eat*