Single and in debt.

sarahb123_3

This thread has been far too quiet recently, where is everyone

Ossireo, hope you are feeling better for getting it off your chest, don't worry about ranting (which you weren't) that's what we're here for. :grouphug: Totally agree with everything you say, you should be really proud of yourself for how far you have come. I remember your post explaining about the medical negligence situation, I didn't realise it made such a difference in applying for jobs. The home study thing might not be going as quickly as you would like, but remember you will get there, and all your hard work will be worth it, it might not feel like that at the moment, but you will get through this. Just think how brilliant it will be when you are working for yourself! Try to focus on that, think positive! I would love to work for myself, you are very brave!

As for other people's scrutiny and bad feelings- it's nobody else's business but yours. If those sort of people didn't have that to say to you, they would find something else. Some people are just like that.:mad: It says nothing about you, and everything about them.

If you are still eating and sulking, I hope you are feeling better and whatever you have to hand is yummy xxx

sarahb123_3

Yargo1 wrote: »

Well.... things been quiet on here today! lol Hope everyone is ok? Im good, still single....still trying to get in shape...arrived at circuit class 15 mins late but still joined in and then did 35 mins to make up lateness on some of the machines there. knackered now!

feeling bit mis today.. but hey ho.... just watched "the family" , dont know if anyone else here is watching it but its brill .

Don't know how you are managing all this exercise, even reading your posts about it wears me out! Hope you are feeling less mis now, is "the family" the one with the really "shouty" man? Think I have seen it advertised but he has put me off it.

monkeyintrouble

Ossireo wrote: »

You know, I wasnt going to post this as its way too ranty, but then I thought I typed it and really need to get it off my chest. Will just make it my last post if I upset everyone with it I guess



Trying working for nearly 20 years, then ill/redundant and finding yourself stuck on IS with all the debts incurred from past with good job. Then try to find work with the stigma of prior depression/anxiety when even the basic jobs ask for full medical history then add in being lumped by people as an "IS scrounging biatch who got pregnant for money!" add again the guy you meet leering at you with the "you're probably better off then me not workin!" ...yes cos of course I am really happy sitting here with £13k worth of debts and no end in sight of paying them off because I am no longer in full time work :rolleyes:

Trouble is the slappers referred to in above post give people like me (I like to think of myself as genuine!) a tarnished name when people judge without knowing why you ended up having to claim benefits in the first place!

Guess I sound bitter, well I guess really really am. I am getting p1ssed off with applying for work and having to declare the stupid illness that was in my opinion medical negligence and it really does make a difference to applications irrespective of all they state on medical questionnaires. Then I see people make comments about 'Lone Parents' and stuff and its like a red rag to a bull. Trust me I use to deal with claims from 16/17 year olds and I have seen more then you can possibly imagine, hence why I probably hate being compared to them :mad:

In the meantime I am studying at home trying to learn to be a book keeper as I know at least as self employed my medical history doesn't matter, but its going way too slow and I really WANT to be working. The agencies dont seem to come up with anything, but at least I know the law etc about working/claiming so its easy to know what action to take with irregular income (use to administer benefits so I know the DMG better then most people lol) but ultimately I want to work, and I dont care if I end up worse off with travelling costs etc, would rather be that then under other peoples scrutiny and bad feelings.

*bottles up bad feelings again and goes off to sulk and eat*

Just read your post and the second paragraph seems your labelling my ex wife as "a slapper" Well she might be "my ex" but she's no slapper. She is the mother of my grown up daughter and just because we have parted doesn't make her a slapper! Apologies accepted!
She is just a single woman, who now has a 10 year old daughter to another relationship she had a few years after we had split. The point I was making was the government seem to favour people like her who choose to work part time and subsidise their small wage with state benefits, and ultimately have bigger incomes than people who are prepared to go out to work a full week, if not more. Seems to me the more you work the less you get!
Reading your rant, you dont fall into the catagory I am talking about and I sympathise with you. I was talking about people who "tailor the benefits system" to extract the most they can while sitting back and letting the "proud" people to earn enough to fund the tax system to pay for it all.

SunderlandBlackCat

monkeyintrouble wrote: »

Just read your post and the second paragraph seems your labelling my ex wife as "a slapper" Well she might be "my ex" but she's no slapper. She is the mother of my grown up daughter and just because we have parted doesn't make her a slapper! Apologies accepted!

Hmmm :think:

As a neutral observer it reads to me that it is women/girls who get pregnant for the sole purpose of getting a house/benefits/child support that she is referring to as slappers.

I think you might want to think about issuing an apology of your own..

Ossireo

SunderlandBlackCat wrote: »

Hmmm :think:

As a neutral observer it reads to me that it is women/girls who get pregnant for the sole purpose of getting a house/benefits/child support that she is referring to as slappers.

I think you might want to think about issuing an apology of your own..

SBC is correct, and I am very thankful he seems to know me well enough now to know I wouldnt have meant your wife I was referring to the previous post not the quoted one of "no lets give it to a 16 yr old that couldnt keep her legs shut and mummy then says shes kicked her out.... harsh but oh so true in so many places. she wont work has never worked and probably never will"

Not very well written by me I will admit but I never managed to work out how to double quote posts in a further post.

However if you want to sit smugly Monkey you can have a good laugh that Karma hit back at me this morning for posting my upset views/rant by bouncing my the cheque my exDH had given my DS (as refer to drawer so it cant even be re-presented) and my previous employer has written to me for permission to give 'full details' of my previous medical history/absense history on the reference that has come through for the agency. So yet another place I will be un-employable all because of a stupid misprescribed birthcontrol thing.

I don't seem to have any means to show that the time I was off work was not actually work related stress as thought at the time it was a hormone imbalance! All my medical records can say is "patient drastically improved in a 5 week period following removal of IUD" nothing anywhere will ever say the difference between A & B or it was the cause for the prior problems. I went from being housebound and not able to talk to anyone (I had reduced my hours post redundancy to 20 a week as I could just about put a face on for 4 hours a day but would be ill before and after) to being able to go out anywhere without panic attacks. I came off 'Prozac' straight away, and I have spent the last few months trying to set my life back up following its physical & financial neglect for the last 7 years. Its also been rather nice to feel my determination to suceed return, but some days it is all just too much to deal with and I end up not knowing where to start

Ironically, maybe if I had not been Mrs Sensible and not been all dilligent with birthcontrol I wouldnt have been ill enough to be off work etc and would still be working full time considering I didnt even have partner for last 5 years so the lack of sex would have been adequate birth control! :rolleyes: *sigh*

Ossireo

sarahb123 wrote: »

This thread has been far too quiet recently, where is everyone

Ossireo, hope you are feeling better for getting it off your chest, don't worry about ranting (which you weren't) that's what we're here for. :grouphug: Totally agree with everything you say, you should be really proud of yourself for how far you have come. I remember your post explaining about the medical negligence situation, I didn't realise it made such a difference in applying for jobs. The home study thing might not be going as quickly as you would like, but remember you will get there, and all your hard work will be worth it, it might not feel like that at the moment, but you will get through this. Just think how brilliant it will be when you are working for yourself! Try to focus on that, think positive! I would love to work for myself, you are very brave!

As for other people's scrutiny and bad feelings- it's nobody else's business but yours. If those sort of people didn't have that to say to you, they would find something else. Some people are just like that.:mad: It says nothing about you, and everything about them.

If you are still eating and sulking, I hope you are feeling better and whatever you have to hand is yummy xxx

Thanks for your kind words Sarah :grouphug:

I did go on a kitchen rampage then reminded myself that I am actually trying to lose weight and scoffing a bunch of stuff (not that there is anything remotely evil in house anyway) is not going to let me get into a size 16 for Xmas, so I had a cup of tea and two apricots and went to bed with a book!

monkeyintrouble

SunderlandBlackCat wrote: »

Hmmm :think:

As a neutral observer it reads to me that it is women/girls who get pregnant for the sole purpose of getting a house/benefits/child support that she is referring to as slappers.

I think you might want to think about issuing an apology of your own..

If you read it like I read it she quotes ME and says
"like slappers referred to in above post"
So what am I to think? I dont think I owe anybody an apology as thats how its set out above. If she was quoting another thread why did she quote ME?Im not on here to argue with anybody or discuss their medical problems, I am here for good advice which 99.9% of people on here are willing to give. All I was doing was highlighting the point why not only a large proportion of the population are in a financial mess, but now the large institutions and the government aswell. But as usual, the taxpayer has to bail even them out again!
I rest my case and hope you all sort out your problems.

ps; Ossireo, Im not being "smug" as you suggest, what happens in your life has nothing to do with me and I only wish you well. I was only defending the mother of my daughter for apparently being labelled something she's not

Lets be grown up and end this stupid arguement. Thank you

SunderlandBlackCat

monkeyintrouble wrote: »

If you read it like I read it she quotes ME and says
"like slappers referred to in above post"
So what am I to think? I dont think I owe anybody an apology as thats how its set out above. If she was quoting another thread why did she quote ME?

Because a post & a quote are different things & after the quote she moved on & changed the subject to people lumping her in with scroungers who get pregnant for money

Ossireo wrote:

add in being lumped by people as an "IS scrounging biatch who got pregnant for money!" add again the guy you meet leering at you with the "you're probably better off then me not workin!"

Which cast my mind back back to Smamfer's post

Smamfer wrote:

no lets give it to a 16 yr old that couldnt keep her legs shut and mummy then says shes kicked her out.... harsh but oh so true in so many places. she wont work has never worked and probably never will

& thats where my thoughts went to when she said slappers, it didn't occur to me for even a second that she was referring to your ex, even after I saw your reaction & went back to re-read it.

monkeyintrouble wrote: »

I was only defending the mother of my daughter for apparently being labelled something she's not

Lets be grown up and end this stupid arguement. Thank you

I applaud you for wanting to defend your ex from an insult but there was no insult to her & you overreacted & thats why you should apologise.

Yargo1

sarahb123 wrote: »

Don't know how you are managing all this exercise, even reading your posts about it wears me out! Hope you are feeling less mis now, is "the family" the one with the really "shouty" man? Think I have seen it advertised but he has put me off it.

Hiya sarah and all, Yeah it was the one with the shouty man. lol he is funny. Tbh feel really sorry for him! lol

Hows everyone doing this evening? im at job two till nine... was Naughty...had kfc on my way here!!! lol

monkeyintrouble

Quote; I applaud you for wanting to defend your ex from an insult but there was no insult to her & you overreacted & thats why you should apologise.

If you cant see my point after what I said then I suggest you just keep out of it altogether. I said I dont want to argue. I've made my point and as you seem so keen on repeating yourself, here's my little go....I dont owe anybody an apology! Why dont you go and find a forum on busybodies.com or something similar. This site is for people who are in financial trouble and not a soap box in the park.I've explained my point of view, wished the OP well and requested we act like adults and not argue. YOU are just fuelling the fire.

END OF!!!!!!