Single and in debt.

sarahb123_3

skint_spice wrote: »

I only managed to start sorting out my debts after splitting with someone who'd made them even worse but now I feel in control for the first time ever so being single isn't all bad!
You never know Sarah - maybe that bloke's watching his phone just as much as you are...;)

I wish he was! Don't think so, unfortunately! *sobs dramatically* It was one of those situations where he was really nice until I became interested, then he wasn't so keen. Grrrrr, men!!!!!!!!!!!!

skint_spice

sarahb123 wrote: »

I wish he was! Don't think so, unfortunately! *sobs dramatically* It was one of those situations where he was really nice until I became interested, then he wasn't so keen. Grrrrr, men!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh snap! had one of those recently too, and he didn't want it to ruin our friendship only now we don't seem to have a friendship either.:rolleyes:

sarahb123_3

marleyboy wrote: »

I miss having company, being single is something im not used to, ive been in 2 relationships in my life, 13 and 10 yrs, so id be classed as inexperienced at finding romance, made even more complex by all my friends having families of their own. I work, I get home, I cook, clean, set myrself up for the next day, rarely do i go out (unless invited to parties), of which even if I do, id be on my own, certainly not something I enjoy. Its one thing to say I am debt free, but what is wealth if you have nobody to share the pleasure with.

Its not meant as a statement about all that glitters is gold or money buys love, its meant more as I would much rather provide for my family, than spend it on myself, that in itself is the pleasure of going to work.

Marleyboy, you sound like such a lovely man! It is horrible to have to go to parties by yourself sometimes, lots of us know that feeling. Have you tried asking friends if they or their partners know any single women they could introduce you to?

skint_spice

BTW if any of you are near Leeds there's a DFW meet soon so you might might some like minded folks and have a nice time. Not going myself - too far for me but I've met some of the others and they're lovely.

Ossireo

Can I come here and lurk on this thread too! Pretty please!

Been single for nearly 5 years now :eek: and I feel the same as a lot of you do about getting use to being alone (well besides my 7 year old!). Top that with a fierce determination to be independent and get through this mess and I am kind of stuck :rotfl:

Does anyone else also find that they worry a bit about the finances in relation to meeting someone new? I mean I often think, gosh, what if they are solvent, I wouldn't want to screw up their rating etc or have people think I am a gold digger lol

sarahb123_3

Ossireo wrote: »

Can I come here and lurk on this thread too! Pretty please!

Been single for nearly 5 years now :eek: and I feel the same as a lot of you do about getting use to being alone (well besides my 7 year old!). Top that with a fierce determination to be independent and get through this mess and I am kind of stuck :rotfl:

Does anyone else also find that they worry a bit about the finances in relation to meeting someone new? I mean I often think, gosh, what if they are solvent, I wouldn't want to screw up their rating etc or have people think I am a gold digger lol

Of course you can! You are very welcome.
I worry about that too, but I worry more about what someone may think of me, how did she get into this situation, etc. I feel like it doesn't exactly give a good impression of me as a responsible adult.

marleyboy

Theres a distinct difference I think to being independant and being with a partner, its funny single women and men alike, seem to spend their lives determined to prove they can go it alone....This is good, it shows a determination not to be reliant on anyone.

For me I guess YES, I can go it alone, in fact if anything, its far cheaper and easier going it alone. (it has its perks single life), but do I really want to spend the rest of my life like that? I fear growing old lonely, dying in some council tower block and nobody knowing. Family have always been an important part of my life. Being single contradicts the idea of having a family I could call my own. It affects everything, my WANT to go out, my WANT to go to work, yes, theyre all seemingly feeble excuses,

What I mean is one can lose their ambitions if they see no point in them. One becomes reclusive, withdrawn and turned inwards, which has a diverse effect on ones abilities to find a partner.

I thank you all for your advice, I havent considered internet dating sites. (Think they cost a fortune,,,and paying a dating service to find you a partner, kinda goes against the idea of finding the right person)

Asking your mates if they know any "single women" to take out to a party, makes you sound desperate, and at least to many male freinds "sad".

Its not as if I can walk into a bar on my own, see an attractive woman, and simply walk over and introduce myself.

Buffythedebtslayer

marleyboy wrote: »

Its not as if I can walk into a bar on my own, see an attractive woman, and simply walk over and introduce myself.

why not?

lots of blokes do that. not to me clearly! but to my friends?

marleyboy

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

why not?

lots of blokes do that. not to me clearly! but to my friends?

Im not the kind of bloke that could easily and confidently do that.

Buffythedebtslayer

marleyboy wrote: »

Im not the kind of bloke that could easily and confidently do that.

you do realise you are sounding more lovely by the second!

I couldn't do it either, well that and I seem to spend most of my evenings in front the TV or books!