I'm sorry, I'm letting everyone down.

immoral_angeluk

daphne_descends wrote: »

Oh IA I can only second SOME of the other posts -stuff em! You are an inspiration, yes, I like the fact that I can identify with you a bit and that you are human and sometimes use a credit card even when you know better - it certainly makes me reassured that I am not 'bad' for not concentrating on money 24/7. Because none of us can do that and stay sane. Really. I have not posted an up to date SOA for about 6 months because I can't face it. The fact that most DFW people are NORMAL makes me feel okay about this. Yes a kick up the a*se might be what I need as well but really the fact that DFW is not a bunch of superheroes (well... maybe some are actually!) makes it okay to post here and say things like 'I screwed up today, I spent more than I should have'

I miss the confessionals!

I don't know you very well but I really hope you don't leave, you bring spirit to the board.

:grouphug:

But that's exactly it... everyone else is allowed to get on with their ups and downs but as soon as I own up to doing something stupid or spending on the credit card a bit too much I get a lynch mob chasing me away with pitchforks...

(Land_of)_Maz

Having a diary is leaving yourself (and your family/lifestyle) wide open to public scrutiny. So when you publicly admit to your flaws then those who resent you will have a go. And I think you are strong enough to handle them, plus (as Toto said) you have tons of people fighting your corner.

But then sometimes people aren't having a go at you, they are merely playing devils advocate really..... but you are still as defensive...

I agree you maybe need to take a step back, and give less of yourself and your family life over to all your readers... that way people will have less to criticise you for.

To err is human, but to be honest IA, the person who puts the most pressure on you is you...

I hope this doesn't come across as b i t c h y cause i've reread and rewritten it several time to not come across that way.

kpwll

As a new starter on DFW I find all you 'oldies' so inspirational. I'm in my 50's and have made millions of mistakes in my life, financial and others and if I'm honest will probably keep on making them. I've never yet met a person who hasn't made any. Opinions are fine, but they shouldn't hurt or upset other people, live your life to suit you and yours. Someone on here has a little sentence at the bottom which reads something like:
Someone who hasn't made a mistake hasn't made anything.
That says it all.
Best wishes.

daphne_descends

Well stuff the lynch mob, are they so perfect themselves?

People often forget to look at the bigger picture. Pre-MSE - no Debt Free Date even in the consciousness! So your recent spending pushes your DFD back a month, two months, HELL EVEN SIX!!!! You are CLEARING your debt. It is a long journey. There are ups and downs. You are changing your life for the better - studying, working, Ste being your rock to lean on - how dare anyone tell you and your family that you don't deserve to treat yourselves.

You only come under examination because of your openness and your honesty and those things are amazing and should not be punished and criticised. If we all posted with the truth that you do I bet the lynch mob would be all over the place! I know it would for me. I admire your honesty Sar and only wish I had the courage to match it.

Please do not leave this place because of a few holier-than-thou pious idiots.

wannabespendthrift

As one of the ones who posted when you asked what people thought of getting your tatoo (although I SPECIFICALLY didn't mention the tatoo cos of the background to it) I'm a bit mystified about perceived critcism. There was one post about 'did you deserve everything you didn't work for' or something but that was the only post I thought was a bit off. There is a difference between people giving you an answer you didn't want to hear but which might be food for thought and them criticising or belittling you.

That said, I hope you find a bit of peace away from here if you do feel like you're being held up to an impossible standard. You certainly have a lot of positives in your real life to embrace.

Gemmzie

I'm with Maz on this one Sar, you're being a bit hasty, so the break is probably for the best, I think this topic should be locked too before it breaks down into petty arguing which is against the spirit of the board totally.

skint_spice

We all have ups and downs IA and you're only young, you'll probably be DF and MF by the time you're my age. If you feel you need time away that's fair enough but only if it's your choice.

P.S. I want to see the coloured tattoo!

immoral_angeluk

Gemmzie wrote: »

I'm with Maz on this one Sar, you're being a bit hasty, so the break is probably for the best, I think this topic should be locked too before it breaks down into petty arguing which is against the spirit of the board totally.

Sorry. I'll go. Again it seems my honesty is getting me in trouble.

Take care everyone. :grouphug:

moggylover

Sorry you feel this way immoral_angel, have found you a kind and sensible poster who cares for more than just herself on here.

I too find a lot of the nastiness and bitterness on here hard to bear - and suspect that some people have a lot to learn about even being a human being - let alone caring about others. However, there are a committed few who know that life has many shades of grey between the black and white and reach out to comfort those struggling with their problems and want to support not criticise/burn. You are one of those I think, and so will be a loss to the site, imo, as the criticise/burn crowd just want to make themselves feel better: the kind ones just want to help others.

Take a brief break - and come back to us! But hold your head up high - the first step to being the person you want to be is to accept that you are NOT perfect, and as a human, probably never can be, but that you can and do, do the best that you can!

CAFCGirl

Hey IA

I just wanted to say I've (obviously!) got no idea what went on, what was said, what was meant, what was poor taste jokes etc.ou, if you find you are having more stress than support on the website, then yeah maybe some time off could help.

Maybe as a previous poster said, emotions are running a bit high, people are a bit more sensitive just lately. Plus sometimes we take things in a certain light because of that, because of other issues, or because we in ourselves already know the flip side of the coin to the decisions we made.

For example I've had my LBM, I know what I need to do to help my situation, some months I do some months I dont.
5 days ago I bought a new laptop, on a credit card and had no idea how long it would take to pay off the extra.... i then spent £85 on a new tattoo...now all these things i know were a "bad" decision, but at the time i just wanted a little taste of life, to feel like i was living again, and now im thinking about getting back to the grind..

I like you, I dont talk to you too much, I'm not that heavily involved with your story, but what I know, I like, and what I dont know (i.e if a little something something gets put on the credit card) is ok.... because you're like me and I'm like you...... and we're just getting through the days as best we can!