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I'm sorry, I'm letting everyone down.

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  • chief1959
    chief1959 Posts: 19 Forumite
    Hi Sarah,

    I also lurked on MSE - reading your diary a couple of years ago is what actually got me hooked to the site:) . It was around the time you were expecting your second little one.

    I admired your openess and honesty. You have been an inspiration to a lot of people .

    As others have said, do what is right for you and your family

    Tracey
  • I am sad to read this, but actually I am doing some thing similar on another messages board, taking a holiday to let things move on and come back to a fresh start.

    For the record sarah I think the way you live you life so honestly and doing so much, no one could say you exist you really do live, I think its brilliant. I want half you guts! not literally obviosly that would be gross but you get the idea!

    come back soon hon I will miss you

    xxxxxxxx
    Nevertheless she persisted.
  • ZTD
    ZTD Posts: 24,327 Forumite
    I guess this is my kind of public apology/confession.

    You have nothing to apologise for.
    It sounds really naff and up my own a*se but there's a lot of people who read my diary and take some kind of inspiration from it when trying to deal with their own debts. At the moment due to various circumstances I'm really not doing well at all and if anything am letting everyone down on there as they look to me to be this shining example of everything MSE. Sad I know.

    If everything went your way, how could people (including you) learn from that?
    The last time I posted on my diary about our debt it seemed to upset a lot of people who then started attacking and criticising me as if I'm not allowed to be human, which is part of the reason I haven't been posting much on my diary anymore. Yes, our debt has increased and ok yes it may have run away with us a bit but it's almost as if I'm not allowed to make mistakes and be human.

    Ask yourself the question. If idiots agreed absolutely with everything you do, and would do the same themselves - what would that make you? ;)

    Every decision you make is a decision *you've* made. Sometimes the right decisions go wrong, and sometimes the wrong decisions go right. But someone has to make them, and that someone is you. Yes, some of us will be there going :naughty:, be we are just trying to help. Other people who are more :mad: are just idiots, and should be ignored.
    This is why for the time being, I'm going to resign from MSE. I'll probably come back, but it may be under a different alias as I feel now that the immoral_angeluk name itself has overtaken me as a person and people look to the name for inspiration rather than seeing that I'm just a normal person who's trying to sort out her debt and if I'm honest it's very overwhelming at times and puts a lot of pressure on me to be perfect.

    That's the thing. You're an inspiration because you're not perfect.

    Do you not think that the "being human" and "making mistakes" is *why* you are an inspiration to people? You could be perfect (like wot I iz innit), but how can anyone aspire to perfection? It's not possible. You can however, aspire to being someone who tries to make the best decision for themselves and their family given all of the circumstances and constraints.

    That'll be you then.

    Maybe you should take this as a motto:

    "I'm not perfect, but am a scary gothy tattooed type of tinkerbell...." © barnaby-bear ;)
    I'll probably lurk but won't post as I like to keep up with what everyone's up to, especially with recent events. I'm sorry if I've let alone down.

    You've let no one down. Recharge your batteries, and rise to fight again.
    Love to everyone.

    Sarah/IA x

    You too. :kisses3:
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."
    OMD 'Julia's Song'
  • emily_jackson
    emily_jackson Posts: 1,695 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Hi Sarah,Just wanted to say that I'll miss reading your posts. Look after yourself and your family.Emily
  • Herewegoagain
    Herewegoagain Posts: 2,370 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    I guess this is my kind of public apology/confession. It sounds really naff and up my own a*se but there's a lot of people who read my diary and take some kind of inspiration from it when trying to deal with their own debts. At the moment due to various circumstances I'm really not doing well at all and if anything am letting everyone down on there as they look to me to be this shining example of everything MSE. Sad I know. The last time I posted on my diary about our debt it seemed to upset a lot of people who then started attacking and criticising me as if I'm not allowed to be human, which is part of the reason I haven't been posting much on my diary anymore. Yes, our debt has increased and ok yes it may have run away with us a bit but it's almost as if I'm not allowed to make mistakes and be human.
    This is why for the time being, I'm going to resign from MSE. I'll probably come back, but it may be under a different alias as I feel now that the immoral_angeluk name itself has overtaken me as a person and people look to the name for inspiration rather than seeing that I'm just a normal person who's trying to sort out her debt and if I'm honest it's very overwhelming at times and puts a lot of pressure on me to be perfect.

    I'll probably lurk but won't post as I like to keep up with what everyone's up to, especially with recent events. I'm sorry if I've let alone down.

    Love to everyone.

    Sarah/IA x

    Oh sar darling, you're just you and we are just us, don't let the bu88ers get you down, life is too short and you are toooo nice, if you don't want to post on ur thread for a while thats up to you hon, just like it's up to others if they want to read it. Don't let em run you off xxxx:D
    lost 3stin 4mnths GC nov£90/£51.65 July£100/£97.67 Aug£90/£18.59
    LBM Nov05 Loan £4910.65 Paid April07 sealed pot challenge#256
    Nov06 CC £2,590.56 Paid aug07 + Savings07/08 Night Owl 22#
    Mortgage £87,000/£84,000/ £82,261.00/£81,785.30 £80,268/£75402.00/£71229.15 DFW NERD 987 Long Haul member 125 debt free 24th aug 07
  • bank_of_slate
    bank_of_slate Posts: 12,922 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hi Sar,
    People can be very quick to judge often because it's easier than looking at what's wrong with their own situation.

    I hope that you will still be coming up in September to the Leeds meet!
    You'll get a warm welcome from us whatever you decide!
    ...Linda xx
    It's easy to give in to that negative voice that chants "cant do it" BUT we lift each other up.
    We dont count all the runners ahead of us & feel intimidated.
    Instead we look back proudly at our journey, our personal struggle & determination & remember that there are those that never even attempt to reach the starting line.
  • LouiseJ
    LouiseJ Posts: 11,156 Forumite
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have just wondered where you where then found this!!!:cry:

    Sarah,

    You wont remember as you have spoken to so many on these boards but on my very first post on the daily chat (it was the 5yrs anniversary party) you were the first person to reply with a welcoming comment.:A


    For that I thank you.....I probably wouldnt have hung around on there if someone hadnt replied to my post so in the last few months I would have missed out on meeting all my new DFW friends, including you.............as Lenny said earlier, there are no accidents.

    Take care of yourself and your family and please come back soon. :kisses3:
    But these things take time, I know that I'm, the most inept that ever stepped.
  • beckseven
    beckseven Posts: 877 Forumite
    None of us are perfect(that's why we come here!) and I have always lurked on your blog and enjoyed it because it's nice to read. This DFW stuff is hard especially in these 'credit crunch time'. I just wanted to let you know that i have never judged you and just really appreciated how well you have done-because you have achieved a hell of a lot. So what if you're not perfect-you are human. Good luck and dont' listen to the judgmental sorts.
    HSBC Visa-High interest-£2349.23 Nat West £2605.18
    My Overdraft-£1500
    Barclaycard-1089.77
    Marks and Spencer card- 3331.30 next 92.67
    Total was 11066.29 now £10,968.15
  • Mudbath
    Mudbath Posts: 5,479 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Just wanted to add - sod them! Do what you want to do and if people don't agree with things you do then they need to learn to stop clicking on your threads.

    We all have a choice about what we read and what we reply to and the nature of this forum is to be helpful and be nice to other posters. If people have nothing nice to say they should keep away. In other areas of life some of the posts you've had is called bullying and bullies are just cowards and usually jealous of the person they're out to annoy. Ignore them and they'll go away. I hope to see you back soon xx
  • GirlRacer_2
    GirlRacer_2 Posts: 3,026 Forumite
    Sarah, I just want to add my comments. When I first joined this forum your diary was an inspiration to many. You were pregnant, had a little one were juggling so many things and managing to pay off your debts. Everybod on here had a copy of your weekly shopping list because it was amazing how you could feed your family for so little money. Many people looked on you as the DFW idol. Many of us here still think of you in that way. I very rarely comment on your diary any more but I still read it regularly and I feel gutted that you've come to this decision.

    Whether you decide to stay or go I want you to remember all the people you have helped over the years. You truly are a fabulous person and I'm saddened to think that after all the help you've given, that people can shoot you down in flames. Beckseven is right none of us are perfect but you've come a long way with your debt. Don't think about the debt you've got, think about the debt you've paid off over the years. We've all stood by you and cheered everytime a card was paid off and watched your debt total decrease over time. Keep those thoughts with you because it will remind you of the support network that this forum is about. There are so many regulars that are going to miss you. Take care hun xxx
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