Weekly Flylady Thread 21st July 2008

skintscotslass

mumofjusttwo wrote: »

Hi all.

Not really done much today. Mum has had a letter today from the passport people to say they will not give my niece a new passport unless they have a court order or residency form. My niece lives with my mum and dad and has done for nearly 2 years.

Problem is my niece has a little bit of contact with her dad and I assume that they have to ask him if he has any objections. Will need to find him first as he hasn't spoken to he since mid may.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Presumably your Mum doesnt have a court order or residency form? Has it all been fairly informal? Is this her first or subsequent passport?

kazwookie

Hi folks,

Busy at work done no flying as such again so far,

BUT

Have hoovered up the flying ants that seem to have arrived out of the corner of my patio door into my lounge!!!

pigpen

mumofjusttwo wrote: »

Hi all.

Not really done much today. Mum has had a letter today from the passport people to say they will not give my niece a new passport unless they have a court order or residency form. My niece lives with my mum and dad and has done for nearly 2 years.

Problem is my niece has a little bit of contact with her dad and I assume that they have to ask him if he has any objections. Will need to find him first as he hasn't spoken to he since mid may.

Any advice would be appreciated.

They should apply to the court for a residency order.. if she needed emergency medical treatment they couldn't authorise it!! Her life could be in danger while they try to contact her dad!! That would be my first concern!! The passport issue is just trivia by conparison!

My friend had to get a residency order for her own 2 children after she split with their dad

They really must sort out the legal side.. without this her dad could turn up at any point and demand she goes with him.. until the DAY of her 17th birthday.. unless of course there is some order to keep him away. Could he not simply organise the forms and sort the passport then deal with the rest? For the few minutes it would take.

mumofjusttwo

skintscotslass wrote: »

Presumably your Mum doesnt have a court order or residency form? No. Has it all been fairly informal? Is this her first or subsequent passport?|Yes this is her first passport since my sister died.

can't do multiple quotes

pigpen

I am sitting here seething... My sister who just went on holiday with my mother.. they got back last night.. has chucked a wobbly because her current OH came out with me our other sister and my husband a couple of nights while she was away.. apparently we would be telling him all sorts of inappropriate stuff and stuff she didn't want him to know.. like we are incapable of talking about anything but her.. as it happens she was barely mentioned.. but I am absolutely LIVID that she would even think we would say improper things about her to anyone.. least of all her OH... I am practically spitting chips and next time I see her (Saturday probably) I will be telling her that straight too.. cheeky b!tch... how TF dare she!!! Just shows what she would do to us though IMO...

GGGGgrrrrrrrrrr

It is a good job I am not angry.. just annoyed or I'd be marching on her house right now..

mumofjusttwo

pigpen wrote: »

They should apply to the court for a residency order.. if she needed emergency medical treatment they couldn't authorise it!! Her life could be in danger while they try to contact her dad!! That would be my first concern!! The passport issue is just trivia by conparison!

My friend had to get a residency order for her own 2 children after she split with their dad

They really must sort out the legal side.. without this her dad could turn up at any point and demand she goes with him.. until the DAY of her 17th birthday.. unless of course there is some order to keep him away. Could he not simply organise the forms and sort the passport? For the few minutes it would take.

TBH my sister was a little worried before she died that her ex would want to take my niece and was worried that if she tried to get legal then he may have decided that he did want her IYSWIM.

Our solicitors have asked for the residency order form from our local courts so I think my mum and dad will fill them in as soon as. I take it that they will need to contact him. Problem i am not really sure that we could trust him to fill in the forms etc. he wasn't the most reliable person etc.

pigpen

Wednesdays list in the Hovel!

[strike]WM[/strike] x4
TD.. not needed it yet
[strike]DW[/strike]
BM
[strike]laundry out, folded and away[/strike][strike]
college interview and enrolment 2-5pm[/strike].. cancelled it..
ebay stuff.. posted
[strike]returns arranged on 2 parcels.[/strike]

Minging Monday - Kitchen and Dining Room
Level One
[strike]Clear and wipe kitchen surfaces [/strike]
Level Two
mop floors
[strike]Wipe dining table.. [/strike]
Level Three
Wipe all the windows in these areas!!
Check those washing machine filters and drawers for ickiness!!

Tuesday trashing- Bathroom and Study/Pc Area
Level Two
Clean baths, toilets, don't forget the outside! and sinks
Level Three
Wash your bathroom mats,
Wipe down tiles in bathroom..
Empty and clean out all the upstairs bins!
Extra mission: Take your pick!

1. Wipe the skirtings, door and window frames in these rooms
2. HHI... probably more than HH but I need to shift all the shirts from the kitchen

Wednesday Weirdness- Living Room, Hall and Stairs
Level 1
Vacuum floors and sofas
Level 2
Dusting,
Remove clutter
Level 3
Wipe and water plants
Put all your hotspots in one pile and work your way through it..
Vacuum under furniture you can manage to move without hurting yourself
Extra Mission:

1. Clean windows & any other glass like mirrors, pictures etc
2. Wipe down any paintwork that needs it.
3. Binbag dance.. Get a binbag.. fill it and bin it!!!

pigpen

mumofjusttwo wrote: »

TBH my sister was a little worried before she died that her ex would want to take my niece and was worried that if she tried to get legal then he may have decided that he did want her IYSWIM.

Our solicitors have asked for the residency order form from our local courts so I think my mum and dad will fill them in as soon as. I take it that they will need to contact him. Problem i am not really sure that we could trust him to fill in the forms etc. he wasn't the most reliable person etc.

Yes he has to sign the forms... if he contests it it will go to the judge and it will be decided by the judge who your niece would be better off with.. the fact he barely sees her.. and she has been with them for 2 years would of course go very much in their favour.. it is a 15 minute formality... BUT.. it requires an assessment by SS usually... not always!! Your niece would be a 'ward of court' in the meantime BUT as she is in a safe environment they would leave her where she is.. so there is nothing to worry about there!

If he doesn't fill in the forms for the residency thing it will go to the court and that will go against him.. but they will give him about 3 chances to fill them in.. it can take a while but it IS worth it.

One more issue might be that they will try to force contact between your niece and her dad.. if your parents say he can have access any time it isn't good enough.. they have to make a set time.. eg.. every Saturday 12-5pm.. if he hasn't bothered turning up in the past it is unlikely he will do this.. the judge just likes to make sure all avenues are covered and be assured contact between father and daughter is not being denied.. it is all a formality really an exercise in paperwork. Unless he has been convicted of a violent or 'adult' crime, in which case they can bring this up in court and insist on supervised access, but this is only an issue if he gets difficult.

And if they aren't involved already they will send CSA round to him.. more trouble than it is worth IMO.. but they have to do it apparently.

mumofjusttwo

thanks pigpen.

my niece has lived in my mum house since she was born and so did my sister.

He does turn up but only sees her about twice a year. Most of the time it is a quick phone call. he has 3 children of his own so hope he wouldn't want another.

pigpen

I think if he had wanted her he would have done something about it before now... such as seen her more often.. Do let us know how you all get on.. ((hugs))