Breast feeding, pros and cons

shirlgirl2004

I think you should discuss it in a positive way and point out any benefits your partner isn't already aware of, after that you need to let your partner make her own mind up. If she decides to give it a try then having your support will make a massive difference so well done.

Have the numbers already suggested (NCT, LLL) to hand incase any problems are encountered when trying to bf and then you've done all you can.

I can only add positive comments to those already given. I bf DD1 until she was 2 years 4 months and DD 2 is 16 months and still going strong. I've never had pain so not everyone does it is something that is different for everyone. Pain is usually down to a poor feeding position (can also be known as poor latch) so is solveable with good help and support.

Good luck to both of you. She is a very lucky lady to have such a supportive partner :T

iwannanicerlife

I went through my first pregnancy with a totally open-mind - I wanted to breastfeed in my head, but wasn't sure if I would like it or be able to do it so I also had a sterliser and bottles ready and waiting at home.

I spoke to a Midwife who recommended a breastfeeding workshop at the local hospital which was designed especially for people who were unsure. I thought breastfeeding would be heavily pushed, but it was actually a great experience where we went through pros & cons; met people who were breastfeeding; met people who couldn't breastfeed and even got to practice positions with dolls (sounds mad, but it was really helpful!).

Luckily for me, I was able to breastfeed both my children but not everyone can and I think it's important not to get hung up either way. If it happens great, but if she can't, it's not the end of the world .......

daphne_descends

hurricanewyn wrote: »

I wasn't able to breast feed my two, for various reasons, and I felt so upset about it, because it was something I had really wanted to do. Like someone has already said I felt embarressed taking out the bottles while everyone around me was managing without any problems.
However, there are some cons to breast-feeding that I didn't miss - the things you can't eat and drink, eg chocolate and milk in case it gives baby a bad tummy, pop in case baby gets wind, curry or spicy foods and garlic because the taste transfers over and def. no alcohol. After 40 weeks of being tee-total I was quite looking forward to the odd glass of wine.
But, I would agree without everyone else who has posted - it's definitely the best thing for baby and even if she really, really can't face breastfeeding, exressing the colostrum from the first few days is a great start.

No, no, no, no, no! You can eat what you like when you are breastfeeding, and yes, you can drink. You would have to be pretty slaughtered for your milk to affect your baby.

Breastmilk is made from blood. It is not affected by food.

sooty&sweep wrote: »

Hi

I totally support breastfeeding but I tried to breastfeed both of my children and I wasn't able to for any length of time and I can still remember how upset I was when I wasn't able to.

All I can say is give it a go. Take it one day at a time and see if it works for you.

The health benefits of breast feeding cannot be denied however bottle feeding doesn't have any detrimental health impacts as such.

All the best

Jen

Sorry, but yes, it does have detrimental health impacts. All those benefits to breastfeeding? They are downsides to formula feeding. So if a breastfed baby is 7 times less likely to suffer from stomach problems - a formula fed baby is 7 times more likely to.

Formula companies won't even tell you what is in their milk, or why.

Breastfeeding is the physiologically normal way to feed a baby. Human milk for human babies.

THAT SAID I respect anyone's choice not to - formula milk saves babies lives. It is great that we live in an age of choice - but that choice should be the mother's - not their family's, not their midwives or health visitors, and certainly not the choice of the money-grabbing, unethical formula companies.

melancholly

i was too premature to be breastfed.... and despite all the statistics for low birth weight babies who aren't breastfed, i turned out fine!! overall trends do not all manifest themselves in each individual child (i.e. don't overinterpret any statistics!). there are a whole variety of reasons why mothers can't do it, and a lot of the time it's not about them 'choosing' not to, it's just not possible.

whatever happens to the OP's OH, just support her 100%. i'd be careful about pushing the issue too much now, just in case she can't actually do it for physical reasons after the baby is born. there's enough pressure on mums already and the idea that mothers who can't breastfeed should feel like failures is a real real shame.

hollydays

Do you know why she doesn't seem keen?

foreversomeday

I think the main "cons" of breastfeeding are dependent on the personal feelings of the parents.

1. That it hurts.
The main reason for BF hurting is an incorrect latch or baby having tongue-tie, both of these should be able to be sorted out by a breastfeeding counsellor however if it doesn't help, see another one.

2. That it ruins your boobs.
There's no way to predict in advance whether BF will change your boobs, but a properly supportive bra is a must so she'll need to be fitted for one at about 38 weeks pregnant. If she's not sure whether she wants to continue I would just buy one and see how it goes.

3. That it leaks everywhere and is embarrassing/affects sex.
It does leak, but it settles down after the first few weeks (I was worried that sex would be extra messy the whole time I was BF but have been told this is not the case!) and breast pads soak up mess so you don't get marks on your top. You can get disposable ones or washable ones. I'll probably use both so that there are spares in the house! Also if she chooses not to BF the milk will likely leak in the last few weeks of pregnancy and the first weeks after birth too so you will still need some breast pads.

4. That it's embarrassing or dirty to be doing in public.
This is down to personal choice. If she feels uncomfortable, most places have a "mother and baby room" where she can go for privacy, although often this is combined with a baby changing room and/or a toilet, so might not be an attractive option. Other ways of being discreet are feeding under a shawl, cardigan or poncho, or feeding in a sling, if you can get the hang of that, as people can't usually tell.

5. That the father will feel left out or that there is too much pressure on the mother.
Again this is a personal decision but there are many ways to get around it - you could mixed feed (do some formula feeds each day) or express milk for Dad to feed, but bear in mind that some babies once they have had a bottle are reluctant to feed from the breast. You can get special breastfeeding friendly bottles but again some babies will still have a preference. It's best to leave any bottles or dummies until after 6 weeks or so to reduce the risk of baby developing a preference. Another thing you could to to take the pressure off is declare a different activity as "yours" - a popular one is bathtime, and be helpful to Mum if baby likes feeding for a long time. Bring her drinks etc, or cook dinner, or do a job like putting the washing on.

6. That you can't go out and you are "tied" to the baby.
Personal preference again. You could express or leave formula for Dad or a babysitter if Mum wanted a night or day out, although again it's best to wait until after the first 6 weeks - but you'll probably be too tired and overprotective to want to go out in the first 6 weeks anyway.

7. That you can't eat certain foods/take medication.
I think this seems to depend which doctor you speak to! The professionals recommend BF though even if Mum smokes, so it must be good even if some chemicals and toxins are getting through. My view on this is be sensible, ask the pharmacist or doctor if any medicine is safe before taking it, and keep an eye on the baby relating to what you are eating. Some research has even said now that eating a varied diet while BF helps reduce allergies and encourages children not to be fussy eaters.

8. That breastfeeding takes hours and you can't get anything done.
This is one of those things it's impossible to predict. Some babies will feed for an hour or more every 2 hours, others will feed for 15-20 minutes every 3-4 hours. Most babies are somewhere in the middle. The comparison to formula is that once you have made up the bottle, the actual feed takes 15 minutes, burp the baby and it is done for the next 3-4 hours. Of course then you have the extra time taken to sterilise bottles, make up the feeds etc. If you do have a marathon feeding baby, you can learn to BF in a sling so that you can get on with other things, learn to feed lying down so you can sleep, (Keep duvets away, and don't do this if you're overweight, drunk, you smoke or are on medication which makes you drowsy. It is more dangerous to fall asleep on a sofa/chair with baby though.) and most babies grow out of the marathon feeding stage but it can be hard work while they are in it.

9. That formula fed babies sleep through the night quicker.
This one is supposedly true, but it probably depends on the baby, and if you master feeding lying down it's not so much hassle to feed in the night, anyway. You can have baby's cot next to the bed so you hardly have to wake up to feed them, whereas making up a bottle requires waking up a bit more. (My preference is to wake up as little as possible - once I have got up I can rarely get back to sleep.) This one depends on whether you think it's important to get the baby sleeping through the night as early as possible or whether you're prepared to sleep around the baby for a while. Dad may have to relocate to another room if he's being woken in the night and needs to get up for work, though, but your baby/mother night feeding relationship might be quiet enough not to disturb you.

10. That your baby won't put on weight fast enough.
BF babies don't gain weight as fast as formula fed babies and although this is supposedly well known doctors and health visitors can make new mums feel bad about this as though they are failing. If you don't want to mixed feed it's not a good idea to give the baby a "top up" of formula milk in the early weeks because it can affect supply, which leads to more problems. If there is a genuine supply issue you can take supplements to help boost it. All babies' weights catch up eventually.

Just a note - I'm still pregnant with my first baby so I know some people won't take my advice seriously, but it's what I've picked up from doing extensive research. I don't have any experience either way so I think that makes me unbiased although I do plan on breastfeeding my baby. I think if you really want to do it you have to be determined and make sure you have access to information and support in case it is difficult, but my advice to you if you are unsure is to try it for a few days and see how you feel - some people take to it quite naturally.

Obviously there are some downsides but in my opinion the benefits (cost, health, convenience, uninterrupted cuddles!) far far outweigh the negative aspects and that is why I want to do it. It's your (partner's) personal choice at the end of the day and up to you and her to decide. But good on you for being supportive. :T

Oh, and I'd recommend you as the Dad go to http://www.hotmilklingerie.co.nz//uk after she has been measured and pick out something nice as a surprise, which will build her confidence and reassure her that you still find her attractive. Or have a look at it together to show her BF mums can still be sexy!

galvanizersbaby

Great post foreversomeday :T in my opinion you are spot on - good luck with bf your baby x

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

I second the hotmilk website! Great suggestion.

It's often said that formula helps babies to sleep; in some it does, others it doesn't. But there are two points to consider there:

1) They'll be sleeping for longer because formula is harder to digest.
2) Breastmilk is designed to be taken little and often so that baby wakes regularly for it. By waking regularly, they don't go into too deep a sleep; this is nature's safeguard against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). So sleeping right through is. safety speaking, actually rather undesirable in this sense!

BernadetteN

melancholly wrote: »

i was too premature to be breastfed.... and despite all the statistics for low birth weight babies who aren't breastfed, i turned out fine!! overall trends do not all manifest themselves in each individual child (i.e. don't overinterpret any statistics!). there are a whole variety of reasons why mothers can't do it, and a lot of the time it's not about them 'choosing' not to, it's just not possible.

Times have changed. I know a set of twins now aged 12 who were born at 22 and 24 weeks who were "breastfed" with expressed milk, but don't rely on anectdotal evidence such as this, but do rely on the fact that it's normal practice now for premature babies to receive their mother's milk, with the mum expressing in a rather undignified manner.

Mrs_Cupier

I would thoroughly support BF, if that's what suits your family. My first child was prem and had to be fed expressed milk through a tube for a week, until he was big enough to suck; even then, it took us a week to establish feeding and he had to be topped up with expressed milk in between feeds because the sucking made him so tired. My second established well, but was hospitalised between 4 and 9 weeks and so had to be fed expressed milk in that time. My youngest latched on when I wasn't looking shortly after she was born!

Do you know what your partner's concerns are? Some people, I know, just hate the idea of the mechanics of breastfeeding, and if that's the case then the experience itself wont change her mind. Equally, though, try to support her to try - the perceived 'convenience' of bottles is often illusory. I have a friend who refused to breastfeed twins because her first child had been a world-class faffer-about, taking over an hour to feed every time. It still took her over an hour to feed the twins every time with a bottle.

Above all, though, well done for thinking about this in advance and for trying to support her. Just let her make the decision.