Breast feeding, pros and cons

onlyroz

While the final decision should be with mum, I think that dad has a right to express an opinion about it - makes a change from some men I know who think the whole thing is "disgusting".

I breast-fed my boy for 7 months, and at times I found it difficult, but I fully intend to breastfeed number 2. I would urge all mothers to at least try it it, because all the evidence suggests it's much better for the babies. If you genuinely can't then you shouldn't be made to feel guilty, but I don't think it's acceptable to not even try.

As for having to restrict your diet - I don't agree. If we couldn't eat curries when breastfeeding, how would women in India cope? I had a vindaloo two days after giving birth - maybe that's why my boy now likes his spicy food. As for alcohol and breastfeeding, I think a drink every few days is fine. Certainly a smaller risk than drinking in pregnancy. And as for saggy boobs when you stop feeding, that's a possibility, but seems a petty reason for not doing it when you consider the benefit to the baby.

churchrat

hello
congrats on the baby, its a real life-changer!!!
I bf all 3 of mine, but the last one was a little sod and I only fed him for a couple of months. (don't mean I then didn't feed him, just switched to bottles, but in my heart....) for some reason feeding him really hurt and I was sore all of the time, which didn't happen with the other 2. As for diet, my cousins wife was from Calcutta and she and all her female relations go on a "restricted" diet when bf. They have hardly any spicy food and watch what they eat.
good luck with whatever you both decide, but make sure its something you WANT to do, not something you feel you SHOULD do.

inkie

I'm a MW and I breast fed both mine until about 12 months. I cannot think of any cons - I didn't experience any anyway. Neither would take EBM in a bottle, and so were exclusively breastfed which was a bit restricting as I had to be around all the time, or out for short amounts of time - but I was happy to do that, as I saw it as an investment in my children's health. No roblems with BF in public - thats what breasts are for afterall.
It was a wonderful time, and would not have swapped it for the world.

LilMissEmmylou

re the dad feeding - i had a breast pump and expressed and froze milk to make up a stash. This left room for dad to feed, or for me to go out and grannys/nannys etc to do the feel while they looked after DD.

I think im right in saying it also helps to reduce the chance of a woman getting a particular cancer (though i forget which one).

I fed DD for 14 months and although it was hard to start with, it made life so much easier in the long run

belfastgirl23

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

The other question is, is there anything YOU can offer to do as an incentive? Her worries might be around being tied to feeding all the time but also trying to do all the other stuff around the house that needs done. I wonder if you tell her that you view feeding the baby as her full time job so when you get home from work (I know I'm making assumptions here) you are in charge of everything else? It might help her to feel that there's a shared responsiblity and that she isn't just taking on another huge responsibility on top of those she already has.

Not sure what you mean here BelfastGirl do you mean the OP should use doing the house hold chores as an incentive for mum to breastfeed? - what happens if she tries and fails? - does he retract the offer?
The incentive for breastfeeding is a healthy baby - I see your thought process behind this suggestion but I am not sure that it is appropriate if I have interpreted it correctly?

To me the health arguments are so unequivocal that they don't need stated. I'm assuming that the OP's partner knows them already so what I was trying to get at is that he should look at why she's ambivalent about bf the baby. One of the issues might be that only she can feed the baby. So she might be worried about being unsupported or about being left with everything after the baby is born? What I was getting at was that he should make it clear in whatever way is appropriate for them that he will be involved and he will recognise that bf the baby is making a major contribution to the household and that he will step up his contributions in other areas since he won't be able to be involved in the feeding. Maybe I put it a bit clumsily though....

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

I think the best thing you can do for your partner is to give her the confidence that she will be able to breastfeed. With the right support, only a tiny percentage (we're talking 2%) "cannot" - but others run into problems, and that's why you need a breastfeeding counsellor on hand. You also need to really want to do it as some sheer bloody mindedness may be required. The first week or so could be rocky. Seek the support and nine times out of ten, you can keep going.

In Series 6 of Scrubs, there's a great episode where Carla gives birth and struggles with breastfeeding, but Turk really supports her to get the help she needs. If you can get hold of a DVD (or even have a nose on youtube), this could be a good way to bring up the subject with your girlfriend on a positive note.

Here are some websites you both might find useful:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/index.html - a wealth of breastfeeding knowledge.
http://www.laleche.org.uk/pages/groups/county_list.htm - an index for La Leche League groups and breastfeeding counsellors; I'd go with these guys before NCT.
http://www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/helplines - phone number for NCT BF support helpline; you don't always have to wait for support to arrive, you can get it on the phone and online too.

And here are some links about fathers and breastfeeding:
http://www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/articles/view/65
http://www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/publications/view/37 (some good pros and cons on that one).

Best of luck reaching a decision.

memorygirl

hurricanewyn wrote: »

IHowever, there are some cons to breast-feeding that I didn't miss - the things you can't eat and drink, eg chocolate and milk in case it gives baby a bad tummy, pop in case baby gets wind, curry or spicy foods and garlic because the taste transfers over and def. no alcohol. After 40 weeks of being tee-total I was quite looking forward to the odd glass of wine.quote]

OMG!! I'm BF my second and I've never heard of any of this. Thing is I eat chocolate, drink milk - and fizzy pop, eat Indian food at least 3 times per week and enjoy the odd glass or two of wine. Guess my DS's must have bellies like zinc bath-tubs:rotfl:

Mind you I have noticed if I've eated raw garlic it does make his baby farts rather loud and proud:D

Nice thing about BF is that as soon as I've fed the wee one in the night I am out like a light again - apparently good ole Mother Nature secretes a hormone that sends you right on back to sleep again. As a Single Mom - every second of sleep is precious. Sorry to report it doesn't work for Dads though:p

Mainly though - think I'm just too lazy to faff around with all the bottles n sterilising everything. For me BF was the path of least resistance.

Memorygirl

charlenes_2

Breast feeding is not for everyone and I personally had a great time feeding my little one but then I feel my partner missed out in a lot for the first six weeks my wee one never stopped feeding so i had no time to express andgive dad a hand but oh its a hard one and after you get over thoose first six weeksit is so easy just to get out and about no bottles being able to feed anywere and again that is another thing how would your partner feel feeding in public obviously discreetly lol but some ladies dont like it so that would then hinder a lot of pros and cons but comes down to personell preferance and of course if baby takes to it

onlyroz

Re feeding in public - I fed bubba in pubs, cafes and restaurants, and either nobody noticed or everyone was too polite to comment. If you're wearing the right clothing then you can't see anything - the only time you've got a chance of flashing a boob is when (s)he is latching on, and you can usually avoid that with the help of a jacket or cardigan if it bothers you.

I seem to remember that my brother was the person the most bothered about me breastfeeding infront of him (I remember a particularly eventful car journey around Greenwich, where we were all keeping an eye out for parking spaces, and I began pointing directions just as baby popped off - bro found that quite distracting), but everyone else was fine, even my aged bigotted father-in-law.

squashy

OP, I think it is really fantastic that you are so supportive. I have really appreciated my husband's support with my breastfeeding. I think it is all to easy for dads to reach for the bottle in desperation to help mum out when she is shattered, which at the time might seem like a great idea but in the long run would just create more problems (nipple confusion etc).

There is a list as long as your arm about the benefits, chances are you will have a smarter kid with less chance of getting excema, having obesity problems or digestive diseases, mum is less susceptible to cancers of the uterus and the risk of SIDS/cot death is greatly reduced. :-)

I think you are doing the right thing in finding out, as artificial milk companies have heuuuge marketing budgets and can beam into your living room every night with claims that their new formulation is "closer to breastmilk than ever before". Sadly there isn't really anyone to compete against this, although there are a couple of amazing community/nhs led campaigns like this one http://www.beastar.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/bwd.jpg
https://www.beastar.org.uk

For me though, breastfeeding is about what is normal and instinctive for me to do, and I just like it that baby comes wherever with me without the need for a big bag of feeding paraphernalia.