Guess whose back!? The Return Diary

CAFCGirl

I am excited, although and this may sound a bit weird and maybe its because of yesterday I suddenly dont feel at all pregnant.

Ive completely stopped feeling sick, my lady bumps (sorry TMI) arent sore anymore and my gut paunch that I had going on has now returned to being perfectly flat (i know, i shouldnt complain on that one really)

But I just dont emotionally feel pregnant now, maybe ive just over worried myself but I had felt a weird kinda connection to it before, and now all my symptons have gone, i guess i feel a bit empty... the symptoms at least made me feel like something was going on...

Oh I dont know maybe im talking out my !!!!! but something emotionally doesnt feel right. Physically its no different to how it was monday, or tuesday etc....

OH is trying his best to keep me upbeat but Ive just got this really weird sense that the baby wont b there on thursday and that scares me to death...

bella2121

awww bless i went through a similar thing hun, just keep your chin up and hope for the best xx

daphne_descends

Hi CAFC, that all sounds completely normal to me! I was absolutely convinced that I'd go for the scan... and there'd be nothing there... and they'd think I'd lied, blah blah blah - don't worry I think everyone gets a bit of that anxiety as the scan is such a milestone - things really get rolling after 12 weeks, time flies and suddenly you're having loads of appointments and getting too big for normal clothes... etc etc. It is completely reasonable to get a bit weird about it leading up to that

The sickness ending - well that tends to happen around now (unless you're unlucky) so it just all adds together and you start thinking 'whhaaat?' - you'll be fine xxx

CAFCGirl

Thanks girls.

I'm trying to be more positive now, and spent my awake moments in bed last night talking to the bean

Daphne I know deep down you're right and everyone wonders about the what if's, but I just dont wanna hear those words of no heartbeat..... but as OH keeps telling me, I've done everything I could to give the bean the best possible start and sometimes these things arent meant to be but I cant blame myself, or question anything till whatever happens on thursday happens.
Just need to shake off the weirdness and be positive....
P.S Love your signature! xx

Only a short day at work 2day which helps and then a day off tomorrow. Need to try and organise some staff for my shop on thursday so that I can get to scan.
Have night out with work lot on tuesday as well so that should help take my mind off it i think...

Another thing Ive read about is this whole £60 tax rebate people are getting in their sept pay packets?! I'm tryng to figure out if I would get it or now.
If I do, along with my new wage increase, I should have a nice little sum to throw at I.F credit card...but knowing my luck I wont be getting it!

daphne_descends

Repeat this mantra: 'Everything will be fine' The week before my 12 week scan, I spent the Saturday morning in bed literally sobbing my heart out, scared that something had happened... I think part of it is that it's about now that the pregnancy becomes 'real' and you are just getting over the shock - so it's natural to be scared of it being 'taken away'. Don't forget those pregnancy hormones, too! They have a lot to answer for :rolleyes:

Hope your day at work goes quickly

CAFCGirl

I'm a very lucky boss who has very lovely staff.

I asked one of the girls if she could come in as I could do with more sleep and two of them are working the day for me so I've been able to come home.

Im a very lucky woman to have that kind of support.

So im back at home sitting up on the bed typing away as DH packs up last ebay bit to send tomorrow.

I do agree Daphne, Ive sat here and cried for 15 minutes with DH. Every little thing, every twinge, every "sense" is over amplified in my head and I cant keep my rational head on for 5 minutes!

DH keeps saying we just need to get to thursday, and handle whatever happens then... then.
Thankgod for having a non emotional man around at times like these.

bella2121

hi cafc, hope everythings ok and hop you enjoyed your days off x

bella2121

hi cafc, hope everythings ok and hope you enjoyed your days off x

CAFCGirl

Been well crap and not updated for ages!

Kinda needed a bit of time (well a day or so LOL) aay from my own diary as I was working myself up a bit.
I'm still so unbelievably nervous about our scan and have had some horrible dreams about things. Been getting twinges in my stomach and rushing to the loo every half an hour to check on things. Have had no more blood but have had an increase in other "womanly fluids" (Sorry TMI) which again has freaked me out but then I think everything will just because its all new, and could all mean "something or nothing"....

DH has been really good with me and looked things up and tried to be supportive which I am really grateful for. I just wanna get the scan and hear the heartbeat/see it, and then i'll relax.

Had our staff night out last night which was nice, cost £7 each in the end so not bad.
DH has started the job, 2 days in and he doesnt really like it, but he's holding out and doing well and it was never going to be a career choice. Hes trying to re-join the police tomorrow and see about getting a different area if possible, as he did really love the job just his superior treated him really badly.
Plus will mean better money for when im off as well!

Not much to report money wise, have to pay an old utility bill of £100 which I knew was coming, just needed the letter with the payment options. got the money set aside so no great shakes.
Been good with the spending and got 2 days off now so hopefully will check back tomorrow with some good news xx

Purpleroses

will keep everything crossed for you hun xx