dementia and re inforcement

Savvy_Sue

What's frustrating is when the problems are blamed on all these things without any apparent effort going into solving them ... but I think that's a general 'problem' with the complaints of old age, not specific to confusion.

Ted_Hutchinson

May I suggest that people who are dealing with elderly relatives study all the information at Dr McCleary's Brain Trust Program website he is an expert in brain nutrition and is able to explain in relatively simple terms what is happening in various chronic brain conditions.
His book is worth reading as that sets out the foods/supplements that may help and provides some practical ideas that may slow progression.
Obviously in most of the cases in this thread things have gone too far but other readers may just be at the stage where dietary intervention could help the situation.
Our skins ability to create Vitamin D3 deteriorates rapidly as we age yet correction of 25(OH)D status is almost never done in nursing homes and when it is the form Vitamin D2 Ergocalciferol least well used by elderly people (in fact probably totally ineffective in many cases) is the only prescribable form. This may be a case where your health professionals are less able to help correct the situation than you are.

soolin

I suppose one problem that the clinicians have is that different people seem to have different symptoms. My Dad for instance has no means of understanding the current world at all, he knows where he gets his food and he knows th efaces of people around him but that is about it. On a bad day he forgets he needs the toilet and is surprised when someone finds him wet , he forgets how to walk and has to be shown again and he also can no longer write or hold a pen except for one brief moment last month when he drew a fire engine in perfect perspective.

I just go and sit with him sometimes, he is no longer fond of physical contact so I am careful about hugging him now as it distresses him. He will allow me to hol dhis hand sometimes and he will allow me to kiss him hello and goodbye sometimes, occasionally though he will ask me 'are you my mother' or 'who are you again' but usually he doesn't really mind who I am. It's as though he is a child again, he loves sweets and always looks hopefully at my bag when I go in. The funny thing was he has lost his manners..I bought him a shirt for fathers day and he refused to take it as he didn't like and asked if he could have something else instead.

treliac

soolin wrote: »

I suppose one problem that the clinicians have is that different people seem to have different symptoms. My Dad for instance has no means of understanding the current world at all, he knows where he gets his food and he knows th efaces of people around him but that is about it. On a bad day he forgets he needs the toilet and is surprised when someone finds him wet , he forgets how to walk and has to be shown again and he also can no longer write or hold a pen except for one brief moment last month when he drew a fire engine in perfect perspective.

I just go and sit with him sometimes, he is no longer fond of physical contact so I am careful about hugging him now as it distresses him. He will allow me to hol dhis hand sometimes and he will allow me to kiss him hello and goodbye sometimes, occasionally though he will ask me 'are you my mother' or 'who are you again' but usually he doesn't really mind who I am. It's as though he is a child again, he loves sweets and always looks hopefully at my bag when I go in. The funny thing was he has lost his manners..I bought him a shirt for fathers day and he refused to take it as he didn't like and asked if he could have something else instead.

You are being loving, gentle, kind and respectful to him. You give him your time and are thoughtful and considerate. There's no more you can do and, in that respect, he's a lucky gentleman.

soolin

I really shouldn't post on here, I get so weepy I have to log out and go and have a bit of a quiet think. It isn't just me is it who stands there sometimes and wants to scream and shout and say 'give me back my dad'.

seven-day-weekend

Thinking of you Soolin. My sister had Alzheimers for over twenty years until she died two years ago. It is very distressing, I know how you feel.

You're doing the right thing, just loving your dad and meeting him where he's at.

God bless you.

Savvy_Sue

soolin wrote: »

I really shouldn't post on here, I get so weepy I have to log out and go and have a bit of a quiet think. It isn't just me is it who stands there sometimes and wants to scream and shout and say 'give me back my dad'.

No soolin, it is NOT just you, and that is an entirely understandable and normal reaction.

My friend's mum kept asking for her, when she was there, and it was SO hard that Mum no longer knew her.

Big hugs ...

treliac

soolin wrote: »

I really shouldn't post on here, I get so weepy I have to log out and go and have a bit of a quiet think. It isn't just me is it who stands there sometimes and wants to scream and shout and say 'give me back my dad'.

And isn't it so much worse for you than for your dad? If he seems to be mostly content and comfortable with friendly caring people around him then, hopefully, life is quite pleasant and he doesn't have to cope with the misery and anxiety that many people face in our society.

Having had three relatives who suffered from dementia at the end of their lives, I would say that it's generally harder for those who love them and have to watch them changing and becoming different people. They would not want you to suffer and I'm sure your dad would only wish for your happiness.

Please be gentle with yourself.

treliac x

polomint_2

soolin wrote: »

I really shouldn't post on here, I get so weepy I have to log out and go and have a bit of a quiet think. It isn't just me is it who stands there sometimes and wants to scream and shout and say 'give me back my dad'.

Reading this post from the beginning It touched my heart.

I feel for you and for your dad.

But it is evident that sometimes we need to reach out to someone whom we dont know but whom we can let out our feelings to. It helps us to be able to go back and cope with the upsetting situations we find ourselves in.

This site is great for so many reasons both money saving and for support in our lives in reguards to other situations.

We may not be able to help you physically but maybe emotionally we can be here for you.

In reguards to your original question..I do feel in the later stages there is no benifit to the person whom is suffering for them to "re-live" over and over again that the situation remebered is remembered wrongly. It is upsetting for all concerned.

Tracey

shokadelika

aurora_borealis wrote: »

If anyone's got any ideas on how to stop my dad getting dressed and up at 2am, 3am, 4am I'd be very grateful .... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It is called "sundowning" http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&hs=Him&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=alzheimer%27s+sundowning&spell=1

Alz/ Demetia patients loose track of time and because they tend to not spend a lot of hours outside in bright sunshine their body clock or "melatonin" production goes into reverse we used to have had great problems with this with our parent and after literally hours and hours of research we started giving him 1.5mg of melatonin in evening tea or whatever, sound sleep no disruptive nights and best of all no grogginess the next day in fact we all use melatonin for sleep disturbances now it is prescribed on the NHS for over active kids but our doctor could not see the benefit so refused even though We saw GREAT benefits ie at least our parent and the rest of the family are getting a good nights sleep.

The cheapeast place we found was here as before that we had to import it from America it is a tasteless white powder.



Worth a try it works if you do a search here on MSE you will see mealtonin mentioned a few times.