help parnoid boyfriend

Reggie_Rebel

He's not paranoid, he's a violent drug addict, very rarely do they change

fkelanne

i cant stop thinking about what i should do. ive just been to see a house to rent. and like it.
If i do go he wont be able to take the drugs as he will have his morgate on his own and the loans,
I pay £700 a month to his debt, its not even in my name. So i wont get anythink from the house.
IM goin to go and put my bond down 2day. and pay the months rent 2moro. i could be in by the weekend.
He knows iv been looking he is ok through the week. But if i go he might relise what hes lost. and i might help him get help.
I do love him, but weekend are full of hate.
Plus i dont what my sons girlfriends goin through what im goin through. its not fair on them just because i didnt have the back bone to go.
thanks for all your help. and giving me my voice back!!!

Paparika

fkelanne wrote: »

iv asked him and he always says he will but them the weekend comes. He doesnt think he has a problem.
my mam and dad think its off the drink.
i no you are right in me leaving him but i just cant and i really dont no y! i think im just going to have to put the money down on another house and them ill have to go.
its like walking on egg shells when hes around.

My ex was like yours, paranoid, a bully and used me as a punch bag, but then i woke up and realised he had no right to hit me and treat me this way.

If you won't leave, then think what this is doing to your children!

This next bit is going to sound evil and sorry to say it..

Don't be selfish and keep thinking about yourself, you know he's not going to sort himself out, think of your children and how it effects them, they may seem fine now but as they get older they will see this as the norm, it's not fair on them or you.

Perhaps once you have left he will sort himself out, but right now he has everything on a plate so he can't see why he should



sorry again but you need to wake up hun, before he kills you or your children

belfastgirl23

fkelanne wrote: »

i cant stop thinking about what i should do. ive just been to see a house to rent. and like it.
If i do go he wont be able to take the drugs as he will have his morgate on his own and the loans,
I pay £700 a month to his debt, its not even in my name. So i wont get anythink from the house.
IM goin to go and put my bond down 2day. and pay the months rent 2moro. i could be in by the weekend.
He knows iv been looking he is ok through the week. But if i go he might relise what hes lost. and i might help him get help.
I do love him, but weekend are full of hate.
Plus i dont what my sons girlfriends goin through what im goin through. its not fair on them just because i didnt have the back bone to go.
thanks for all your help. and giving me my voice back!!!

Good for you!! I think you'd already realised what paparika said

DKLS

Do you have any male friends/family members on hand to help with the move?

Bexbox2

You can do it, be strong and just keep thinking about your children and thier future...

Good luck and remember you've done nothing wrong xxx

Chollita

Poor love, the drugs are no excuse, a 'lovely' guy would not do this to you under any circumstances, GET OUT NOW and take your children away from this situation.

ameliarate

Don't stop to think just take your children and go and build a new and happy life for yourselves. The fact that he has hit you should be enough to make you go never mind the drug taking.
The affect on the children of the violence will be far greater than you can think and living in an atmosphere of tension all the time is not good for them.
It sounds as though you have plenty of support so go. Perhaps the shock will make him get the help he needs. People can change, they can get off the drugs but sometimes they have to hit rock bottom before they realise they want to and until they want to they wont! As long as you stay and put up with it you are in effect "enabling" him to do what he wants and the older your kids get the more they will see and possibly emulate in the future.

I really hope it all works out well for you but only you can make that happen. Good luck.

Loretta

fkelanne wrote: »

i cant stop thinking about what i should do. ive just been to see a house to rent. and like it.
If i do go he wont be able to take the drugs as he will have his morgate on his own and the loans,
I pay £700 a month to his debt, its not even in my name. So i wont get anythink from the house.
IM goin to go and put my bond down 2day. and pay the months rent 2moro. i could be in by the weekend.
He knows iv been looking he is ok through the week. But if i go he might relise what hes lost. and i might help him get help.
I do love him, but weekend are full of hate.
Plus i dont what my sons girlfriends goin through what im goin through. its not fair on them just because i didnt have the back bone to go.
thanks for all your help. and giving me my voice back!!!

You are wrong, he will keep taking the drugs he just won't pay the mortgage. Plan you money now for leaving, stop paying his debt and don't pay anything at all, any money you have keep for your escape

kizzykizzywizzy

What an awful situation to be in, my heart goes out to you & your children.
Good Luck, no-one deserves to be treated the way he's treating you, hope he comes to his senses & sorts himself out.