me my daughter and the boyfriend HELP!

Gingham_Ribbon

millies wrote: »

i have aired my views and concerns about my daughter partner but all she says is that she is scared which i do understand

i'm very worried about the amount off stress he is causing her
at the moment and how P N D may set in

There's your answer. She HAS to stay with you. She can't be pressured or bullied into being away from the support you can give her and her baby. If she is genuinely frightened of him, she cannot move in with him. If he won't move in with you then he'll have to accept seeing the baby when visiting can be arranged, which must be done unless there is evidence that he will mistreat the baby. And he needs to arrange to pay maintenance.

Janepig

millies wrote: »

the main problem is now he has now said that he wants her
to go straight to hes house from the hospital after the baby born
my daughter does not get on with hes mother, also my daughter
is worried about the way her partner is going to treat her if she did
go and stay with him.

Just that bit, never mind the rest, makes me wonder what the bloody hell she's doing with him? She hasn't even been with him a year yet and it hardly sounds like a stable environment in which to bring a child!! Okay, so she's tied to him for the next 18 years or so now because he's the father of her child, and regardless of how things are between them, he has to be allowed to see his child, but why on earth is she still in this relationship? And I don't mean to be hurtful, but having two "mothers in law" who don't like the other partner doesn't help things I'm sure. But then I guess that's bound to happen when you're seeing your daughter upset over their arguments and so on, but then causes bad feeling between you and him when they are "back to normal". And it's natural for any mum not to be encouraging of someone who upsets one of their children so much. However, I think you need to be supportive of her in her impending new role as a mum, but leave her to manage this (doomed imo) relationship by herself.

Jxx

globalds

I smell a Troll ...

millies_2

sorry! i'm not a troll just a very concerned mum needing some advice for my daughter

thats all and nothing else

Errata

Report him to the domestic abuse team. That'll put a stop to his bullying, and probably his job as well. Shame. Meanwhile, teach your daughter how to take responsibility for her fertility and contraception or you could easily have two grandchildren by this time next year.

millies_2

what is the point in trying to seek advice from this board if i get comments from members like errata i'm not asking you to give me advice on contraception for my daughter what is done is done
i was just seeking advice on the current situation.

Janepig

millies wrote: »

what is the point in trying to seek advice from this board if i get comments from members like errata i'm not asking you to give me advice on contraception for my daughter what is done is done
i was just seeking advice on the current situation.

But theres no harm in having a word with her about it because Errata is right, she could end up shelling them like peas - falling pregnant after a month in a relationship with a dodgy geezer is hardly the action of a responsible adult - apart from anything else she's leaving herself open to goodness knows what infections by having unprotected sex with someone she hardly knows. If the baby is due imminently then this is something she's going to have to consider fairly soon, particularly if she's going to continue her relationship with him.

Jxx

millies_2

like i said contraception is not the issue what comes after the birth regarding contraception it has been already thought about and talked about and decided.

i know it's her life and only she can decide what happends in the future

i can only be there for her as long as she wants me to be.

i want to support her and give the right advice

but there are times i don't know what else i can say or do to help her
and that is why i came on here.this whole situation breaks my heart
and i supose i was just looking for a little support.

i would just like to say thank you to those who has given there advice

thank you

journ

millies wrote: »

like i said contraception is not the issue what comes after the birth regarding contraception it has been already thought about and talked about and decided.

i know it's her life and only she can decide what happends in the future

i can only be there for her as long as she wants me to be.

i want to support her and give the right advice

but there are times i don't know what else i can say or do to help her
and that is why i came on here.this whole situation breaks my heart
and i supose i was just looking for a little support.

i would just like to say thank you to those who has given there advice

thank you

I for one would give you and your daughter support because i think she wants to leave him but she is afraid and when you are afraid of someone you just don't know where to turn
You are a great mum and I'm so pleased she can talk to you
Take care Hun.

millies_2

rhank you journ