Depression Support Thread

Diamond78

Everyone is quite tonight, hope everything is well and good with you all.

Am watching beatle juice then going to try and have an early night.

night everyone and big hugs to you all.xx

alba37

Night night Diamond, night night everyone.

It is very quiet!

Sleep well,

A x

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Hoping you're all in fine fettle this morning.
Ah yes, the start of yet another week - happens every 7 days y'know!:D And we have the appearance of some sunshine here in Warwickshire too!;)

Tiffy hugs to all going out to work today ...to those who are poorly or who have loved ones that are poorly, to those who are struggling, anyone with appointments, meetings, assessments, counselling, treatments and to anyone who needs one for whatever reason.
Sometimes it's just nice to get a hug.;) Oh and bon voyageeeee to anyone off on their holidays - you lucky things!:dance:


On a more serious note, I'd just like to remind everyone that the schools have now officially released the nation's offspring for the summer holidays.:eek:
Please be prepared for whining, shouting, monosyllabic grunts, demands for money and moodiness as they go on the prowl in their packs...and that's just the parents! All adults should never go out in less than groups of three and, if possible, armed with tasers.:D

......

Well, as you've all obviously already bounced off with the joys of whatever you have planned for today, I'm locking up the smartie cupboard. I'm off to work!:p

...(see, I told you - catnapping is a career!;) )...

Safe journeys guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi sou!:hello:
How are you, hun? Let's have a look here...

sou wrote:

I hope no one minds me posting here but I'm wanting some advice on how I can support a friend that I'm concerned about.
We are more friendly than friends but she has involved some mutual friends in a dodgy investment and they have lost their money (she thought and still does think that it is just bad luck and the investment went wrong even though it is fairly obvious it was dodgy). No one blames her as she had as much info as them but as she introduced the idea to them she is devastated. She has made a few comments via email about her life insurance not being enough to pay back everyone but she is determined to spend her life trying to pay back the money to her friends.

You are more than welcome to post here, sou.Thanks for posting about your friend hun. This is a sad situation for all involved and I can understand why your friend feels so upset.
Only you know your friend well enough to judge whether her comments regarding life insurance are part of her humour and a way of her trying to cope and express just how seriously she regrets what's happened. She obviously feels responsible, but this may be misplaced as you say she had as much information as the other investors did, whether it was dodgy or not. Imho, it's important for your friend to see this situation in its true perspective. It's nice that she cares so much about her friends, but it's not realistic of her to expect to be able to pay everyone back over her lifetime. No matter how much she encouraged the idea of the investment, the final decision lay with the people who decided to invest. It was their choice.
How are your mutual friends reacting? Do they know how bad she feels about all of this?

sou wrote:

I only have email contact with her and due to problems with shift work have no way of contacting her by phone, we live some way apart. Basically we meet up a few times a year when we have a big get together. I made an effort to send her a nice friendly email as I was very worried about her remarks about her life insurance and how much of her emails are about how guilty she feels about the money. Frankly, I was given the brush off although in a very nice way . She told me that she appreciated the thoughts but prefers to talk rather than type (as we're never around to talk at the same time that is impossible).
I'm still really concerned about her - should I respect her wishes, which is what I would normally do, or ignore them and just keep emailing her chatty little notes to try and keep her mind off of her woes?

Am I right in thinking that this is a recent event? Her feelings could be quite raw at the moment sou, and she could still be getting over the shock of the results herself. The positive thing is that she is communicating with you and I'm sure she values you as a friend. If she feels very guilty, she may not feel like talking about it hunnie, especially in person. I think the best thing you can do for her is to let her know that no-one blames her, that you're there for her any time she may need to 'talk' and that this hasn't changed your friendship.

If she has been able to express her wishes angel, then I think you have to respect them. Maybe send her another email with the above sentiments, without making a big fuss over it, and then carry on in the same way that you always have been with her. It's no help to you hun I know, but you're pretty much going to have to play this one by ear. If she wants to talk about it, then at least you'll have kept the communication channels open for her to do so - let her talk if and/or when she's ready to do so. I don't know how you're friends have reacted to her, but it might be nice if they could send her a message saying they don't blame her, if that is the case.
She may now be at the point where she's trying to lay the subject to rest and wants things to return to normality. Sometimes it's a case of the least said, the soonest mended.;)

sou wrote:

I honestly feel she is in at least a moderate, if not worse depression and was hoping that you guys can help me out here. Sou

This is a bit of a minefield here angel. We can't automatically assume that she's depressed if her reaction is in proportion to the situation.
Has she any history of mental ill health?
She may be going through a natural process of coming to terms with everything. We can say things we don't mean, or would word differently in hindsight, when we've had a shock like this. Her reaction may be appropriate to what she's going through and she may actually be venting her feelings of guilt through her emails and that could be helping her. The situation is obviously complicated by the fact that you only have contact via email and so you can't see how your friend is for most of the time. Sadly, it may be that she wants everyone involved to back off because she doesn't know how to face them.

The only person who can diagnose your friend's mental health is her doctor hunnie - be it mild depression or otherwise. Again, that's not helping you and you're obviously worried about her.
If you're seriously worried hunnie, and there's no way you can actually talk to her, you might want to mention in your message that she's sounding stressed out, which is completely natural after all that's happened - and that if she's feeling very low, she could always have a word with her doctor. They'll have access to a wide range of support options for her and there's nothing that they haven't heard before. If she finds it hard to talk about, she could always write it down and let the dr read it. And of course there's always out-of-hours mental health support through the NHS and also through charities like the Samaritans.

But you have to be aware here sou, that she may not thank anyone who suggests that she has a mental health issue. This really needs handling with kid gloves. I know you're really worried about her angel but being realistic, there's only so much you can do and you can't be responsible for what she might or might not do.
I'd let her take the lead, let her know you care and that this hasn't changed your friendship and that if there's any way you can help her to get over this, you will. Then just continue being the good friend you are to her. Send her your usual notes and see how she reacts. If she needs time to come to terms with everything, then you'll have to respect her decision and give it to her.
I'm sorry this hasn't been of much help hunnie. I'm not any kind of professional so please think everything through. There's lots of guardian angels on this thread who give wonderful advice and so please feel free to post again if you're still worried.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi ginger!:hello:
Welcome aboard hun.

ginger wrote:

I hope this isnt taken wrong, it's fantastic that there is such a place where you can open out your inner thoughts, like most, I have dark days and times, most of the time I can shake them off within a day or two, but this could turn out to be a real light that I can turn on being able to post on here, I must admit I havent read all the pages and pages of posts, but maybe I can help someone out there when theyre at their lowest and visa versa. best wishes

I just wanted to say thank you for your lovely sentiments hunnie. You don't have to worry about reading back all the pages - you'd be still doing it when the 2012 Olympics start if you read through all the thread homes we've had - this is Home No.8!
That's the magic of this place imho, you post usually because you're really struggling yourself and before you know it, you're supporting others who are struggling.

ginger wrote:

As i'm sure you know, there doesnt have to be a trigger, I get that regularly, I get a high, then boom, the low hits like a bomb. Theres no reason for it, you get the feeling that if you just wernt here all would be a lot better, the human race would be much better off if you just didnt exist. It's really not true, everyone has a reason for being here, everyones life has twists and turns, it's what makes it life not just an existance. I've got though quite a few very low times after cross examininating myself and wondering if my life would be better if I were so and so. to date i've yet to find anyones life that I really would like to take over. No matter who it is, no matter how they look and act, they have times and things that have happened to them they wished hadnt happened. I see your post as a positive thing, somewhere, someone has experienced similar things as you, by some reason they maybe directed to this thread as I have, and from your posting can see that they arent alone, that they can draw strength from your very honest accounts and help them through a pit of dispair they cant see themselves every emerging from.

I couldn't have put it better myself angel.
The famous saying of ''the grass is always greener on the other side'' is a tempting one to follow, but you don't always see the cowpats before you jump.;)
I'm a firm believer in the fact that you never know what's going on behind other people's front doors - you just never hear about their personal crises. We are equally likely to be happy and as successful as anyone else. Yes, things may be harder for us to achieve and we may have different combinations of highs and lows but nothing is ever completely constant for anyone - and that includes our mental ill health. Remembering this can be a real comfort to us during our lowest points because we can remind ourselves that this too will pass.
Did that make any sense? I know what I'm thinking - I just can't quite tiff it properly!

Yes, we are all unique but it's amazing how often something a post says something that triggers a memory, or a recognition of having been through something similar yourself. It's so reassuring when we're at our lowest points to find that someone out there cares enough to reply and can actually empathise with what we're going through. Mental ill health can be a very lonely illness and just knowing that there's even just a hug on screen waiting for you if you need it, can be all it takes to make a very real difference to that person.
Hoping all is well with you and yours ginger.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi als!:hello:
Come on in hun, you're very welcome. Thanks for taking the first step in posting - it's always a shaky one at first.

a_little_stressed wrote:

Hi this is my first visit, but I think I need to face up to whats going on in my head and seek some help. I presume it's depression as I am either very angry or crying in bed.I'm going to make a Dr's appointment this week and hopefully get some medication, but (I know it sound stupid) I am worried about weight gain. Can I be prescribed something to conteract? Or is weight gain a myth?
Soon-to-be-regular!

Well you're doing the right thing angel in seeing your dr. That's always the best step to take - they're the professionals and they'll have heard it all before.

You brought up an interesting point als, regarding weight gain. All meds - not just ads - affect people differently. Some can make you gain weight, some can make you actually lose weight and some make no difference at all. So there's no hard and fast rules, hun.
I think the best option is to try not to expect anything from your anti-depressants if prescribed to you, regarding weight gain.

It also follows that when you see your gp, you may not be prescribed meds necessarily - it's not an automatic option. The dr can also access other sources of support for you if necessary. Either way, they're the ones to make a proper diagnosis and they will keep checking on your progress.

In my humble opinion hunnie, the most important thing is to get your mental health issues addressed and get as well as you can get. While we may not want to gain weight, we have to ask ourselves what's the most important thing to us - being able to feel better with our mental health, or a slight weight gain? If it does become a serious issue, again your dr will be there to advise you and monitor you.;)
Hope this helped a little hun. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

alba37

Morning everyone :wave:

It's a lovely sunny day here in Glasgow... blinking typical when I'm going away soon!

Hope you all slept ok last night and you have a good day today.

A x x x

absolutebounder

Tiff wrote: »

In my humble opinion hunnie, the most important thing is to get your mental health issues addressed and get as well as you can get. While we may not want to gain weight, we have to ask ourselves what's the most important thing to us - being able to feel better with our mental health, or a slight weight gain? If it does become a serious issue, again your dr will be there to advise you and monitor you.;)
Hope this helped a little hun. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

I was wondering since the poster brought up the worry of weight gain in the post that there was a possibility that weight gain was an underlying cause of her feelings that she thinks may be depression. Weight gain concern often comes with giving up smoking but I would have thought less likely with depression medication if as you rightly say it is prescribed in the first place.
You are right to say it is important to get better as soon as possible but it is unlikely to happen if the underlying cause is not sorted out. Maybe it would be useful if a little stressed was to say why she is concerned about weight gain.

Diamond78

Morning Everyone,
Hope all is well and feeling good. Its nice and sunny here in london to luckily. ds is moaning already coz I made him scrambled egg and not soldiers and egg. Have 6 weeks of this lol. Have put the washing on, which leaves me with 1 load left. Staying in all day today so can get all the housework done. I find it very calming when doing it. I also have a mouse in the house to my horror....Have put the mouse/rat poison in places but its still here and its makig me feel very uneasy. I dont want it to eat the poison and die but have no choice really.
Still not luck with our flights. Ds really wants to go but the prices have shot up again. I should of booked it a long time ago.Oh well, will just keep trying as I dont give up that easily.

Ccstar, hope your feeling better.

Anni, where are you?

Hugs to you all.xx

alba37

Hi D,

The joys of the school holidays eh? Atleast when they are at school they can moan when they get up but it doesn't last too long as they have to go to school!!

Glad you've not given up, you never know if something will come up. Why not call a few agents and leave your number? I'm sure you had your reasons for not booking earlier....

Hope you have a good day,

A x