Depression Support Thread

Horasio

feelinggood wrote: »

CCstar - I hope you know I don't ignore you, just with the parrallells in our situations, I tend to get a bit annoyed on your behalf when reading your messages! My OH has been on holiday for a week. Its been NINE days since I had any 'alone time'. I can't wait till tomorrow when I can have some peace!

Lucky you:)

I'm stuck with my self pitying waster. He is using the I'm a failure card. He had a horrible phone call the other day from a south east d/head salesman which discouraged him and he's decided to have a self pitying session and he had turned it on me. My OH isn't working so he can develop a business. I have been very supportive and encouraging but when I was feeling stressed last night, he was horrible to me. What I hate is I get hope and feel we have a future, then he lets me down in this way.

Our lease will be expiring soon. Last week I was thinking we could have a new place together and grow. He blew it out of the water again and now thinking I would be better in my own place.

I am looking for support so I can do the step of getting out of this toxic marriage.

Yes I see some similarities to our lives. In a way we are similar, I have a child around your age, so don't have young children to consider and do have the money to get away. What do I do once I get my own place? What is there for a woman like me living alone? Will I regret it and go back when I feel well again? Will I be able to earn money and keep my home?

It isn't all fun being mid 40s and not been formally working in the workplace for several years and being 27 years in a toxic marriage takes it toll on your confidence for getting work, making friends or setting up a business.

I am living near to my mother but can't trust her. She is lovely and encouraging, then bullies me which takes the rug from under me. I am scared to be alone and near her because I tend to get taken over by her - she has a very strong personality and when I feel vulnerable, she builds me up then when I feel low, she is horrible. When I met my OH, he seemed so easy going and supportive. When I felt low with my PMS he was useless and worse when we got married and lived together but I was trapped by lack of money to get away or I would have to go back home which was not an option for me.

I have serious trust issues from being let down by people who say they care and let me down when I need the most support (not saying you are like this) but it happens to me so often. When my family start being nice to me again, the rest of the world seems indifferent in comparison and feel hope again for being a supportive family, then they hurt me again and I feel alone again.

I remember when I was 22 I didn't have a child nor the money to get away. I did have a child a couple of years later and was trapped for years. I could have left when my OH earned more and moved to Scotland but couldn't cope with our son alone or leave him. Please don't end up in my situation and be me in 20 years time on this type of forum.

LadyMorticia

*hugs* to everyone who wants/needs them.

xx

LadyMorticia

Heya Katie hun.

Thanks. I think I would be really lost without everyone here. I just get so frustrated at myself. I am lucky that my doctor is lovely but in the back of my mind I'm terrified that she is going to drop me too, like everyone else has always done.

xx

septemberblues

Afternoon everybody. CCStar, I just wanted to send a big <<<<hug>>> to you, I'm so sorry you feel like you do, I can't give you any advice (my advice is generally crap) but hope you feel a little better at the mo. I think what's happened with the depression board is that we are all depressed and when someone is depressed it takes over their whole life (it does with me), and we end up with very little to give to others - but I might just be talking about myself. Like you I'm feeling really sh*t, and I guess others on here are as well. But anyway, CCStar you certainly sound like you are having a tough time at the mo, sounds like you need some "me" time in your life xxxxx

septemberblues

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Heya Katie hun.

Thanks. I think I would be really lost without everyone here. I just get so frustrated at myself. I am lucky that my doctor is lovely but in the back of my mind I'm terrified that she is going to drop me too, like everyone else has always done.

xx

Hey Anni, hope youre ok.

Diamond78

Hey Everyone,
Hope everyone is well and good. Sorry to those having a bad time.

Ccstar, sorry you feel the way you do. I have replied to your post in the last month and would never ignored you or anyone else. Maybe you missed what I wrote, but i defianatly replied to you wishing you get well wishes when you hurt your leg.

Got to go now, didnt get a chance to read everyones posts, sorry but will do tonight. Sending u all hugs and kisses.
xxx

Horasio

The lawns have been done by them but our son hasn't done it properly and moaned when I told him the bits he missed. He wants paying for doing his bit of the lawn and he lives rent free. I would pay him plus give him fags but now I don't want to give him a cent for being so horrible.

I don't know how I am going to get thro today without cutting a vein (in a manner of speaking)

At least our son works but my OH will be around making me feel sick to my stomach.

Nice supportive family I have when I feel low and tired from illness and lack of sleep. The atmosphere here is terrible and I wish I was living alone away from them.

It is a form of torture living with men and their slapdash ways.

Horasio

I have had a cold from hell and nursed a bad leg and when it is at it's worst, you cope and feel cheerful. It is when it is getting better, you get extremely tired and I am being treated like dirt when I need a good atmosphere and relaxation.

This is simply making me more ill and unable to think straight.

I detest them for treating me this way and my mother will be no use whatsoever if I rang her.

I need peace and decent atmosphere.

Diamond78

Anni, glad you done your hair hun. When are you going to put a pic up? I done my hair the other week, only to dark brown. Am thinking of going black after i gt it cut. Have to go asda now which is an hour away as i got a dvd player which no longer works. Am so hungry my hands are shaking. xx

septemberblues

CCStar wrote: »

The lawns have been done by them but our son hasn't done it properly and moaned when I told him the bits he missed. He wants paying for doing his bit of the lawn and he lives rent free. I would pay him plus give him fags but now I don't want to give him a cent for being so horrible.

I don't know how I am going to get thro today without cutting a vein (in a manner of speaking)

At least our son works but my OH will be around making me feel sick to my stomach.

Nice supportive family I have when I feel low and tired from illness and lack of sleep. The atmosphere here is terrible and I wish I was living alone away from them.

It is a form of torture living with men and their slapdash ways.

Aaw poor thing, I'm lucky in that I live alone (with my dogs), I've got 3 grown up kids and I was glad when the last one went! I see the youngest everyday and the middle one a couple of times a week, the oldest once every few months - so you can never get away from them! But I love them dearly and we all appreciate each other much more now we don't live together. Living alone can be bliss.................................;) - but it's not for everyone, so you would need to think long and hard about going it alone. I love it but would like to think one day I will meet my second husband.......but not yet! :rotfl: :rotfl: