Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
How's everyone? There's a rumour of sunshine making an appearance today - it may even stay a while! Of course, this is only according to the computer which is nowhere near as accurate as bmf's knees!;) However, let's cross everything and hope for the best.

A quick shout out to shaz before she leaves - have a lovely holiday angel!
Things are looking good for you - a prospective suitor waiting for your return as well!:j - Erm, don't do this on the date hunnie or it may be the last one for a while! I really hope you have a great time sweetie.

A bit of this...



...some of this...



...quite a lot of this...



...and as many of these as you can get...



...and you'll feel like a new woman!;)
Safe journeys hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi katie!:hello:
Sorry you're not very well hunnie - I hope you feel better soon. I'm not doing too good myself.

No hunnie, you only think you have the key to the smartie cupboard - that's the reject pile! They're the yellow ones painted blue as a trap - no wonder you're feeling poorly.:D All the smarties have been removed from shaz's luggage.
Right katie-tulip, I should warn you that smartie-trafficking is illegal - as you and sazzy both well know! - so please consider this a formal warning.
Don't you make me come round there young lady!



Feel better soon angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi ilgd!:hello:
Hey hun, I'm so sorry to hear you're so low. Let's have a look hunnie...

ilgd wrote:

am havin really bad time atm.am on a dmp wwith cccs and owe mint £5500.they have been acceptin £5 monthly along with all the others.had solicitors letter today.they want full ball before 25th or its court.cant imagine judge accepting £5 monthly ccj so may be a cahrge on house.i cant afford anymore a month but at £5 it wwill never be paid so i suppose i dont blame.dh has been good up to now but think this may be last straw.

I hope I'm not stating the obvious angel, but have you been to Citizens Advice about this recent turn of events? I know it can feel like a huge mountain just to face the day with things like this on your mind, but you'll be able to get some updated support regarding the proposed change of plan.

It'll be one of two answers, or maybe even a combination of the two, imho:
- CAB will tell you that yes, they can do this - in which case at least you'll know where you stand angel. And CAB will support you through the process, so even when you're not on here, you won't be alone and you won't be taken advantage of.
- CAB will tell you that they can't do this and will fight your corner with you and/or for you if you're too poorly to do it yourself.

So either way, you have nothing to lose by contacting CAB hun. You'll be able to draw up another updated financial statement with them and work from that.
Not that I'm an expert as you know hunnie, but my stance would be to say that as you haven't defaulted on the agreed repayments £5 a month, and knowing that you are adhering to a dmp, it is unreasonable of them to make a demand for the full amount that you are unable to repay and also that your other creditors are not demanding such a course of action.

I hope you don't mind hunnie, but here's a mild Tiffy letter that you can use - or not!;) - as a reply to them. This is the nice verson.:D



Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in response to your request via my solicitor for the full amount of £5,500 to settle my account.
As we have an agreement to repay the amount at £5 a month, and as I haven't defaulted, I was extremely distraught to receive such a request as you might imagine.

As you will know from my financial statement, I am unable to repay this large amount of money at this time. I entered into this repayment agreement with good intent, to settle my account and, as such, I would ask you respectfully to please review your request for the settlement of the account.
My intention has always been to pay off the debt in full as soon as I possibly can and I have kept to our agreement. I am not trying to avoid my responsibilities and none of my other creditors have made such a request and I am quite at a loss as to why you suddenly wish to change the arrangement we agreed to.

This situation is having an extrememly negative impact on my health to the point where I've become very depressed and finding it hard to keep going, which I'm currently receiving medical treatment for.

I can barely afford the £5 a month now and, as with everyone else in the country, my bills are now increasing alarmingly. I simply can't give you what I haven't got.
Accordingly, I will be in contact with CAB and CCCS this week to review my financial statement and to update it, and we will be in contact as soon as possible to try and resolve these issues.

It is with all these points in mind, that I respectfully request that any further proceedings are suspended until CAB, CCCS and my doctor have been consulted. I will be in touch at the earliest opportunity. Many thanks for your time and understanding.
Yours sincerely,
ilgd
(NB - NO KISSES!!!)


I hope this helps a little angel. Dry your eyes hunnie - you're not alone.
I have to go now ilgd, but I'll answer the rest of your post next time. Hang in there sweetie - we've been through worse than this. Be kind to yourself hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys! :hello:
Very MSE tip here peeps - if stating the blatantly obvious - that I made in ilgd's reply...

PLEASE remember to update your financial statement for your debt repayment plans to include all the new increases resulting from the credit crunch. They can't take what you haven't got.
And if it goes to court, some judges may agree that you're not currently in a position to make any repayments or allow you to make smaller ones, right now.
I hope this helps someone - if not I'll bloomin well keep me tips to myself!

Enjoy your day guys - sorry, can't do any more right now.
Much Love,

Horasio

Thanks Tulip - I feel I am everyone's ignore list on this thread, especially a month ago.

I have had loads to deal with but felt no-one would care here, so didn't post. I'm not even sure why I am posting just now, it is a waste of time. I must like banging my head on a wall.

I get enough of that feeling from my family when I feel low.

I was coping with my leg, cold and family duties until my OH turned on me last night. He makes out he is the victim in this marriage and I am the bad guy. Just what you need when you feel on the ground with illness, a mad dog who turns on you and all loving when you are putting them first.

Typical, I get treated well if I am happy and like cr*p or ignored when I feel unwell.

I know I have posted all this before but it is finding the courage to go and I get told I will get support to help build my courage to get away from my cesspit of a family who mess with my head by pretending to care and build me up then turning on me when I feel ill.

I am alone as usual.

Tulip

CCStar wrote: »

I have been so tired lately after my leg trouble, family illness and my bad cold. Fairly typical after a major trauma and activity.

Our son has people round and whilst he is being OK and quiet, I am finding it unsettling having people pass my window to see him at this time of night (midnight). He is moving to his own place soon so he won't bother us but tonight I didn't want people outside my room. They have been quiet and on any other night, it would be fine.

I asked my OH to tell our son to stop his guests going past my window so often. He rang him to say that and there was no problem but there will be another person going past later and it is really unsettling me tonight. On other nights it wouldn't be such an issue.

The trouble started when my OH wasn't understanding about how I was feeling about his, needing peace after my illness and how tired I am. Whenever I feel tired after anything gruelling, he acts horrible and he said I was being unreasonable. I find that offensive given I have been keeping going doing jobs and generally keeping my spirits up. I simply want time out from the everyday stuff to get over this tiredness and I am being called unreasonable for this.

I felt very scared by him (he looks really scary when he gets angry) and I don't need this on top of getting over my illness and trying to relax. Whilst I haven't been hit, it feels like a slap in the face and I feel really depressed. Not only am I tired but he has upset me. He says he is sorry but then flares up again when I state how I feel. I feel I have to watch how far I go with what I say and he makes things uncomfortable and I feel bullied by this discomfort and have done for many years.

I eat and drink things to cope with this feeling but I am so tired now, I need to take it easy. I haven't wanted to cook or do the mundane stuff this week. I have found everyday things a mega chore and putting the face on a drag. Somehow he makes me feel wrong for this and I am sick of it tbh. He isn't going out to work just now, so can do more around the house but I have to half do it for him and ALWAYS have to ask and check as he forgets to lock doors or shut fridges etc.

Whenever anyone else offends me, I feel he wants me to shut up and never deals with them. If I am not the sweet dutiful wife, I am unreasonable. I hate housework and chores at the best of times and feel I do heaps even tho he is at home. He does do other things but it is the relentless day in day out every bloody day of the same old on top of being ill or wanting time out to recover.

A few days ago, I was feeling really close to him and wanted to be with him but when he does this to me, I feel alone, betrayed and scared. I want to get my own place. I am made to feel wrong for feeling tired and wanting peace when I need it. I can't work or do anything tiring as I am made to feel wrong for wanting to relax.

We are having to find a new place to live soon and I don't want to live in a place where I feel anxious about feeling tired and wanting to relax with my OH around.

How can I get over this feeling of feeling wrong? I know I am not but I feel ill again.

*hugs*

Katie

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope you are all well,I am fine today throat is getting better not saying loads at the moment as I want to keep quiet and rest my voice at the moment I got the right Key to the Smartie cupboard Tiff I worked that out as I tried each key that was hung on the wall until one worked

Hope you all have a lovely day


*hugs* to those that need one


love and light,

Katie xxx

LadyMorticia

Most of my hair is now red - with the few odd bits that are still blonde.lol. That's the trouble with having long thick hair - when the packet recommends two boxes of dye, don't ignore it.lol.

Going out tomorrow to get a second lot to do the blonde bits. I might wear a hat. It's not too bad but it is noticeable (to me anyway). Will post a photo when all my hair is covered.

I'm seeing the doctor on Tuesday. I don't think she's going to be too happy with me though as I've lost some more weight, but I'm still fat and horrible.

I'm so stupid.

xx

feelinggood_2

CCstar - I hope you know I don't ignore you, just with the parrallells in our situations, I tend to get a bit annoyed on your behalf when reading your messages! My OH has been on holiday for a week. Its been NINE days since I had any 'alone time'. I can't wait till tomorrow when I can have some peace!

Tulip

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Most of my hair is now red - with the few odd bits that are still blonde.lol. That's the trouble with having long thick hair - when the packet recommends two boxes of dye, don't ignore it.lol.

Going out tomorrow to get a second lot to do the blonde bits. I might wear a hat. It's not too bad but it is noticeable (to me anyway). Will post a photo when all my hair is covered.

I'm seeing the doctor on Tuesday. I don't think she's going to be too happy with me though as I've lost some more weight, but I'm still fat and horrible.

I'm so stupid.

xx

:hello: Anni,

You are not stupid ok? You are you I know you dont feel too happy at the moment but hey we are here for you as for you as well CCStar I am sure people are not ignoring you CCstar I think whats happened is we all post and sometimes posts are overlooked if you know what I mean and some dont get answered,I am sure people on here dont ignore you,I certainly dont,I might not give advice but my hugs are available anytime

I am off out now to see whats on offer at our carnival as its officially started today

Everyone please Support CCStar as she really needs it at the moment thanks

chat later


love and light,

Katie xxx