Lose Weight 22

Brighton_belle

vixarooni wrote: »

haha, we can have t shirts made!! Granny would defo have !!!!!! on hers. How funny, i can imagine granny and BB dancing on top of a table, missy would be doing 50 press ups in the corner....dragon would be in full body bandages, raph would be texting her fiance cos she cant be apart for one nano second, what a party! ha.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :T .

Can't top that:D .
As for your friend Vix - do you want to stay friends or is it habit? If he was a best mate sounds like you do - you know what history you have (like lois says, your reason to have a bond.) If you do, perhaps give it another go and see what happens. Some relationships do naturally move on. If we stayed friends with everyone we ever met, there'd be no time for anything. But having a few friends that go back a long way can be special. Only you can hear his voice and how he might be saying what he wrote.

Dragon - this sounds awful - have the breaks never healed, or do you mean thev'e healed but cause pain when stressed physically? Thank goodnes you have a Dr dragon on hand. I knew you are invariably in pain, but this just brings it home all over again. Respect.
Beanie - sorry yous flat. Hope you get a good night's sleep and feel refreshed tomorrow:grouphug: .
Lois - are you really 6ft: suddenly you sound incredibly elegant:D . I've just finished watching Jerry Springer too - had a little weep actually as all I could think of was OH and me having to leave our mothers behind and that happening to them. Unutterably ghastly.
Thanks for the chart Efrieze - it is just really quiet at the mo. I think it'll all take off again in Sept. I had a feeling motivation was still bugging you as you haven't posted much. Any ideas what has triggered this long spell? Are you still doing the running/cycling?
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dellybelly_2

tagz wrote: »

Hi Delly

You've been in my thoughts today. Hope things pick up soon. I read back a few pages and a thought popped into my head. Her 'I'll walk away' bit and the other guff she came out with sounded a bit like 'OMG what have I got myself into - run away in a dignified manner!'.

Agree with KPC, knowing that you could do things on your own can strengthen you. It made me feel less 'wimpy' if you know what I mean whilst we were sorting things out. I think it also made OH realise that by my thinking of life without him it wasn't a done deal if he decided to stay.

tagz I wish that your feelings about the other woman were true. I was off work today as I was getting my veneers on amongst other stuff and ended up having another meltdown. I asked OH yesterday to change his phone number because whilst I was sure he wouldn't call her, she might call him, but he refused. - guess what? She phoned him today to find out "how things were going" whilst I was at the Dr.'s for my reductil checkup. Don't ask me how I know, I'm not proud of it.

it was all I could do not to smash the phone and log on to facebook and tell her to stay the fcuk out of my marriage. Took 5 minutes, calmed down and confronted my other half...... "do you have anything you need to tell me?.... no.... she phoned you didn't she? ..... em, yes!..... - cue meltdown, except I tried to stay reasonable and explain that this was the reason why I wanted him to change his phone number, that the continuation of this "friendship " was damaging and hurtful to more things than my pride.... I was becoming needy, insecure, jealous, suspicious - the exact opposite of everything I've always been..... we talked it over and agreed that a good compromise for now would be that he'd be honest and tell me if she called him. - I told him I couldn't promise that I wouldnt check his phone and that he wasn't making any great efforts to help me to trust him again.


What he did tell me was that he told her things were getting better but we were taking it slowly. And as we were going out tonight, he did give me a kiss and thank me for not completely cracking up about the contact.


can anyone tell me? Am I being a complete pushover here? She's due to go to Oz for a year in 4 days time and it's highly unlikely that she'll phone after that.... Should I go any further in this, I've tried to be reasonable and compromise but ...... argh!


As for the money thing - I'm pretty sure I'd be ok. When we weren't getting on last year I logged on to entitleto.com and got an idea of the kinds of help I'd receive, DS and I will be fine. I'm in this for the emotional investment.

I do believe that we're making some progress, but it's very slow and I can't help but think that she's put things back a day or two.


Will be off to bed soon, and will keep you posted.

serendisglair

Delly,

I think you're managing this fantastically and can really understand your frustration.

It's good that you know whats available for you if you did decide to leave but unfortunately only you know if it will be worth the emotional investment. Its far to easy for others to see things in black and white when its written down so it wouldn't be fair to comment.

Maybe see how you feel once you've seen the relate people?

Sorry I haven't been of much help....but what to say

Big hugs

Lois_Lane

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Lois - are you really 6ft: suddenly you sound incredibly elegant:D .

I'm actually 5' 11, but top 6 foot as soon as I've got shoes on! This will make you laugh - as tall as I am, I'm the smallest in my family, DH, DS and DD are all 6' 1!

I've just finished watching Jerry Springer too - had a little weep actually as all I could think of was OH and me having to leave our mothers behind and that happening to them. Unutterably ghastly.

That series really affects me, but last night I was actually in tears and I'm welling up again now, just thinking about it. Not sure why - I've got no family connections to the holocaust whatsoever, but maybe it's because it was so awful and not that long ago, relatively speaking. And, as you say, if I put myself in that situation I can imagine how dreadful it must have been.

On a positive note, it makes me realise how fortunate I am.

LL

efrieze

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Thanks for the chart Efrieze - it is just really quiet at the mo. I think it'll all take off again in Sept. I had a feeling motivation was still bugging you as you haven't posted much. Any ideas what has triggered this long spell? Are you still doing the running/cycling?

Still doing the running which is good (not had as much time for cycling especially with this poor weather). I feel like my gains are compounding and it is all getting out of control. How mnay day ones can I have in a month??? Today is going ok.....so far !!!!

Lois_Lane

dellybelly wrote: »

can anyone tell me? Am I being a complete pushover here?

I don't have any personal experience to draw on to advise you, but my heart is telling me that if you love someone and want to stay with them, do whatever it takes to make that happen. However, my head tells me that you also need to think of yourself and your son, and being with someone who isn't committed to being with you can be damaging.

He can't be in love with this woman after such a short space of time, it's infatuation, and that kind of attraction fizzles out quite quickly once the person is out of sight, so once she's out of the way in Oz he will hopefully get her out of his mind.

I really feel for you Delly, but stay strong, and remember we're all on your side and thinking of you - sending positive thoughts and another hug your way.

LL

tagz

Morning Delly

It's not fair that you are having such a bad time when you have done nothing! I too wanted my Oh to change his phone but he needed it for work so I insisted that he gave me the pin number so he couldn't lock it and he had to expect me to look every now and then. I knew that if he really wanted he could get a new phone and just not tell me or erase his messages/calls, but I told him that if I found out he had done this it would be the end.

As for the slagbag contacting him again I would have wanted to tell her to flip off too, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have the self control to stop myself! Well done. Yes it would make you feel a bit better as you could get some of your anger out but she could use it as a way of contacting him again 'poor me look what your wife says about me!'.

As for being a pushover. No you are not . But do keep telling yourself 'I have done nothing to deserve this and he needs to gain my trust'.

Have you booked the Relate session yet?

Whoppa hugs!:grouphug:

tagz

Welcome back Victory. You could have brought the sun with you!

tagz

vixarooni wrote: »

oh my word, Just got this message from what i would call my best chum. Or he was anyway. It was his 21st in march and i didnt go to his party cos i was narked off by something that i probably shouldnt be narked off about but i have apologised now for it. anyway, just got this email from him cos i wanted to know if we still had a friendship or not and he wrote: "well i dunno what we do now, my patients has run out for a lot of canterbury friends (hes moved away to uni you see) and iv told them where to go but i'll give u another chance cause of the history. uv got a lot of butt kissing and making up to do." I get the end bit is probably a bit of a joke, but the whole give me another chance because of the history!!

I thought id ask for opinions outside of the box before i reply back.

Hi Vix

I suppose it depends on what happened before but if you have already apologised that usually would be the end of it. Depends on how much his friendship means to you. If it was me I would either reply back in extreme grovel mode but suitably jokey too or go completely the other way and tell him to get off his high horse, but also in a jokey way.

II_D2_II

It's not fair that you are having such a bad time when you have done nothing! I too wanted my Oh to change his phone but he needed it for work so I insisted that he gave me the pin number so he couldn't lock it and he had to expect me to look every now and then. I knew that if he really wanted he could get a new phone and just not tell me or erase his messages/calls, but I told him that if I found out he had done this it would be the end.

As for the slagbag contacting him again I would have wanted to tell her to flip off too, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have the self control to stop myself! Well done. Yes it would make you feel a bit better as you could get some of your anger out but she could use it as a way of contacting him again 'poor me look what your wife says about me!'.

i have a question, i may of not read properly or just not of seen it,, but has the man actually done anything wrong at the moment?!
im not taking sides or anythign i just want to know a few things