Lose Weight 22

Lois_Lane

funkyfunkymonkey wrote: »

V
I had my stitches out today - the scar is looking a bit ropey at the moment - hope it improves. Good luck for your OP, let us know when you go in and how you get on.

FFM

Hi FFM - don't worry, scars do improve with time. I've got one on my upper right arm and at first I thought I'd never be able to wear anything sleeveless again, but it's fading nicely (after 2 years) to the point that I have dared to show it this summer. You could also try Bio Oil on it, once it's healed.

LL

Lois_Lane

dellybelly wrote: »

thanks folks,

Things looking up. He's agreed to give up the "friend" and we're working on the marriage. Just taking things a day at a time for now (well an hour at a time atm). There's definitely changes to be made but at least he's acknowledged that he hasn't been communicating with me in a long long time... all of you long term LW folks might remember that stuff has been going on a long time but never seemed to be fully resolved.

Here's looking to the future and at least the woman that he befriended told him that she expected I would ask him to give up the relationship (although why she didn't just cut off the ties herself if she knew this is beyond me altogether).

Anyway, now is not the time for recriminations or accusations. I'll keep you up to date.

On a lighter note, had a sneaky WI and I think I've lost 3lbs in the past 2 days - BONUS! lol

Delly - so sorry to hear about your troubles, I really hope he will see sense and recognise that this restlessness and dissatisfaction has come about because of this woman, and it will pass if he concentrates on where he is in life, i.e. with you and your son. Good luck, and a virtual hug from me.

LL

Lois_Lane

Hi all :wave:

Hope everyone's having a good weekend. It's lovely here, the sun is out and we're planning to have a barbecue on Monday if it lasts till then.

I've had a bad back all week, but thankfully it has improved a lot today, so that I can actually do normal things like having a shower and washing my hair! I'm not going to attempt anything more strenuous than that yet though.

We're eating at friends tonight and I've no idea what they're planning, so I'm being 'free of syn' all day and I haven't used any healthy extras either, so I'll have a bit of leeway whatever we have.

I'm determined to lose at least a pound this week so I'll get my first half stone award, as I'm aiming to lose half a stone each month.

BB - I know what year you were born! They say everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing at the time of that assassination, although that only applies if you were born and old enough to remember of course. (I don't!) They also say the same thing about the death of Elvis Presley but even that is before Vix was born! :rotfl:

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

LL

Brighton_belle

delly - you've been on my mind all morning whilst we've been out. This is a good start for you both and I am greatly relieved he wants to try and work things out. I so hope you can. I can see from what you have written how he has had his head turned, and the temptation to fly free and be young again has it's attractions. Good that he has recognised the lack of communication - essential if he is to start improving on that. I so wish you well with this, for all 3 of you.:grouphug:
I think some people don't seem to realise that it's not just physical faithfulness that counts, but emotional intimacy has to be cherised, nutured and safeguarded too. At least even if his "friend" didn't act on her knowledge, she won't be pursuing him. Love the 3lbs silver lining!!
Missy, thanks for you kind comments re my posts - really appreciated.
I do agree with your comment re it's not age but what you pack into the years, but ironically I have done considerably less than most people my age due to carp health:rolleyes: . So I tend to see it as it's outlook and attitude that matters.
I have absolutely no photos of my life between that ages of 25 and 38. I spent large parts of that time lying down and being alone, with semi constant flu like symptoms. The ravages of ME I'm afraid, subsequently followed by acute, hospitalising 80% psoriasis just when I was getting back on my feet. Ho hum.
Returned from our urban foraging trip with 2 chopping boards from the 99p shop to turn into mosacicafied pressies, a pkt of butter to make my birthday cakes for the picnic and some black bin liners. Oh and we stopped at our fav cafe and had a hot chocolate - but without the cream on top so non of it counts:D .
Beanie - you so are older than me:D .
Bails crossing so many fingers here I can barely type, but hope the glimmer of light through the trees grows stronger.
FFM, it's amazing how scars fade, and it will.
Going to chill for a bit then pop out to meeting place for next saturdays picnic to make sure i give the right direction instructions.

funkyfunkymonkey

Lois_Lane wrote: »

Hi FFM - don't worry, scars do improve with time. I've got one on my upper right arm and at first I thought I'd never be able to wear anything sleeveless again, but it's fading nicely (after 2 years) to the point that I have dared to show it this summer. You could also try Bio Oil on it, once it's healed.

LL

Thanks for all the comments on the scar, my post makes me sound more concerned than I really am. It's located in the inside bend of my elbow, so hidden amongst the rest of my creases (wrinkles?:rotfl: ) no one will ever know the difference.

FFM

dellybelly_2

I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your support Guys. It's a times like this when you realise the value of your friends. I've been given fantastic advice from 2 very close friends over the past number of days and I don't know how I can ever thank them enough.

He's not about right now so I can fill in a little bit on what's happening. Basically, this person was the catalyst for change and he told me that this crisis had been coming for some time, the gaming and drinking and cutting me off were apparently his way of avoiding things. He felt there was something missing in our relationship but wasn't sure of what it was (I told him that HE was what was missing), he still loves me but not with the intensitiy that we first had. I did explain to him, that that initial feeling is a mixture of lust and infatuation and it passes and either the relationship ends or the feelings deepen into something more. He did say that it was possible that this would have happened with another woman who wasn't so kind or understanding. To give this person her dues, she sent him back to me to "fix things" - nice eh?

He did say that he wanted to maintain his friendship with this woman as they "clicked" but at arms length. Given that her presence threatend my marriage so much I had to tell him that I couldn't move forward if he was still in contact with her. I would constantly be suspicious and questioning his faithfulness to our relationship. I didn't make him give up his friendship - that had to be entirely his decision but I did make it clear that we couldn't improve /fix our marriage half as well if I thought she was still on the scene.

We've had a bit of time alone together now and have agreed to take things one day at a time. He has acknowledged that he was in the wrong and what he risked losing (not often you get that kind of admission from a guy don't you think?)

He has since taken her off his facebook page and deleted her number from his phone although I do see there's a new txt message from her there now but understand that wrapping up this "relationship" wasn't going to be a matter of minutes!

We've had some time alone since coming home and agreed to take things slowly.

Will keep you all up to date

Brighton_belle

Thanks for the update delly. I hope this proves to be the catalyst for better times. But as you say, a day at a time.
Friends are indeed utterly the best thing about life.

vixarooni

Hey delly, sorry to hear about your troubles. Definatly done the right thing in saying to end that relationship, he should end it for your sake because of the worry/curiosity you would feel. I hope you two can patch things up, sometimes you need a time like this in order to get everything you feel out in the open, from the past to the present to improve your relationship. Hope it all ends in hugs and smiles for you

BB: 39?

FFM: thanks for the clues on disney, i wanna stay in the main hotel but it depends on funds, matts been working really hard so fingers crossed!!

Raph: !!!!!!! cant have lilac, what about gold?

I went to the port today cos i got the dates mixed up but on the other hand i was up early so matt and i went to the local boot fair. Picked up a phone for £2, two glass place matts for a £1, 6 glasses and a candlestick holder for FREE! So thats all in the bottom drawer Off to matts parents house for dinner today, really dont want to go but it gets fun when we all play cards in the evening.

have a nice day folks

Brighton_belle

vixarooni wrote: »

BB: 39?

For you vix, I can happily settle for being 39:rotfl:

dellybelly_2

Things got worse last night... he decided to be completely honest with me and told me that he loved her . you can imagine the fall out from that one.

can someone please explain to me how you can love someone you've known for 2 weeks? He can't accept that it's an infatuation and he'll see clearer in a few weeks time.

I can't fight against a dream and am at a loss for what to do?