Weekly Flylady Thread 30th June 2008

lil_me

Tia, usually if you email equezen they'll send samples if you express concern about if your child will accept the flavours etc.

cookie, I'll drop you a PM with my email addy in a mo as I need to go out later, been reading what you have said about your DS, it's not easy when things aren't 'right' but nothings impossible, as long as he's alive and healthy, the rest can be worked on With the social issues, always remember, if someone has a problem with your son, that's their problem NOT YOURS!

Just about to get ready to go help DP with the club, I've got a meeting tomorrow with a disability group to discuss us getting some of the children involved, which will be especially good for those with extremely limiting disabilities like MD so therefore I need to know tonight where the disabled access is to the hall we use (there must be one somewhere as it's a school!) and anything that might be an issue.

gunsandbanjos

cookie334 wrote: »

That's good that your family accept him. I feel I'm constantly defending DS from the family. They wind him up and get him over excited, pack him full of crap and then shout at him when he lashes out. I keep explaining that you can't give him a row when he's that high because by that time he's lost all control, but they seem to think he needs punished.

Please dont take this the wrong way, but he's your child, you need to put your foot down with regards to the way your family treat him. If junk food makes him hyper they dont give it to him, they dont over excite him as that is really unfair! Have you sat them down and explained why it is unacceptable for them to do this? I'm assuming its you that has to deal with the fallout when you get home?
My LO doesnt get much in the way of sweets, she never gets fizzy drinks etc, however my inlaws seem to try and feed her as much crap as possible. I asked them not to after i picked her up one day and she wouldnt stop crying/screaming which is really out of character, they had given her loads of sweets and it sent her properly loopy. They are much better than they used to be, they still give her a little more than i would like but as its only once in a while i doesnt annoy me as much as it used to.

pigpen

cookie334 wrote: »

That's good that your family accept him. I feel I'm constantly defending DS from the family. They wind him up and get him over excited, pack him full of crap and then shout at him when he lashes out. I keep explaining that you can't give him a row when he's that high because by that time he's lost all control, but they seem to think he needs punished.

My advice.. intervene and MAKE them stop.. he has no control over his actions but they have! You have control over what they give him. Make a time to go round and speak to grandparents about this and say he is not to bed given anything without your explicit approval and if you say stop they stop.. no questions. Any aunts and uncles that do the same go visit them too, it is not good for them to get really wound up like that.. I barely have to speak and my lot stop.. maybe because I am the scary member of the family.. The first couple of times I literally left.. I asked them to stop, if they didn't we left.. that simple.. they learn quick!

The hv knows all the history re DS, but she never mentioned anything about this possibly being linked to his brain and I didn't bring it up. Do you think I should say something next week?

I think it is worth mentioning.. even if just to make you feel better!

I'm confusing myself the more I think about it though, I keep wondering

1. Am I over reacting and seeing something that isn't there because of the history? or

2. Am I playing it down for fear of there actually being something wrong with him?

It is proven fact a mother knows her child better than anyone else after just 24 hours! If you feel there is something not quite 100%.. you are more than likely right.. knowing what the issue is makes it easier to deal with.. You will know what to expect and ways to cope and inform other people.

And I honestly don't know which one it is. Family members have commented on his behaviour before and my sister (who is a nursery teacher) has commented "he has serious anger issues" countless times and yet when I mentioned that I had the hv coming over to discuss it none of them understood why?!?

Hence I never say anything to any family member until I know more!

It's good to know how long I'm looking at though, so thanks for that. I'm guessing that the 2 years is an average? Therefore it could still be much longer?

Usually it is done quickly once things start moving I've found.. push and push and push.. I ring up to nag and chase appointments and referrals every couple of weeks..

Don't ever feel you are battling this alone! You have all of us, quite a few have children with issues. about 75% of all children with problems/disabilities/issues are boys... you are very much not alone!! Really lucky families have 2 or 3!!

germish_se

:mad: Got down to the seafront and the sun went in and big dark clouds rolled in. Typical! Had an icecream anyway and came straight home again.

Pigpen I didn't realise you had 2 boys with problems, that must be tough work.
Horrible when you can't get a diagnosis either.

Cookie Maybe I'm naive but isn't it better to tell the HV so she can help? That is what they are for I thought? (I didn't bring mine up in the UK 'til they were 7 so have no experience of hv's)

A friend of mine had a very difficult boy, he never listened to what he was told and lashed out at his younger brother, he also didn't talk much but the gp just fobbed her off and said he'd grow out of it. S
he persevered though and when he was 5 ish they figured out he was hearing impaired since birth and was slowly going completely deaf, hence the behaviour and not talking much, he couldn't hear to learn to express himself!

I feel very lucky regarding my boys as they have always been very easy children - if we disregard the first 3 months when I never got to sleep or eat, but that's mostly because there was two of them at once and they were tiny so needed feeding ALL the time.
I find girls harder work, my niece (19) in particular is a nightmare and always has been.
Maybe I've just been lucky. *Counting my blessings*:A

Germ

jjef

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

My LO doesnt get much in the way of sweets, she never gets fizzy drinks etc, however my inlaws seem to try and feed her as much crap as possible. I asked them not to after i picked her up one day and she wouldnt stop crying/screaming which is really out of character, they had given her loads of sweets and it sent her properly loopy. They are much better than they used to be, they still give her a little more than i would like but as its only once in a while i doesnt annoy me as much as it used to.

G&B same here DD1 never had any fizzy juice until the inlaws had her when I went back to work, they were given some guidelines on what she ate/drank etc and one of them was no sweets/fizzy juice. one day when we collected her she was hyper couldnt stay still when asked what she had eaten was told the usual nothing shes not allowed, a little voice in the car home mentioned that she hadnt had her fruit but had had coke at lunch:mad: :mad:
This is going to seem harsh but a good side effect of MIL stroke is that she can't know feed them full of carp she gives them money for them to buy sweets i grab it and but in in their piggy banks henc ethe reason they now have some money of the own to take onholiday

Ches

Terrific Tuesday - Bathroom of Bubblovia and Sparkling Study
Level One
Clear the floors of clutter didn't have any
Open the windows and air the rooms yup did that
Level Two
Clean/vacuum the floors er no didn't do that
Shine the bath,bog,basins etc er no didn't do that either
Twinkle the tiles er no or that
Level three
Clean the toilet seat germs off the telephone, keyboard, mouse, monitor, sockets and switches
declutter the pc desk
Sparkle the mirrors and windows in these rooms
or any of these
Extras
did my ironing because I didn't have anything to wear

1. HHI still don't know what this is
2. HHG.. if your garden is already beautiful go out and enjoy it for half an hour!! loooks better from a distance ie upstairs window
3. fill the bath with lovely warm bubbles.. and get in it!!!!!! enjoy!!!!!!! had a quickie bath then went out to lunch with friends

[/quote]

Don't think I am quite getting the hang of this somehow!!!

pigpen

germish_se wrote: »

Pigpen I didn't realise you had 2 boys with problems, that must be tough work.
Horrible when you can't get a diagnosis either

I feel very lucky regarding my boys as they have always been very easy children - if we disregard the first 3 months when I never got to sleep or eat, but that's mostly because there was two of them at once and they were tiny so needed feeding ALL the time.
I find girls harder work, my niece (19) in particular is a nightmare and always has been.
Maybe I've just been lucky. *Counting my blessings*:A

Mine were all premmies (9-5 weeks).. and I agree the feeding is non-stop.. even with just 1!!

DS3 also had reflux so upchucked everything he ate, had episodes of apneoa (stopping beathing.. I just wanted to sound clever) and he was lactose intolerant.. I rushed him to A&E at 3 months when he first stopped breathing and even though I'd been saying for those 3 months he had something not right they said I was depressed (you think!) and neglecting him and not feeding him unless someone else was there.. 'failure to thrive' they put it under.. along with physical abuse and neglect! Then he had a massive reasction to the first lot of jabs and ended up back in hospital.. then back in for all the other jabs.. He was such fun.. depressed.. you think?? I can't quite understand myself why I had the 3 girls after him lol.. though if the older 2 had been boys I was not bringing them home!!!

pigpen

Ches wrote: »

Extras
did my ironing because I didn't have anything to wear

1. HHI still don't know what this is

Don't think I am quite getting the hang of this somehow!!!

erm.. half hour ironing... so you did do that!!

pigpen

ARGH!!! Ebay stuff is ending and I have tourettes in my refresh finger!!!!!!!!

refresh.... refresh.... refresh...

pigpen

YEAH.. £52 so far..

15 things ending later.. 9 already with bids..