Dancing through the rain with a smile and good cheer

Bubblesmum · 19 July 2017 at 11:44AM

The other titlel to this could be Dancing through the rain of debt and chronic illness but I am determined not to be negative.

I have had a diary before Life begins at 45, this was my first post on 28th July 2014 just shy of three years, and well life didn't begin and has been quite static.

I had high hopes.....

This is the 28th Monday I have been off sick due to my disability.

Rather than totally focusing on my ill health.

I wanted to begin to focus on positive things, to be proactive and regain some control in my life......... One area to do this is focusing on our budget and debt, especially as SSP is about a quarter of my salary.

I know that this year is going to be a turning point . I am determined that this will be life affirming.

I do count myself very privileged my OH and I live in a beautiful bungalow, over looking a water meadow near the Thames (was a little scary this year, when we became Noah's Ark, when the area flooded).

We have two cats , nice cars, the ability to go on holiday, heat andhave yummy food in our tummies.

However we have a reasonable amount of debt built up from making improvements on our home and escaping life for R & R.

We are also both disabled and so we do have many additional costs along the way, if we want to live life in a healthy way. We both qualify for DLA but we may loose this under PIP despite having life time awards due to CP (me) and triple amputee (OH).

Neither of us have worn our disabilities as who we are, we both have worked full time, in good jobs thanks to our parents refusing special schools in the 1970's and us getting fantastic academic educations.

Now my disability is impacting my health and I worry about our debt, and how I am going to be able to financially contribute to our lifestyle in the future.

So, this diary is about debt busting and exploring how I can creatively improve my income from home. (Going out to work is going to be severely restricted going forward).

Look forward to sharing my world to others .....

This summer I have become determined to change me just keeping my head above water ... so I think it is time to start a new diary.

Old friends I hope to see and look forward to new ones....

Deep breath here goes.....

Bubblesmum · 19 July 2017 at 12:04PM

My husband of 11 years, two cats and I live in a beautiful bungalow close to the Thames not far from the Big Smoke.

We bought it 12 years ago when we got together, merging two established houses into one, we have a relatively small mortgage compared to the value of the property. We have a good interest only mortgage, which although we dream to pay off ourselves, would be comfortably paid off either if we downsized or when it is time to inherit from a close relative.

If the latter sounds morbid, it is an open conversation with my remaining parent, who wishes to leave his disabled daughter securely off, and while alive he is very generous with supporting my disability needs.

While enjoying the beauty of my home and garden, we did need to do home improvements and currently have a large loan that ends next spring :T. Started when I was still working, it has caused, us to struggle to live on one salary at the moment.

Nearly every physical job in home and garden needs to be done by others s both OH and I have physical disabilities. Mostly we pay for help, from cleaning, gardening and odd jobs. I view this as helping others to earn a decent wage.

Despite the challenges I know I am blessed....

beanielou · 19 July 2017 at 12:13PM

Happy shiny new diary Bubblesmum

So looking forward to reading about your new adventures and your debt busting xxx

please-let-me-be-lucky · 19 July 2017 at 4:31PM

Excited for your fresh start BM Xx

Bubblesmum · 25 July 2017 at 11:22AM

Morning all...

Well you either laugh or you cry,

Before I could come back on here .....

Having had a really successful night directing, I came out of the building and went smack on tarmac.... Ouch!

I am now very crooked, and had hoped to get to London to the osteopath today but he is not in, so have to wait till Friday. Trying to put most of life on hold to aid recovery, and not to make it worst, but some things I am really committed to.

Here's my diary so far:

Thursday - spent doing the am Dram accounts in readiness for the auditor... I have yet to finish them but getting there.

Then SMACK :eek::eek::eek:, the lovely leading man picked me up

:o

Friday 21st - a slow day, more accounts and trip to the village, for library books, banking and cards as well as a coffee with the secretary of the Am Drams back to collapse in a chair, having to acknowledge I am very sore.

Saturday 22nd - Messy Church in the morning, which went ok and I was feeling good, so we decided to go on a lunch date to a lovely pub we found in the CAMRA guide and I had rhubarb gin - yum, we managed a spot of shopping in a mini C@@P and then I pursuaded OHto stop in to a small nursery for a few plants - success, Happy, having had a lovely afternoon, then disaster again!! The electronic hand break was stuck on and would not shift. :mad::mad:

5 hours later we returned by taxi, well two due to our wheelchairs as the car could not be recovered, on Saturday night, after two attempts with the wrong kind of assistance. :mad::mad::mad:

Sunday 23rd. Really struggling physically but had invited a houseful for a Christian Aid Was Up, OH was a star and it was a bring and chair nibbles - lovely afternoon despite feeling crap, with lots of left overs for us to eat

Monday 24th - Late start, Admin in the morning, but really struggling to concentrate, fell asleep in the chair after lunch. OH took me to Am Drams

and now sitting in the summer house, with a back that is :eek::eek::eek:but as Beanielou would say plodding on....

mary_hinge · 27 July 2017 at 1:30PM

Happy new diary Bm!

Sorry to hear about the faulty handbrake, I hope it isn't too difficult to fix!

Enjoy your summer!

Mrs H x

October_Starter · 28 July 2017 at 2:36PM

Happy new diary BM!!!

October xx

please-let-me-be-lucky · 28 July 2017 at 7:10PM

Sorry about your fall. Hope osteo sorted you out today Xx

beanielou · 28 August 2017 at 10:02PM

Hope you are ok & recovering from your falls.
Take care & keep plodding xxx

beanielou · 7 October 2017 at 9:16PM

Missing you.
Hope all is well with you.
Pop in & let us know how you are doing xxx

Bubblesmum · 18 February 2018 at 10:27AM

Dear Diary, Beanielou and anyone else that reads this !

In a snapshot - I got myself a job. In the early days I was so happy, I remember driving to work with a smile on my face. It was a small charity and I thought it was going to be great all round..... but did I when I got the job there was a little niggle at the back of my mind about the CEO and that evening although I celebrated well I didn’t feel care free.

Turns out that niggle was justified, and although I am still there I leave on the 27th.

Mixture of three things - 1. the job role not being right for me ( interview was focused on mentoring, coaching and employment) where as I have been on boarding - marketing mostly.

2. The is a new big lottery project and I am not sure whether it was really well though5 out and actually workable.

3. The CEO is a micromanager and as a manager I have nicknamed him Mr !!!! - when not managing he is ok, heart in right place etc... but someone at a party you would perhaps roll your eyebrows at, three piece suits, this week he wore tight jeans biker jacket and a scarf - he’s 54. He likes finer things in life, when he made us lunch and did sausage and mash he bought a £25 potatoes masher ( out of own pocket) for one meal :eek:

We are on an old nursery, office is a 1970s bungalow, often cold, the established project is horticulture courses for lose with learning disabilities.

When he is in a mood (often) staff have to wear tin hats.

Although not my line manager, we are a team of 7 so no where to hide.

My line manager, nice young woman, we’ve worked well together apparantl6 I am her work Mum :eek:. She had been mumbling that my probation would be extended because I was not getting outcomes... now that made me :mad::mad: as.

My role is 17.5 hours and the list of stuff to achieve would fill full time hours and more, I have raised this. No money in pot. Also raised concerns part of project not viable, after having external feedback from experts - not popular. I reflected what they wanted me to do, including 25, 5 minute cold calling phone calls each week. How I fittitted into th3 team. Everyone else works full time and works far longer hours than paid/contracted.

So Last week, having spent many anxious hours considering what to do, I handed my resignation in while still in th3 probationary period.

Relief all ro7nd I feel, and surprise surprise they ar3 r3configuring my role.

End of part 1

Dancing through the rain with a smile and good cheer

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