Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Pyxis · 13 August 2016 at 7:39AM

(((((((Calley))))))))))

Whatever happened?

Georgiegirl256 · 13 August 2016 at 8:39AM

So sorry to hear that ((((calley)))).

Seemed like you were getting on so well?

Hugs to you too ((((tea))))

I had a bit of a restless night and am feeling a bit bleugh this morning. Somethings happened to p me off and upset me, so bang goes my nice relaxing day. Well, I'll try, but it'll always be in the back of my mind.

calleyw · 13 August 2016 at 9:06AM

thanks guys.

No idea really. I thought something was not right for a week or two. Seems to be after his ex tore him off a strip. claimed he needed to get a grip. Went through that with my ex. I don't want someone keep coming in and out of my life. so wished him well and told him to delete my number. I have deleted his and all messages from him.

he wanted to see me over the weekend to talk. I agreed over the phone then texted him to say not to and said its done and dusted lets leave like it. i offered to give him space but did not seemed interested and he said something during the phone call about a relationship being over before his divorce came through. so in his head it was already over.

Why do so many men seem to let there ex's mess their lives up I never know. He seemed more concerned about his ex's opinion then hurting me.

Not happy about it as I really liked him. But best now then 6 months/a year or longer down the road.

Tired due to crap nights sleep.

Any way I probably be quiet for next few days. So don't panic I am fine.

hugs and squishes and hand shakes all round.

yours

Calley

whitewing · 13 August 2016 at 9:34AM

I really liked you liking him. Sounds like a timing issue more than anything else, calley. I think you are handling it well. (No consolation, I know).

We'll be in the fort for you.

faerielight · 13 August 2016 at 9:41AM

Thanks Waves and Messed

PENGUIN .. illness and food/weight

3
2
1

the doc thought 37 was young for meno which is why it's messed up my spine so bad.but also it was because my antibodies completely destroyed my thyroid and thyroxine didn't work, so I was on the wrong thyroid med for years, which caused the meno. Waves.. you have an auto immune disease too, don't you? is there anything that helps you to feel less ill?

I saw the doc this morning,she is lovely, I'm so glad I changed Gp practice.. I needed a good team of medics, and think she is more proactive than the make one so I'll stick with her, I think.
She said that this particular test result has been abnormal and getting progressively worse.. she looked at all my tests and traced this back to when I had sepsis/septic shock 5 years ago, and she is going to seek some advice from her peers. I have been feeling so dreadfully ill, since my last surgery, and particularly the last 3 or 4 months, she said such high chronic inflammation would def make me feel really poorly, so at least I know why. My whole body is chronically inflamed.. , asthma, sinus, belly, eyes,face rosacea, arthritis, and my liver , bowel and spleen too. She also said that tmy liver damage which was caused by the sepsis isn't helping at all with things.Apparently, with Post Sepsis Syndrome, a lot of people never recover fully physically from sepsis And she did confirm I tested very high for likelihood of strokes/heart diseases and cancers. She seemed a bit concerned that I might be developing another autoimmune disease like lupus.. I really hope not!!! I just want to get my health back to my "normal baseline" of illness! It comes to something when I crave getting back to my normal levels of m.e, arthritis , fibro and belly probs!! I really am so worried about my health, and dying and all that, and you're right Waves.. bpd does make is worrywarts, but It doesn't seem to bottom out, I acquire more illnesses and symptoms by the bucketload and it's s scary and my body feels so out of control.. Things I do need to do though for my health which I am not doing are: 1: sleep, sort out this sleep phobia somehow.2: I have to stop bingeing and lose weight, I have got so huge the last 6 months, I can't get on top of food, and 3, gentle exercise, . I'll never get my core strength back, but my gastro surgeon says it will help slow down the arthritis and osteoporosis, plus I'm slack with taking my calcium tablets, so I need to take those.

I was thinking about the serenity prayer a lot,talking to my friend who is in recovery on the beach yesterday. I focus on what I can't change way too much, especially when illness keeps taking more and more positive things away from me, but I need to change my mindset, and focus on what I can change!
plus I need to go to the bpd place more. as I really like it there, but it's hard to make myself go out when i feel so unwell.

PENGUIN END

I watched a documentary last night on Netflix, "Tony Robbins I am not your guru." I've listened to a few of his cds over the years and I thought it would be annoying and unrealistic positivity, , but it wasn't it moved me to tears when he asked if anyone was suicidal, and a beautiful young lady stood up, who had escaped from the children of god cult, and his response was amazing, .. It was so thought provoking and it has got me thinking .. I really recommend it as an inspirational documentary.

BPD is so hard, as you make positive changes and think they will stick but the old scripts and dynamics creep back in and it all turns to ....!

I'm relieved my rent prob is resolved, and I've had some more good news, my hospital complaint worked in that I will get to keep my surgeon, plus they have got me a date with the new head of abdominal diseases and he is also a head clinical commissioner for the hospital so he is the man for the job to make the hospital safer! it's middle of sept, so gives me time to get my agenda together

Pyxis · 13 August 2016 at 10:41AM

Faerie, that all sounds very positive!

Did you say your rent problem has been resolved? I must have missed that bit. That's good!

I have a suggestion about the lack of exercise.

I'm going to suggest you seek out and join a local rock choir, or at least a community choir.

DON'T say you can't sing! Everyone can sing, and these types of choirs are specifically for people who say "I can't sing!" There's no audition, you just turn up and join in.

Most people don't read music, most haven't had any singing or music experience since school, sometimes since primary school!

The benefits are:
#Exercise.......it's amazing how many muscles you use when you sing.
#It helps to strengthen the diaphragm too.
#It oxygenates the body.
#If you learn to smile while you sing, it improves the sound and causes brain chemistry changes which can lift mood.
#It gets you out.
#You meet new people. You don't have to talk much at first, because when you all start singing, you can't chat! So if you're nervous about meeting people, please don't be!
From all the singing hols I've been on, the tour reps all say that they prefer the singing groups to the other activity groups, because they are people that have to work together to achieve a result, are more tolerant and co-operative as a result, and, interestingly, more enquiring, but in a good way, ie, interested in new things etc. (Ok, you're always going to get the odd misfit that thinks they know it all!)
#Plus, you're using your brain!
# And music has proven benefits for brain chemistry.

I know that meeting new people scares you, but you went to the BPD group, so you CAN do it!

What you can try is to ring the organiser, say you're interested but that you have a problem with a room of new people, and ask if you could go along and listen in to a session.
Then if you like what you hear, tell the organiser you are very nervous and shy, and ask if she can allot you a choir-buddy who would be sympathetic and help you to join in.

It could change your life.

When I was unwell just recently, it was only the AmDram group, (which is musical AmDram) that got me out of the house once a week, and into the world. I had to go, because in my group, which is more than just a community group, if you miss too many sessions you wouldn't be allowed to perform, which is fair enough. Plus I have a couple of group responsibilities, which I didn't keep up terribly well, but managed to muddle through, as I couldn't let them down.

However, with most community choirs, it is very free and easy and you just turn up. Lots of them don't even require you to learn the songs by heart.

Please do look into it! Even if you just offer to make the tea the first two or three times!

Two bits of good news:

Firstly, it's only three weeks to POLDARK DAY! (swoon)

Secondly, I went out into the jungle early this morning and managed to clear a narrow path through the triffids to the other end of the garden, for the first time in months and months and months.
These plants self-seed like mad, and grow to 15feet in two years. This is their first year and some had grown to 5 feet. From the patio, you couldn't even see the ground, just a swathe if green canopies up to five feet tall. Luckily, all but the thickest stemmed ones are easy to pull up, but they are covered in tiny irritant hairs, so you have to be well covered up.

NowI can get through to the end, but there's still more to pull up, as they cover the whole garden, plus the bindweed has gone rampant.

Once up they will die quickly and then I can chop them up to go in the recycling bin, but it will take many weeks to get rid of them all that way. There's no way I want them in the car with those little hairs!

Only trouble is that my injured wrists can't do too much in one go.

However, I am sooooo pleased I was brave enough to make a start! My poor garden! Everything needs a prune as well!

I kept wondering if I'd find any dead bodies under these plants! Surprised there weren't any foxes, as in previous years they have enjoyed an overgrown garden!

I did find two missing watering cans though! :rotfl:

Once I've cleared the plants, then I'll replace my broken washing line so that I can hang stuff out again.

Sorry for the length of this! :beer:

calleyw · 13 August 2016 at 11:03AM

pyxis great to see you about again :j

I feel empty and bereft now. I want to pretend I did not have feelings for him. I finally felt things were starting to work out.

I am doing my best not to let it sideline me.

yours

Calley

Pyxis · 13 August 2016 at 11:38AM

calleyw wrote: »

pyxis great to see you about again :j

I feel empty and bereft now. I want to pretend I did not have feelings for him. I finally felt things were starting to work out.

I am doing my best not to let it sideline me.

yours

Calley

I think that after a break-up, a lot of men search out another relationship before they are really ready to. Women tend to want a breathing space, while men tend to want to leap into another relationship quite quickly.

It's understandable that this latest contre-temps with his ex had unsettled him, and caused mixed feelings. It's a shame you didn't take up his offer of having a talk, though. It might have explained a lot.
Out of interest, who finished the relationship with his ex, the ex or him? I am guessing it was the ex.

onomatopoeia99 · 13 August 2016 at 11:39AM

Hugs tea, and sorry I missed your post last night as I was going to bed.

Glad things are better with the new doctor Faerie.

Well done on tackling the garden Pyxis; the reason I'm sat at the computer right now is to avoid going out there and looking at the huge piles of hedge cutttings from the last two weekends that I need to get rid of :rotfl:. Made a start last Sunday but there's so much piled up :eek: (I went a bit mad with the loppers and two-stroke trimmer I bought, but the hedge was totally out of control before

).

calleyw · 13 August 2016 at 11:50AM

Pyxis wrote: »

I think that after a break-up, a lot of men search out another relationship before they are really ready to. Women tend to want a breathing space, while men tend to want to leap into another relationship quite quickly.

It's understandable that this latest contre-temps with his ex had unsettled him, and caused mixed feelings. It's a shame you didn't take up his offer of having a talk, though. It might have explained a lot.
Out of interest, who finished the relationship with his ex, the ex or him? I am guessing it was the ex.

he said they broke up at the start of the year. I think it was him.

Just don't get it, only last weekend he admitted that he had not so much fun and been treated so well in a long time.

I played it all cool never made a fuss about anything. At I still get messed about and hurt.

Not sure what talking to him would achieve really.

Yours

Calley

Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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