Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

daminescu wrote: »

I'm sorry, but you are all missing the point: since when is the gift and a wedding what the guest, and not about the bride and groom?! Shouldn't a guest be concerned with what the couple wants rather than what they want to give? I think it's very selfish. If you dont feel comfortable to give cash to a reception to which there is a hint that cash is the most appreciated gif, then don't go! And the mounts you are all talking about are ridiculously low, at least by NY standards. I dont know how it is in the UK, but I am just organizing a wedding at it comes out to $460/person, after we are doing flowers ourselves, no wedding planneer, arranging tables ourselves, and doing the ceremony outside to save on fees. So thinking about paying $50 (25 pounds) is ridiculous. Sure, I invited you because I'd like you there, but if you pretend to care enough about me to bring me a gift then show that you care about me, not about yourself. Otherwise, dont come.

I think it is you who are missing the point. It's interesting that you use the word "paying" when (please correct me if I've misunderstood your post) you appear to be referring to amounts given as gifts. Do you think you're selling tickets to an event rather than hosting a celebration to share with family and friends? The cost per head is irrelevant: the amount guests can afford will depend on their individual circumstances, and the extent to which they are willing to stretch their budget will depend on how well they know and like the couple, so you can't expect everyone to contribute their "share". It doesn't work like that, and if that attitude is common in America then I'm very glad indeed that I live in Scotland. Invitations and gifts alike should be given freely and with kindness, not regarded as some sort of fee or business transaction.
If the wedding is too expensive to host without expecting guests to pay for it, then more economising is required. I had a low budget wedding which I and my guests enjoyed very much. We didn't have a wedding list and only made suggestions for suitable gifts when asked, and while we made it clear that gifts of money were quite welcome we would never dream of asking for money instead of a more tangible gift. We received amounts ranging from about £20 to £175, as well as the usual selection of dinnerware, bedlinen etc. Some relatives paid for elements of the wedding as a gift, but it was their idea, not mine. My mum paid for the buffet, which was awful but that's not really so important: the quality of the company is more important than the quality of the food.
I like the idea of a bottle of champagne to christen completed home improvements. Loathe though I am to recommend evil Tesco, they currently have champers on half price offer at about £13.50 a bottle. I got an unexpected gift at my wedding reception after an aunt and uncle (who'd already bought us a vacuum cleaner) overheard me asking at the bar whether they had champagne and being told they'd none, so one of them sneaked out to the off-licence and bought us a bottle.

IWantToBeFree wrote: »

Very interesting read this....

I am getting married next July, and by then my partner and I will have been living togehter in our own house for over a year, and aside from needing to be decorated, we pretty much have everything we need for the house.

We had planned to ask for B&Q vouchers so we can decorate, we need to decorate pretty much every room, so obviously this would come in really handy. Cash would be even better as it gives us flexibility in where we can spend.


However, I don't want to send a gift list or anything similar, I don't want to ask people to give us what we want, I think in sending a gift list your almost making it a condition of acceptance. Its a strange one... I am going to a wedding this evening and the couple are in a similar position to use and they have asked for vouchers/cash and got a small gift list at Next. I wasn't offended by the gift list, made it easier if anything, but I just don't want to do it myself!

We are in a similar position and really need to redo our kitchen.

We have just sent the invites out without any list or mention of gifts in it. All our guests have to travel a fair distance and stay over night so it will be costing them enough as it is.

If anyone asks we are going to suggest vouchers or cash as apart from anything I don't want them to have to travel with parcels as well and we also have to get them home as we are 2 hours away from the venue ourselves. I didn't feel comfortable with putting anyone on the spot by putting it into the invites but can do so face to face.

we've just finished the invite pack, and it doesn't include a gift list. if people want to give us a gift i would rather they ask us and then we can explain that the only thing we really need is a new bathroom and therefore b&Q vouchers or money is the best choice. Why should we be forced to make a list of things we don't actually want but feel obliged to list just because someone doesn't like the idea of giving money - i'd rather they didn't bother. To be honest i don't expect anything from anyone i just want their company and hope they enjoy the day.
I understand it's not easy finding cash, i'm in the same position for my friends wedding at the end of this month, but that's what they need so they can enjoy lots of extra trips on their honeymoon, so i will try and find the cash.

whn we got married on the 30th may 2008 we did not have a gift list but put a little poem in each invitation:

we are sending you this invitiation
and hope you will join our celebration
if to send a gift is your intention
in modesty we would like to mention
we already have a kettle and toaster
dinner plates crockery and coasters
so rather than something we have already got
please send us money/vouchers for our savings pot
but most importantly we request
that you turn up as our wedding guest

this went down well and everyone gave us vouchers or cheques

i hope this helps
Bride on a budget