Apple muncher's number crunching

Off we trotted to the eye hosp and the whole expedition lasted 6 hours. Ooph. Basically, they can see the bit on dd's eye which is why the optician sent us on, but say it isn't affecting dd's vision. So, they have no idea what it is! We go back in 12 months. Already booked for 1st March 2018 :eek:

Dd was well fed up for most of the slog home, especially as we hit the rush. We got a seat to share for most of the tram journey, which helped improve her mood. We got off a stop early and walked home via the tree-lined path which was good for us both.

Things are mostly ready for tomorrow's trip. Some was done this morning, and I don't want to do much more in front of dd, as it'll upset her. She'll prob not fall asleep before 9.30 (and I'll be snoring myself 5 mins later) so I'd best get up early and do it then. I want to drop off dd and go directly on to the tram stop, as road traffic is dire at that time of day.

The rebate cheques have cleared, so I have already paid them off the mortgage.

Had a super journey up. Caught the tram, then train #1, a very brisk 10 min walk indeed and a run down the platform to train#2, a meander to train #3, and a good 40min walk, arriving 40 mins earlier than anticipated.

Caught up with big sis; found some ys gf rolls; found some jeans for £1.99; then walked to mum's. Thus far, the visit has been so far removed from my last one that it is almost unbelievable.

Determined to do my best, I got mum chattering about her early teaching career so much that she needed a lie down! Then we worked on a jigsaw and a lovely friend came for tea.

There have been very few tears, no obvious tetchiness, plenty of laughter. What a blessed relief!

Indeed, a roller coaster. A good morning, then in the afternoon I managed to really upset mum and she walked out in tears. We did get it all sorted and by the time her friend came for tea, we were friends again. What horrifies me was just how furious I became, totally ignoring the FACT that it is the dementia that has made her this way. I hope that I have learned a very salutory lesson.

I find it extremely difficult being away from dd (and dh, but to a much lesser extent ), yet here I am constantly reminded of how much big sis does and puts up with (from what I see myself, and from what other people tell me) - which makes me feel rotten that I don't do more to help her. I know that I simply cannot do more, without dd becoming very upset and distressed - and she is more precious to me than anything else. And there is my own (mental) health to consider.

So, what if mum doesn't like the care home; what if she refuses to go there; what if they have a stupidly long waiting list; what if she/they 'fail' the probationary period...

And we still have another 4 weeks for the results of the mri done on Jan 11th...

Thank you small. Work is just 'there'. I have a good set of groups this year and because they took the infant teaching off me (one of my conditions of returning to work) but were unable to reduce the amount of time I am at work by the same amount, I get 'extra' free periods. I'm not paid for them, mind, but it is extra time to get things done.

I am in a lovely school - still there after 15 years - and being a veteran of the place helps.

Best go and feed us. Mum was crying at 4.45, up at 5.45 and hasn't been back to sleep since. (Me neither...)