Real life MMD: Are my parents dividing the will fairly?

Arthog · 11 July 2012 at 2:25PM

If there is the risk of anyone contesting a Will, there is something nicknamed the Frank Sinatra Clause. He included a clause to say that anyone contesting his will would not inherit. That was the end of any arguments - one can only imagine how many years it would have gone on, otherwise.

I strongly agree with those who say that the OP's parents should enjoy their money while they are fit enough to do so!

littlerat · 11 July 2012 at 2:44PM

It's impossible to say to be honest. And I'm not sure there's a solution that will seem fair to all.

I also think if your parents married when your half siblings were adults, it's different to if your mother raised your half siblings as her own as much as possible for years. And in the former case, it also depends how close they are now.

I think your parents are in a awkward position no matter what.

tindella · 11 July 2012 at 2:47PM

It seems fair to me - your mother is not their mother so why should she have to leave them anything. They have a mother and it's her responsibility to look after them in her will.

As to intervention - no - nobody will thank you for it. It's their business, not yours.

JimmyTheWig · 11 July 2012 at 3:17PM

Marimaz wrote: »

My parents (who are in their 80s) initially wanted to leave a bigger share to myself and brother but after a family discussion they have left it equally to all 4 of us. This inheritance will make very little difference to 2 wealthy siblings but would have been a major help to myself and my brother. So although this is fair, it is also financially unfair as this will be the only possible inheritance that either of us will receive. I would be interested in what other readers might think.

I think this is the only fair way your parents could do it. They don't want to be changing their wills every time one of you has a change in circumstance.
I would like to think, however, that if the situation is still the same when the time comes that the wealthy two say they don't need the money and let the other two of you have it all between you.

I have 3 siblings. 2 of them are very wealthy in their own right and both have received large inheritances from their partners' family. One has 3 kids who are wealthy enough not to have to work full time and have a great life style.. The other wealthy sibling is retired, owns lots of property and has no children but has left everything he owns to his sisters son so as to make a difference to his life by NOT dividing up and diluting the amount he will receive. Myself and a brother have 3 children each and we are both on the breadline.

I'm confused by this.
Your wealthy brother has three siblings who each have three children. And he has chosen to leave everything to _one_ of those nephews?

Victoria270385_2 · 11 July 2012 at 3:30PM

I am a step mother, i have no maternal feelings for my step son, he is my husbands child who i see every weekend for a few hours. Having said that I will insist when the time comes of writing wills that he is treated as an equal part of our family if myself and my husband have children of our own. No child of mine will get more than my step son as he is my family. I agreed to marry my husband and take on his son as my own. Im not bothered that he already has another mother who will probably leave him stuff in her will. Whatever me and my husband have at the time we both pass will be passed on to whatever children we have. If when the time comes my stepson is the only child, i will happily allow everything to be left to him (assuming we have always been on good terms).

Cloudane · 11 July 2012 at 3:37PM

Girly_Girl wrote: »

It is your parents' decision as it's their money. I believe that no-one should expect anything from a will - it's a gift, not a right!

This.

Plus, the question of "what will I get out of you when you kick the bucket?" always seems a horrible vulture-like one to me (whatever it is wouldn't bring them back), and one I never wish to ask. This kind of stuff sadly brings out the worst in people

Victoria270385_2 · 11 July 2012 at 3:43PM

my parents are sitting on a very nice house worth about £200k which they have said will go to my brother and myself, i would much prefer my mum n dad sell up, they buy the house my mum has always and wanted and just enjoy their life. Knowing my parents lived a full happy life would be a bigger gift to me then any money they could give me. They raised me, what more could i ask for.

gfplux · 11 July 2012 at 3:49PM

What I find disturbing are the number of posters who have NOT made a will.

Victoria270385_2 · 11 July 2012 at 3:51PM

ive not got one as ive nother to leave anyone. The only thing i own is an old banger which is ready for scrapping lol

turtlemoose · 11 July 2012 at 4:28PM

Another vote here for "their wills, their choice".

It might not be viewed as "fair" but ultimately if they want to leave 50% to only one child and nothing to the others and the other 50% to a cat sanctuary...well then so be it, it's their money.

Real life MMD: Are my parents dividing the will fairly?

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