Real life MMD: Are my parents dividing the will fairly?

Cags53

It's your mother's money so she should decide. If the half siblings were brought up by your mother and father then perhaps it is a little unfair in their eyes but would you expect anything from their mother?

Marimaz

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I think this is the only fair way your parents could do it. They don't want to be changing their wills every time one of you has a change in circumstance.
I would like to think, however, that if the situation is still the same when the time comes that the wealthy two say they don't need the money and let the other two of you have it all between you.


I'm confused by this.
Your wealthy brother has three siblings who each have three children. And he has chosen to leave everything to _one_ of those nephews?

Sorry meant to say his sister in law (wifes sisters son)

Talent

Do not get involved, even if you are asked. Do not give an opinion to your parents, nor to anyone else. Accept what your parents do without comment to anyone, I mean anyone.

JimmyTheWig

Marimaz wrote: »

Sorry meant to say his sister in law (wifes sisters son)

Oh, I see.
Sort of makes sense if the money originally came from this boy's grandparents.

rushingwind

What a mine field. A will is a must thats for sure!

My mum died leaving my aunt to sort out their mothers (my grans estate). I was very close with my gran and she decided not to put in her will that her house should be shared half to my aunt and half to my brother and i. She said she would leave it to my aunts good character ... the house isnt sold yet so we shall see. Im not that bothered as it was her decision even after id advised her and we had the best time while she was here and in good health into her 90s.Money doesnt make you happy.
Also i have 2 step children who have their mum(who has a partner with no children)and they will both leave everything to them. So i dont see why i should also give my money to them (my childrens father died). My partner will probably want to leave half to his children and half to me which is fine but his children will be well enough catered for without me. These are very personal decisions unique to each person and should be respected.....be lucky you get a penny

Topaz_1974

A.Jones wrote: »

I remember a similar situation with my grandmother. She wanted to skip a generation, and leave money only to grandchildren. She had two daughters, my mum and my aunt. My mum had three kids (inc me) and my aunt only one. She wanted to leave 1/4 each to each grandchild as she saw this as fair between grandchildren. My aunt was furious, saying it is unfair that her children only get 1/4 and my mums children get 3/4. She hasn't died yet (luckily for us), so I don't know what the resolution was.

My partner's elderly parents did much the same thing, they are both still alive but decided to split a substantial inheritance they received from a relation between their two grandchildren. His parents have three grown-up children so two of them (including my partner) received nothing. My partner and I are also now expecting our first child. I wonder if that would have altered their position though I suspect not. My partner's mother is now in residential care and the father is still at home but has many problems of his own. Guess who are the children who are taking everything to do with their care? The two of course who received nothing. And guess who has yet to visit either of them? The two grandchildren of course. It makes my blood boil. Not because I want or need anything from them but I just think it should be split between their three children and then how they decide to distribute their share should be up to them. Plus the attitude of the family that received the funds leaves a lot to be desired. Families!!

troubleinparadise

My parents did this. Thus our half-sister, from our father's first marriage, gets a 20% share of the residue, and my sister and I 40% each.

Our parents had mirror wills, but Mum being the goodly soul she was didn't change things after Dad's death, as she could quite easily have done without anyone being the wiser.

I'm quite happy with their decision - I take the view that anything more than I had yesterday is a bonus. Thanks Mum and Dad!

shortjennifer

My husband and I have five children between us - he has two and I have three. We will leave everything to each other and then when we are both gone everything will be divided equally between all five with no differentiation. There may not be much to share if it has all been spent on our care needs in old age!
This is our decision and we do not expect to have discussions/opinions shared with anybody else. We do, however, want to treat all our children equally. It is interesting that the person who seems keen to see a different arrangement would be in a position to gain from that. It would be nice if everybody spent more time thinking about the relationships involved rather than the loot!

stmartinsdiver

Your parents decision is fair and logical and it is what they want to do with their money that matters, so stand aside and do not try to influence the outcome.

troubleinparadise

And to be Devil's Advocate here - there may be nothing left by the time old age and the care home bills have been paid..... So you may be worrying about nothing.

It's no good thinking there's going to be a tidy sum coming my way a few years down the line if it's been spent already!

A Will can say what it likes, but if the diamond ring Granny said she'd leave you has disappeared over the years then that's tough..... it's only what's left at the end of the story that can be distributed.