Real life MMD: Are my parents dividing the will fairly?

cazpanda

I think thats perfectly fine. A step Mother myself, my husbands child has always lived with her Mother and never really had much to do with us. Me & my husband have always had joint accounts and shared everything equally treating our money as one. However, in the event of a will as we have 3 children of our own I would want them to have everything but as he has his child then I would want everything halved then if he wanted he could give an amount to her. Maybe we should write a will then thinking about it!!

ammiLy

It is your parents money/assets and they can divide them whichever way they see fit. It is your mums right not to leave anything to your step-siblings. Regarding what each of your parents brought into the family financially I think it only applies if they are together for a short time and come from extremely different financial backgrounds, otherwise their shares are equal (surely mum's input over the years will not be valued less because she missed work bring up children?!).
I don't think it is being materialistic talking about such things, it is being realistic. If you avoid the subject it might get so much more difficult when parents pass away (their assets will be there weather you talk about it or not) and then it is children left to sort out who gets what and that can get very messy and expensive! The answer is for the parents to talk to the children so that everybody knows what their last will is, learns to accept and respect it so that at the end of the day you are not left with the mess. Plus make sure it is legally very tight so that nobody can find loopholes and exploit them.
There was a show on tv (Can't take it with you(?)) about this sort of stuff and I thought it was brilliant and taught people involved a lot, recommend looking it up online.

bogwart

It's their money and their will. Why do you feel you are entitled to make suggestions? To what extent you and your siblings benefit is up to them, not you.

In their position, if a matter like this became a subject of argument, I'd leave everything to the Dog's Home or some other charity.

Be grateful for what you get.

Marimaz

I think you parents are being very fair as there is still a chance that your half siblings can inherit from their mother and if they dont then the problem is with their own mother, not you. It is not always totally financially fair but this solution certainly seems morally fair. I have 3 siblings. 2 of them are very wealthy in their own right and both have received large inheritances from their partners' family. One has 3 kids who are wealthy enough not to have to work full time and have a great life style.. The other wealthy sibling is retired, owns lots of property and has no children but has left everything he owns to his sister in laws son (ie his wifes nephew) so as to make a difference to his life by NOT dividing up and diluting the amount he will receive. Myself and a brother have 3 children each and we are both on the breadline. I am a single parent and have worked all of my life and my adult children are suffering enormously because of the recession and reductions in wages. My parents (who are in their 80s) initially wanted to leave a bigger share to myself and brother but after a family discussion they have left it equally to all 4 of us. This inheritance will make very little difference to 2 wealthy siblings but would have been a major help to myself and my brother. So although this is fair, it is also financially unfair as this will be the only possible inheritance that either of us will receive. I would be interested in what other readers might think.

Susannon

All inheritances issues are extraordinarily difficult and leave people often feeling neglected or hard done by.
I think your parents have found a fair way of sorting this out.
If the half-siblings mother were to win the lottery, say, would she leave money to you in her will? I think we know that the answer to that is no.
Therefore why should the half-siblings inherit from your mother, when you clearly wouldn't inherit from theirs?
You can hold property 'in common' which allows for people to leave their half share of a house, for example, to their own children as their half share of everything in a marriage is theirs to distribute as they will.

killick_becki

This is something that your parents should discuss and communicate their reasoning to all involved. If there is annoyance from your half siblings then they should bring that up with your dad.

Personally, I have a half sibling and he will be receiving a full share of all assets if anything happened to either of my parents. This is mainly because he has been around all my life, we have lived as a family and he isn't in contact with his father. But this decision was made by my parents, then communicated to us.

I certainly don't feel like I am being "done over" by not getting a larger share.

shellsuit

I think you should let them get on with it and do what they want with their money and assets.

If the other get jealous, let them. If it's one thing I can't stand, it's people who whine and cry that their share is not good enough. Deaths and wills bring out the worst in people, it's disgusting to witness!

I'd rather have the person alive and well, than their cash!

I'm an only child but still hope my Mum sells her house so she can enjoy life to the full!

WEEDONS_WINE

I think it is entirely their decision. Of course, it might all be consumed to keep them in their old age.

It very much depends how much each party contributed. Did your father totally support your half siblings to the extent he did you? Maybe their mother had to heavily subsidise living costs for them if he only paid statutory maintenance which could account for why she does not have much in the way of assets herself.

Did you all have the same educational opportunities at your parents expense?

Did your mother have lucrative employment thus contributing to the bank balance or was your father the sole breadwinner. If so, were your half siblings and their mother living the same standard of living at your father's expense?

If it were the other way round, would you still hold the same opinion?

Let them get on with it and hopefully by the time the will is read you will have made your own fortunes and would prefer to still have them around rather than any inheritance.

Money isn't everything.

nczm

I agree with the comments to let your parents makes their own decision, however depending on your relationship with your half-siblings I would make sure your parents are clued up about what would happen if said siblings contested the will... this happened to my dad when his aunt died, her husband (already deceased) had children from a previous marriage - she had none so left everything to her nephew.

As there was no relationship between my dad and his half cousins, they caused a lot of issues and contested the will, all was resolved but not to the standard originally set out in the will.

scrum2987

I was put in a similar situation a couple of years ago. My father remarried and my step-mother has two daughters (I'm an only child). They told me that their estate would be split equally three ways. I dont think this is fair as I am my fathers only child, and to be honest as they still live in the house I grew up in I think I should automatically inherit it. Now I stand to have only a third.

My Grandmother (fathers mother) was furious when she found out and threatened to change her Will to cut my father out and put me in his place. I dont know if she did this and im not going to ask.

I wish they just didnt tell me as it just brings bad feelings.