Debt Free - Let's do this!! Medical related!!

Morning guys, I've got up this morning and finally realised that it's a time to do something about the money situation. With regard to this, It's going to be quite difficult because I'm having health issues (stress, anxiety, depression) at the minute. Not as bad as other people but I still am struggling with it, I've had a very turbulent few months where I've gone from a stable steady job to being on my 2nd job in 1 month and beginning to have a recurrence of the same issues there that I have at my previous job and again at Sainsbury's.

For anyone who would like to read up on what has happened, it's all here:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=313417

That basically outlines the problems that I have had, there are tonnes really, everytime I speak about it, it gets worse, and there seems to be less of a reason behind it and no real triggers everytime it occurs. I really want to work, and go back to earning money without having to worry, but, I know that I need to get better, to get better I dont need any stress about work, I need to take some good time to get myself right otherwise this will go on and on.

The problem is that it's a catch 22 situation:

I want to work, always have been a worker

I have to go to work to earn money to pay off car loan etc.

Going to work at the minute is not helping my state of mind (good and bad days)

If I don't work, things don't get paid

BUT my mental state becomes worse / doesn't get better, so potentially there is a risk that it won't get better because the problem keeps recurring.

So that's the dilemma, naturally the worries cycle through your head that if you dont work then everything will get repossessed and CCJ's will be applied to the account and it all goes wrong. BUT I dont think like that, or try not to, its about capitalising on a state of mind. I've woke up quite positive today (off work today at least, probably longer) so I want to start feeling like I'm in control of things.

I have a few triggers for my state of mind, usual ones are feeling like a failure because I cant work and I want to, not achieving in work (tax office is dire), why did I end up like this, how come i have no money, but the main worry behind everything is money I guess, as it always is for most of us.

I guess to a certain extent I feel guilty too, stress for me isn't what I have, proper stress is some of the folks on here who don't have 2 ha'pennys to rub together but yet manage to feed and clothe an army of kids, run a house and have 2/3 jobs all at the same time. That's stress! :rotfl: My hat is literally off to some of you guys, I have so much respect for you.

I spend a lot of time on here nowadays, I've gone from reading, to posting in my own threads to now gain confidence to post advice in others, It's something I dont feel qualified to do sometimes because of the state of my own life but it makes me feel like i'm giving something back.

Nicely, onto my money problems, I've posted a few threads in the past, but now it's time to actively take this one onto the next level, I cannot go on like this, both in my personal life (worry about everything) and with the money situation. It's getting beyond a joke now about just how bad I am with the cash, I want to start paying some things off and actually working for some proper money, not to see it pay off the overdraft every month for the past 2 years.

Additionally, I'm aware that I need to get better, I may have to go part time / reduced hours to ensure that I am fit and ready to take up full time work at some stage soon, I cannot go on in the cycle of forcing myself into work because it will get to a stage where I will get so bad I will not be able to work for 6-12 months because I've just ignored the advice / warning signs. I dont want it to get to the stage where I cant get out of the house.

Onto money, contracts / finance agreements signed when times were good, good job with Sainsbury's, just become a trainee manager, no chance of redundancy (everyone needs food) etc etc etc. We never know what's around the corner do we? I guess with hindsight we would never be in debt, never make a mistake and generally this forum wouldn't exist! :rotfl: :rotfl:

Sadly, it all went wrong in Sept (I wont bore you, its in the other thread ) and from then on it's been finding out what I wanted to do after deciding that retail wasn't for me. So I've had a bit of a wage from one place, bit of a wage from another and generally just had a terrible recent few months, I used to spend a lot of money as we do when we are young and stupid, never saved anything and just continued to max out my overdraft. I now realise that we should always be in the best financial state because we never ever know what will occur with our health, and that is the most important thing after our family. :T

So, we are that the stage where I will get paid a wage from IR at the end of the month, I'm currently trying to get on at ASDA / Morrisons for Christmas, as even though its another job change, its what I know with it being retail and something that I will be able to do well at and chuck myself into whilst earning money. I just feel that I need to be in control of things again, and not go 7 days without checking internet banking again (:mad: )

So, I take it we need a S.O.A? I'll have a look around to see what people put in their's and then I'll work out what I have to go in mine! What should I include in it? Everything that I owe + DD's?

Anything else we need? Start to keep a spending diary? Anything else?

I really need to do this, If I know that I am in control of my finances, I can start to work out how many hours I can do and slowly build that up, at the minute I just need as much money as possible, that isn't right. That isn't being in control!