what do you expect ur man to do around the house?

glamourpuss1979 · 1 March 2009 at 10:28PM

hi, i've been maried for 13 yrs this year and feel like i just took over from his mother,we have 2 children,he is great with them but does very little in the house to help...i do EVERYTHING!!! he is self employed but most of his work is for family so earns very little money...i am the main earner.
ladies...what do u expect of your husband/partner...how much do you make him do for himself ie. washing clothes,making food.

men....what do you think??

jackomdj · 1 March 2009 at 10:31PM

My OH does his "fair shair", now at different times this has involved differing amounts of help.
At the moment he is working away during the week, he arrives home Fri eve & goes Sun lunchtime. So I do the dishes, cook the childrens food, washing, cleaning...all he does is cook our evening meal, look after our youngest whilst I take the eldest to ballet, he cleaned the car this weekend & tidied up downstairs whilst I did bath time.
Usually he will cook (& I do the dishes), he will do the bins, hoover (whoever is around), dishes during the day, load washing machine (for some reason he hates hanging it although will if I am busy)....
I really think it depends upon our current circumstances as to how much he does. I am very lucky as he is very house proud & likes to help keep it looking it's best.
HTH
Nicky

McKneff · 1 March 2009 at 10:34PM

I would expect him to help with everything in the house. Its too easy at the beginning of a marriage to take over the role of the little housewife and managing household things. They will let you do it all if you allow them to.

We have always shared house responsibilites and tomorrow we celebrate our 41st wedding anniversary, god that makes me sound so old but we married young:D

maggie21 · 1 March 2009 at 10:39PM

You say you are the main earner, but does he work more hours than you?

We do a fairly equal share of the household chores. One week I may do more, but the following DH may do more, just depends what we have on.

I think if DH could get away with it, he would do very little, but I work as many hours as he does so it's not up to me, to cook, clean and wash for us both.

Hope you get something sorted out.

tanith · 1 March 2009 at 10:42PM

If both of us were working OH would do his fair share of everything and did so when I was still working, now I am retired through ill-health I do mostly everything in the house and garden.. He works very long hours and hopes to hang on to his job till he retires in 6 yrs...
I don't mind now I have all week to do things in my own time and I enjoy the garden and cooking very much.. he of course will help if I ask but I tend not to as I know he is finding the long hours a strain but never moans about it..

money_maker_3 · 1 March 2009 at 10:44PM

My OH is a stay at home dad and does most of the cleaning cooking etc.. but I do all of the ironing and cleaning the bathrooms is my job too as he hates it !!!

I think each relationship should have give and take and a bit of compromise, so if you think he is not doing enough, then talk to him and come up with a solution. It has taken us a while to get this organised , but we started with a rota and have now got into a really easy routine.

Good Luck

glamourpuss1979 · 1 March 2009 at 10:46PM

we married young too,i was 17 and he was 18. we have had countless arguements about him helping around and also encouraging our kids to tidy up after themselves but he never does it. today i came home and it was like a bomb site. i really am sick of it. i have stopped washing his clothes to see what he does...sometimes i leave something like if he has a drink and leaves the cup on the table, to see how loong it will sit there....it would sit forever more. how do i get around this? if i say anything he says i'm nagging!

glamourpuss1979 · 1 March 2009 at 10:51PM

i work more, but it's shift work and can be comming in very late. when our kids (now 12 and 8) were younger (about 4 yrs ago) i started working full time as i could earn more so he was a stay at home dad. he still hardly did anything apart from playing! which has it's good points, but after all the cooking and cleaning and bathing kids at night and home work plus working 40hr wk, i was exhausted!! things are easier now as my hours are less and i can tidy through the day but the situation is the same!

money_maker_3 · 1 March 2009 at 10:53PM

glamourpuss1979 wrote: »

we married young too,i was 17 and he was 18. we have had countless arguements about him helping around and also encouraging our kids to tidy up after themselves but he never does it. today i came home and it was like a bomb site. i really am sick of it. i have stopped washing his clothes to see what he does...sometimes i leave something like if he has a drink and leaves the cup on the table, to see how loong it will sit there....it would sit forever more. how do i get around this? if i say anything he says i'm nagging!

Bribery ???:rotfl:

Seriously, I can understand, me and OH were 19 and 22 when we started living together and had our DD a year later. He was impossible to get to do anything as he was used to being a mummys boy who did not have to fend for himself.
I tried all the normal talking, shouting, pleading and leaving it too see if he noticed the mess !!! None of which worked. (we both worked full time at this point!)

I then gave him an ultimatum of helping me round the house, or no sex !!!:eek:
No surprises there then, the house was tidied, but this only lasted for a few weeks !!

I made out a rota of all the things that needed done on a daily, weekly and monthly basis and put it on the cupboard door. Asked him to pick x number of things he thought he could do for the week and put his name beside them and at the end of the week showed him how many I had done in comparison to him !!!

A couple of weeks of this and he started to feel a bit ashamed of himself for leaving most of it to me as well as having the baby, and he started doing a lot more !!

(having just re-read that, it looks like I treated him like a child !!!):rotfl:

glamourpuss1979 · 1 March 2009 at 10:57PM

thanks so much guys...i'm seeing the funny side of it too!! i like ur idea money maker...i think i may try it..(both ideas that is lol!)

ceebeeby · 1 March 2009 at 10:58PM

Been living with OH for 14 years, and he was totally molly-coddled by Mum and ex-wife before I got my hands on him!!!

After many years of careful training he does all his own washing and ironing, hoovers and dusts. Will wipe down the kitchen (but I do it better). He doesn't cook, but I don't mind. He does fair shares on all children related 'chores' and will do the majority of the garden ... but he still, even after all this time, tries to weedle out of things if he can!!

what do you expect ur man to do around the house?

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