i did it! Ive jsut become a single mum - HELP ME!!!!

hi, im sorry to hear this, it does get better, ive been throught a painful breakup and thought it wouldn't get easier but it does. If you need to talk pm me

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Im a male so my views will be different, but..

I think he was probably asked to goto the pub after the course with his friends, its nice to get out and running home straight away makes you seem like a geek and mixing with others is hard over the age of 18yrs old. He probably wanted to fit in.

Once he was in the pub, he thought that ihe was late in getting back so he would of had some grief when he got home, from there you knew he was going to be late, or in the pub and wound yourself up. Your partner probably agreed to be going out all night, just did not want to tell you and has would you up as expected to make it right for him to go to his mums,

Meanwhilst, i would text him that he can come home when he wants, and when he arrives home act like nothing has happened, them tomorrow make it a fresh start..

I would recommend a week away somewhere, have a fresh start and go from there.





Alias :beer:

I'm female but I agree with Alias. Is it worth spliting up for the sake of him coming home late from the pub? I realise there is possibly more to it than that but perhaps you could both step back and think of your child and how you want him brought up. Is he really better of in the long term without his dad and living in a single parents family with all that that entails. Educational statistics would suggest not.
Does he go to the pub every evening? Perhaps you could agree to him going out 2 evenings and then you go out - or both go out together if you don't socialise easily.
Good Luck

hi sammy kaye - good luck to you - I know the past few months have been a bit of a struggle. Even if he does try to come back give yourself a couple of weeks on your own to think things through. Don't forget the Old Style Board for helping with making ends meet - best wishes

Look, I don't know what age your son is but are you depressed? Seriously, I understand you are at your wits end with this man but I got the feeling it was something more. Cool off, don't talk to him in anger. None of us know the background to the situation but generally there are 2 sides to any relationship breakdown. Look at your boy and consider did you once think you would spend the rest of your life with his dad. If it went wrong you need to analyse it.
I have been with my husband for 21 years, we have had the most dreadful rows but somehow we have struggled through. It really is a rollercoaster, big highs and lows but I do love him to bits. In the end up GENERALLY I couldn't imagine life without him. The lows are awful but worth getting through and each time we bounce back we learn from it.

Alias, no need for that! You have a very negative view of women - generally gained by the way you treat them.

Sammy

I was very much like you several years back. Not trying to influence you but I just want to say it is the best thing I ever did. It is rarely better to stay together for the sake of your child (who looks adorable in your avvy!)

I like you had the same treatment from my other half and it did get to the point where I felt like I had lost the will to go on (almost!) Since leaving I have started a successful business, bought a house, car, got rid of lots of debt and am studying at University. I think my kids are so much happier not being around the awful mess we got ourselves into.

Sounds easy but try and be positive. Use the time you have to do things that will improve you and your sons lives, however small it may seem. Take each day at a time and PM anytime you need support. Its hard but you can get through it.

Dido

xxx