Does any have, or have had, au pairs?

Zara33 · 25 February 2007 at 11:48PM

Yeah its her first au pairs job, but I don't think she's a "kiddy" person.

I don't really like young children, my own gives me migraine after an hour, I have hardly any patience and would rather be at work, I prefer them when they get to 4+ and then I'm okay but that is why i dont sit at home because I know I can't stand it. She has almost as little patience as I have and she's chosen this career!

:eek: :eek: :eek:

He's quite noisy and hyper (Apparently just like I was as a child, and his Dad too) and she constantly telling him to sit down and be quiet. It's like being noisy is being naughty, which I don't agree with. He asked a lot of questions, mainly "Buy Why?" and this seems to annoy her after 3-4 times.

:eek: :eek: :eek: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm speechless words are beyond me at this moment in time.

Zara33 · 25 February 2007 at 11:59PM

I need her around for medical reasons, incase I blackout it is to ensure my 3 y/o doesn't burn the house down or run out onto the main road etc. Once he's in bed or at the in-laws for 2 days this isn't a problem. Yes, I could blackout and injure myself but that's a risk I'm willing to take rather than to have someone at my side constantly.

You need a carer not an au pair if your as bad as you claim!
!!!!!!!!! you are happy enough to risk injuring yourself and your child for the sake of not having someone watch over you

Does she go to toddler groups? No. She sits in and watched Nick Jr all day, with an occassional break to the duck pond. I didn't like saying anything because I didn't want to upset her or sound pushy, but I dont like DS sat in watching telly day in day out. I've hinted that there is a group 9-11 down the road on a Thursday but the hint doesn;t seem to have gone in.

erm excuse me for my ignorance but whose the boss here?

I think you seriously need to sit down and take a good look at your options, your child should be your number 1 priority, and if this means reducing your work hours then so be it.

missk_ensington · 26 February 2007 at 12:03AM

Well what am I supposed to do, she's here for another 9 months??

I am exaggerating slightly, she is great with him when she wants to be, like I said she's arty and has spent time with him making a laptop like Mummies out of shoe boxes and stickers etc, and does try to bake cakes, its not her fault she can't cook but does try!

I'm positive she is fine looking after DS - he would certainly make it known to me if he didn't like her since he makes it known to me everyone/everything else he doesn't like, including nursery. He's quick to seek her out in the mornings and weekends (I try to stop him to give her some space) and nothing has changed in nhis behaviour, so I'm confident most of the time she's fine, but I guess like us all, after several hours of being stuck in with a noisy kid it must grate on your nerves after a bit?

missk_ensington · 26 February 2007 at 12:06AM

PS. I cannot reduce my work hours, I only do 16 hours a week and I do a full time degree. If I reduce my hours below 16 I will lose around £100 a week Working Tax credits which just isn't an option. Even if I reduced my hours, what am I going to do? I have less patience than she has. Im not ashamed to say that being a sit-at-home mum makes me clinically depressed, I've done it and the doc had to put me on prozac.

As for having a carer - yes she is now formally my 'personal assistant' however I recruited her BEFORE i claimed the direct payments so its too late now. When she's finished her term I'll replace her for a carer perhaps, but I cant for the next 9 months. Plus I don't know any carers on standby 24/7 who earn £50 a week. Proper carers would want £12 an hour, a egency carer would not give me that flexibility I need nor the amount of hours I need. I need someone on hand from 6pm - 9pm Mon-Fri and all weekend - not necessarily two paces away from me all weekend but in the house when I'm in the house.

On those hours a qualified carer would be costing £300+ a week.

Rachie_B · 26 February 2007 at 12:07AM

But she doesnt have to be "stuck in", TELL her the places / groups / classes you want her to take him to and make sure she does !

Its not fair he should be stuck in all day with someone who doesnt seem hugely interested in children, while his mum works

Zara33 · 26 February 2007 at 12:09AM

I am exaggerating slightly, she is great with him when she wants to be

,

you exaggerated as to how crap your au pair is.
Personally i wouldn't be happy but that's just MY OPINION.

Zara33 · 26 February 2007 at 12:12AM

missk_ensington wrote:

PS. I cannot reduce my work hours, I only do 16 hours a week and I do a full time degree. If I reduce my hours below 16 I will lose around £100 a week Working Tax credits which just isn't an option. Even if I reduced my hours, what am I going to do? I have less patience than she has. Im not ashamed to say that being a sit-at-home mum makes me clinically depressed, I've done it and the doc had to put me on prozac.

You do not have to sit at home 24/7 try doing things with your child, money plays an important part in your lifestyle more so infact than your child.

sarahlouise210 · 26 February 2007 at 12:12AM

For DLA purposes ..having someone to care for you (ie your Au pair) is YOUR carer..ready to intervene if necessary while YOU look after your child...however this is not really the case is it .. this Au pair is there to care for your child while you are at uni..work etc ..therefore not there in case you blackout..but mostly there as a childminder! if you feel it is not necessary once he is in bed then you do not need a live in carer - I suspect you did not enter on your DLA form (or direct payment request) that you did not need or want the au pair in the evenings or weekends! I have a child of similar age - I lose consciousness regularly ...I do not stop worrying once she is in bed - even a child that normally sleeps through can wake up! Your previous posts on how easy it is to "fake symptoms" for DLA purposes makes me ponder on the whole situation....after all..you say you have to have an au pair paid for to supervise your child in case you have a blackout and he is in danger...yet you have a car...!!Do you not feel he (and others) are in danger of you possibly having a blackout while you are driving????? All this aside ...... seeing as you do not actually need her with you ..of course you could leave her on a Friday night.

Zara33 · 26 February 2007 at 12:19AM

I need someone on hand from 6pm - 9pm Mon-Fri and all weekend - not necessarily two paces away from me all weekend but in the house when I'm in the house.

Why do you only need a carer for 3 hours in the evening and all weekend, do you pay your au pair £50 a week?

missk_ensington · 26 February 2007 at 12:25AM

This thread is not for me to justify my illness, it is to ask other people who have had au pairs how much time they spend with them and where they would gage the employee/friend barrier.

DLA is nothing to do with my au pair whatsoever, and for Direct Payments I have had an in depth assessment where they have agreed I need live in care as my nearest family is over 70 miles away and in the possibility of an emergency I'd be stuck without someone on hand.

I have never blacked out sat/laid down, thus I can continue to drive. In fact, not driving ant getting from Yorkshire suburbs to uni 70 miles away would probably cause a blackout in itself carrying 6x 1200 page anthologies.

Finally, Yes it is easy to fake syptoms for certain illnesses, such as blackout, back pain.... So what? So making an honest observation that people can easy fake syptoms means that I am as right as rain?? I am okay, other than intermittent blackouts, however one blackout could be thet one occassion my 3 year old runs out onto the main road outside and is killed.

Does any have, or have had, au pairs?

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