The New Me And Our Quest To Become Debt Free And Have Self Belief

spud30 · 5 February 2007 at 10:23PM

southernscouser wrote:

How you doing? :cool:

I'm good ta hun, how are you

lou_lou_skinty_poos · 5 February 2007 at 10:44PM

just wanted to say OH MY GOD !!!!!! :eek:

kick that excuse of a mother right out of ure life!!!

blow her sky high tell your husband and your dad!!!!

dont give her any warning i am so shocked that a mother could behave this way towards her daughter i know shes your mum but to me whats shes done to you is just plain evil.

and more importantly i know you love your kids and banning her from your life would be just as much for their good as itis for yours. you've said yourself shes f***ing with your sons brain how sick does a person have to be to try and make a kid say he loves them more than his own mum!!!!:mad:

from the bottom of my heart i hope you can get away from her have a happy life pay your debts and enjoy ure family.

DO NOT GIVE HER ANYMORE MONEY PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

let us all know how you get on and good luck everyone will be thinking of you:D

moonlightpjs · 6 February 2007 at 10:20AM

Hi all, just thought I'd update you as I told my hubby everything last night.

Suprisingly it went well, he knew something had been bothering me for a long time and was glad I told him. He was a bit mad with me as he said I should have told him sooner (I agree and wish I had) and not had to deal with it by myself but he was fuming with my Mum, says she is not welcome in our house any longer and can only have limited contact with the children. He says he is not going to tell my dad as he thinks a lot of him and it will destroy him but due to not letting my Mum come and visit us, he says she will have to explain why and if Dad asks us - he will just tell him to ask my Mum. He says shes done it herself and will have to explain her actions to my Dad herself.

Not sure if that is the best thing to do with regards my Dad but I'll speak to hubby tonight and see if hes thought about it anymore.

I had the best nights sleep I've had in ages (only woke up once as opposed to 4/5 times) but I stll could do with some more

Am scared of the reaction that I'm going to get from Mum but Andy says I've not to speak to her as she knows how to push my buttons - so Andy will deal with her and tell her that he now knows whats been going on etc etc.

There were lots of tears last night but lots of cuddles too and Andy left me a lovely note this morning so am feeling much better.

Can only hope that things will get better from now on and we can make a bigger dent in our debts and live a normal, happy family life.

I can't put into words how grateful I am for all your support but rest assured I am. I feel like I have been on a journey since Saturday (having read the whole of my thread) and I couldn't have got through it without you all - you're the best (even SS :rotfl: )!!! Just wish i'd have done it sooner - if it hadn't have been for a pair of bl**dy, stupid boots I wouldn't be where I am now. There is not many places, if at all, like this site that can turn your life around for the better and thats all down to you guys - thank you isn't enough!!!

Love and hugs to you all (got a lump in my throat now)
Lisa xxxxx

elantan · 6 February 2007 at 10:30AM

lisa i think you should love those pair of boots...if it wasnt for them you would still be taking the !!!!!! from your mum...your son would still know you wernt happy and think he could help by moving in with the devil and you wouldnt have had the chance to talk to either your hubby to get it sorted (he sounds lovely by the way) and ofcourse not missing ss i mean he has looks charisma ,car mats, frequent hair cuts,spuds the lot lol....i'm really pleased for you that it has worked out i have been reading your thread and looking for it every time i log on...all the best

Dumyat · 6 February 2007 at 10:31AM

sounds like you have a good man there.
think carefully how to proceed now though. especially with your son thinking your mum is a nice person. You are holding all the trump cards though.

good luck.

edit..just thinking about your dad. we dont know the whole situation but it strikes me you should be honest with him too. I dont think you can rely on her to be honest with him about why she cant visit. this whole situation has arisen out of keeping secrets. note I am just thinking outloud here

talk it over with your husband!

Spendless · 6 February 2007 at 11:34AM

weller711 wrote:

I do have terrible depression and am on medication and see a CPN every week and at most times feel ok. I suffered from Post Natel depression when Sam was born but graduly got better and then when Andy got ill I started again and have suffered this terrible illness since - which also got worse when I had Mollie. I had a mini breakdown over Christmas - again over my Mum and my CPN thinks the route of all my problems is my Mum but she won't have it and continues to get at me constantly like I've said in previous posts. Though I hate to say it (and Andy dosn't know) she is in a lot of debt herself and my Dad doesn't know and she is blackmailing me with the threat of Social Services so that I have to give her money every 4 weeks to help pay her debts and this has been going on for over a year. So along with the problem of our debts I have to find money to give to her and find a way for it "to go" so Andy doesn't find out.

She has got me over a barrel as I can't risk having my children taken from me. I can't tell Andy as he would go really crazy and stop her from seeing our children and then of course my Dad would want to know why and if he knew how much debt she was in it would kill him. By the way, she goes on 4 holidays a year and buys new clothes every other week.

Its just a nightmare really, one that I'm living in and I can't get out of it. The only thngs I have and want are my children and husband and if I can keep them then I am willing to do anything it takes. I cannot take the risk that my children are taken from me and even though my CPN has assured me this is not the case at all, I worry about what lies my Mum would tell them in order for SServices to take them and I would kill myself if that happened.

Hi weller, Today I've read all this thread, can I say my friend is a lone parent with bi-polar, also seeing a CPN weekly and she has not had her kids taken from her. I see no reason why yours would be.This is your mum blackmailing you for her own means. I am really pleased you told your husband about it. As for your Dad finding out about your mums debts, bare in mind if your mum died first, your Dad would find out about them and then you'd be left in the position of whether to tell him you already knew or not. Your little boy sounds wonderful and thoughtful and a credit to you. Big hugs to you.

xxx

earwig · 6 February 2007 at 12:17PM

hi i have just quickly read through this so forgive me if im wrong but your mum is not a mum but a leach but your dad is is nice so please tell your dad what has been happening he will proberly know somthing is up anyway and he has a right to know what is happening

put the boot on the other foot (no pun intended) would you want your kids to hide somthing from you about your oh of course you wouldnt my mum has schizoprenah and i never got taking of her even when she self harmed and was taking in to hospital so dont worry about the ss

tell your dad today he has to know and dont feel guilty about doing this you never asked your mum to behave in this way dont listen to her mums are very good at pulling on the heart strings when they want to just rember she stole 200 per month of your famley things your kids could of had when you said you coudnt afford them

dont get me wrong its good to tell your kids that you cant afford thing when you cant it helps them learn about money and being reasponable with it but when you are giving 200 a month to mum from your allready tight buget thats not right and i am glad that you realised this and told your oh

but please let your dad know what has been happening because if he finds out another way it will really hurt him i guess thats the last thing you want to do you kids sound great and really ground unlike mine who thinks and acts like the world has ended if there is no kit kats in the house :rotfl: so be proud of the job you have done so far in rasing them

bobbadog · 6 February 2007 at 12:32PM

I haven't been online all weekend, so just catching up now, but I think you're quite amazing, Weller 711, and your son is a little diamond. I think you'll feel much better once you've put your mum in her rightful place. Hope you have many many more good night's sleep! xx

southernscouser · 6 February 2007 at 12:40PM

Weller, glad the OH was pucker with it all!

But I also wanted to say that maybe you should tell your dad. You know how manipulative your 'mum' is and think about your OH's reaction. He wished you'd told him sooner. I can only imagine your dad will feel the same way.

moonlightpjs · 6 February 2007 at 12:47PM

I would like to tell my Dad, even though he would be really hurt by what my Mum has done - he's a very straight man and has very stong feelings about what is right and wrong but we have a problem in that we are frightened of opening up a can of worms if we tell him and not just ban my Mum.

Please forgive me if I don't go into too much detail but my Mum has a lot of secrets - one in particular that would literally kill my Dad - she first told me about "the first one" (maybe that will give you a clue) when i was 11 and there have been numerous ones since - I have known about them, well, really had them pushed in my face, constantly since then.

My mum used to work where my hubby did and it was happening there and people used to taunt my hubby about what she was doing and he was so ashamed he left. Things are still going on to this day, all different ones (hence the holiday at the weekend) and we are scared that if we get into a big row with my Mum when telling my Dad, all this will come out and I honestly, honestly think my Dad would top himself if he ever found out. He would see that as an ultimate betrayal and is Catholic too and if he knew it had been going on for approx 25 years, well, I dare not think what he'd do.

When you are rowing with someone, things do tend to spill out and though I am not particulary bothered about my Mum, I am very concerned for my Dad.

The New Me And Our Quest To Become Debt Free And Have Self Belief

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