I'm sorry, I'm letting everyone down.

immoral_angeluk · 22 July 2008 at 9:52AM

I guess this is my kind of public apology/confession. It sounds really naff and up my own a*se but there's a lot of people who read my diary and take some kind of inspiration from it when trying to deal with their own debts. At the moment due to various circumstances I'm really not doing well at all and if anything am letting everyone down on there as they look to me to be this shining example of everything MSE. Sad I know. The last time I posted on my diary about our debt it seemed to upset a lot of people who then started attacking and criticising me as if I'm not allowed to be human, which is part of the reason I haven't been posting much on my diary anymore. Yes, our debt has increased and ok yes it may have run away with us a bit but it's almost as if I'm not allowed to make mistakes and be human.
This is why for the time being, I'm going to resign from MSE. I'll probably come back, but it may be under a different alias as I feel now that the immoral_angeluk name itself has overtaken me as a person and people look to the name for inspiration rather than seeing that I'm just a normal person who's trying to sort out her debt and if I'm honest it's very overwhelming at times and puts a lot of pressure on me to be perfect.

I'll probably lurk but won't post as I like to keep up with what everyone's up to, especially with recent events. I'm sorry if I've let alone down.

Love to everyone.

Sarah/IA x

rayday2 · 22 July 2008 at 9:56AM

A break sounds the best in the circumstances you have outlined.

Good luck with it.

BTW thanks for your pontins photos we are off there in September and were nervous what it was like.

Gemmzie · 22 July 2008 at 9:58AM

As Rayday says, sounds like the best thing, don't be a stranger forever though

**Amy** · 22 July 2008 at 9:59AM

Awww Sarah, im sorry its got a bit much. I can totally understand that its a lot of pressure for you to be "MSE Perfect".

Hope you enjoy the break, and I look forward to seeing you back here, under a different name or not, very soon.

x

kizzykizzywizzy · 22 July 2008 at 10:05AM

Sorry that you feel that way:o

Why people are so judgemental beats me! As you say we are all human.

let them walk a mile in your shoes before they judge.

To be honest if it was me, I wouldn't leave, that gives them the winning hand!

But if you have to go Good Luck & come back soon;)

fermi · 22 July 2008 at 10:07AM

Personal opinion: You don't have to be the perfect DFW example. In fact, that the person that a lot of people have "put on a pedestal" (as you feel it) can have a wobbly/bad period shows to the rest of us that we don't need to beat ourselves up if we do too. We are all allowed setbacks.

Saying that, if you really feel that you need to get your head clear of MSE or whatever then that may be for the best.

I hope you feel you can come back in one shape or form soon.

Take care.

Toto · 22 July 2008 at 10:08AM

Sar, stuff what anyone else thinks!

You know that for every person who thinks they have the right to critisize your efforts there's a dozen or more who fight your corner. You've done fantastically and have the tools to control your own spending/budgetting, what more do you need?

Of course you can have treats, blimey, I know I do... only I tend to not mention them!

Don't let other people's opinions drive you away.

sammy115 · 22 July 2008 at 10:10AM

Awww thats a real shame. Rather than look at you for inspiration I kind of liked the way you defended yourself..but I can appreciate how it must feel to be criticised.

I stopped posting about my debt because I could not bear to be criticised if I spent money on myself. I have debts and they are going down slowly. I have had ups and downs but I am heading in the right direction.

Give yourself a break woman, and I mean that in the kindest of ways. Its hard to say things on here sometimes without it sounding harsh, but you are still very young and you have achieved so much. I am sorry you feel that you have to come back in another form, I will miss the ups and downs of IA!

This board has been so emotional the last couple of weeks one way or another... I think it has made everyone evaluate what they have and what they should appreciate. Whatever happens keep up the good work - and by that I mean raising those great kids of yours and look after Ste. Sing, run and enjoy life to the full!

No wonder they call us huggies!

OberonSH · 22 July 2008 at 10:12AM

Hey lady, I'm sorry that you feel like people are judging you, no-one has the right to get at you if you've slipped. I mean - look at me! I was debt free, now currently standing at £25k.

As long as you've been dealing with the root cause of why the debt has crept up again, I don;t think you've failed. You haven't gone and thrown caution to the winds, bought a new car, gone on a carribean cruise and had the toilet gold-plated. I think you've done really well, and I respect and admire you, just as much now as ever. There's no point killing yourself to get your debts gone but looking back and thinking 'I hated the last 3/5/10 years and wish I'd gone slow and steady'.

Good luck to you hun and we'll be here when you get back.

Shineyhappy · 22 July 2008 at 10:13AM

Hi,

I don't think you should appologise to people on here. Surprisingly you are only human and like the rest of us mess up and don't do everything 100% perfectly. I am sure most of us on here could write a few things that have increased our debts or things we have failed to do that haven't helped.

I haven't sorted out my phone tarriff, I forgot to sort my car tax out as my car was off the road but I didnt sworn it so I got a 60 quid fine. I am sure I could add a few things to that list and I am sure I am not the only one!

spud30 · 22 July 2008 at 10:13AM

You havent let anyone down. None of us are perfect, we wouldnt be here if we were would we?

You inspire us BECAUSE you're you and the way you live your life. And I mean live, not just exist

Dont let the odd numpty drive you away from us hun x

I'm sorry, I'm letting everyone down.

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