MSE Parents Club Part 10

SusanC wrote: »

I agree and I wonder if the feeling of having "failed" has an influence on attachment?

I'm not sure - looking at Weezlie and the way she talks about Fergie, there seems to be a clear and obvious mummy-baby attachment that is exactly what people think of as ideal. But then it's obviously a concern for her because other people assumed that they could take her place in feeding and so perhaps without intending to made her feel as though she wasn't the head carer in all aspects.

And it shouldn't be that way - I'm really upset for her and the thought that people would do that makes me :mad:
My parents took over holding Molly when they came over, and I found myself making them tea, doing the dishes they'd created and loading the laundry they'd created while here instead of sitting quietly with my newborn. But I always had the ability to take her away, feed her, and tell someone to do X job while I fed Molly.

Weezlie, I hope you don't mind me talking about you in the third person - I'm so and :mad: for you and I really hope you can manage to make your feelings known this time. Perhaps you could say that research has established that babies feed and bond better if their primary caregiver/s feed them even when FF, and ask them if they might like to play with Fergie so he doesn't feel left out instead. It's a bit wrong to bait and switch with another baby, but it should help soothe any ruffled feathers.

Double :mad: to your midwife.

SusanC wrote: »

You always make me laugh when you say things like that.

In RL I'm an absolute sweetheart and would never set anyone on fire, not even if they messed with my building materials or didn't call me Mr Dave.

Actually I am quite nice, but I get angry when people are unnecessarily rude and obnoxious to others. OH can be quite rude and will escalate retaliating-rudeness quickly and I find it quite difficult. I'm more inclined to raise my eyebrows and say in my best icy tone, I'm sorry, I thought you said [something unspeakable] - but I know you're not that rude so I must be mistaken. What was it you said?

Millie's_Mum wrote: »

I'm sorry Feelie I genuinely didn't mean to upset you but I did feel that your comment was hurtful to the FF mums on here and I wanted you to see their point of view, please don't go I didn't mean to hurt you

Thanks, Sorry for taking it personally. I didn't mean my comment to be hurtful, I've never experienced any problems with FF (in my limited work experience), so didn't know what help FF'ing Mums needed, so was interested to hear.

csh wrote: »

Em, meant to say last night. Write a letter to payroll and give a copy to your boss detailing which days you want to class as Emergency parental leave. Often a boss won't have a full understanding of the law with things like this and communications between you, boss and HR become muddled. If you write it out clearly then you can appeal any decision about loosing your bonus.

eta: how is poo today?

Thats a good idea, project for today then! I'm working a bit tomorrow to make up the hours for Monday, so will write it today and fax it to Payroll tomorrow. Thank you for that, I hadnt thought of it, I was planning to ring Payroll and play dumb when I got my payslips

Poo is better today thank you, much more textured!! No early morning bath today, but a poop was had at 6am on the dot which did require a change of PJ bottoms!



In other news, I have just found a small cat asleep in my handbag! Stupid animal has melted the wispa gold I had stashed in there!! :eek:

My cat fetches me my post. How awesome is that? The postman just delivered a letter and he came through with it in his mouth :rotfl: Shame it's a letter for a previous tennant, Gala bingo? EVERYONES A WINNER....supposedly.

omgosh Keira ate pizza at nursery yesterday, I about collapsed on the road walking home when she told me. I know pizza is junk food, but this is a child who doesn't like junk, except for sweets and ice cream.

Think I'll make macaroni cheese tonight. Now I have pasta. I know how to make a white cheese sauce, but what cheese should I use? I made the economoy gastronomy mac n cheese and found it vile! I want it to taste like a pub meal!

It's true though, parents who FF get no support.

Example: My best friend Paul, his mum recently had another baby with her new partner at age 42. She BF. The baby lost a large percentage of it's body weight in 1 week, because her milk was so poor. So she had to switch to formula. After that, she felt like she was looked down upon and didn't get much help when the baby wasn't taking to the teets very well.

We all know BF is best, but is it if the mother has a poor diet herself? I've always wondered this.

If the mother just eats junk food etc, surely the baby is going to be getting poorer milk? You are what you eat and all that bobbins.

If you can breastfeed, great. If you don't want too, fine. I was looked down upon for not BF'ing, I was pretty overwhelmed at just having had a baby at 18, no-one in the hospital even asked me if I wanted to BF?! They gave her, her first feed anyways because I was collapsed in the shower with chunks of placenta falling out of me.

Then I got staph, blood infection, so I presume Keira would of caught that from breast milk. Who knows. Either way, she did fab on formula. She was the most NON sick baby I've ever met, no projectile puke, no illness'. Even now she only gets a cold etc because she is having 20 other kids coughing on her face for 2hours a day.

Weezl, that nurse sounds like a £$%£$%£$%.

And Susan, if a HV turned up at my house with that slogan on her tshirt, I'd of her turned her !!! right round and told her where to go. How bloody insensitive.

At the end of the day. Formula or breast milk is food. We all know we SHOULD eat the best, but do we? No. We all know the breast milk gives a baby immunitys and is beneficial, but do they suffer with scurvy if they dont? No.

and also, from what I've seen, the BF babies etc at toddler groups, they all have thrush in their mouths, puke a lot and are ill. I just look at my cousin Sarah, she was BF until 2, and I swear to blog, if you so much as sneeze within 3 miles of her, she will catch it. She has had everything even though she has been immunised. She's had mumps, measles, chickenpox and shingles. She sits on a chair and she bruises.

of course, she could just be an ill person, but I'm sure if she had been FF people would be like "AH THATS CAUSE YOU DIDNT BF"

Sorry, I'm ranting now.


Anyways my boobs are so saggy the baby would of had to sit at my belly button for a feed :rotfl:

boogellyboo wrote: »

Susan we have a snuggle nest as OH was against me co-sleeping and this was a compromise. I did find it helpful at first but it got thrown out of the bed quite quickly and we now fully co-sleep. I do think it helped bridge the gap between moses basket and directly in our bed for OH to be aware of her in the bed. I think Gisi had one too for Henry.

Did you find the snuggle nest a good buy? I wasn't sure about getting one but wish I had, it took me a long time to get to the stage where I was comfortable having Molly in bed with us and not waking up frantically searching for her, convinced that one of us had squished her in our sleep. I might purchase one for the next time...

emlou2009 wrote: »

In other news, I have just found a small cat asleep in my handbag! Stupid animal has melted the wispa gold I had stashed in there!! :eek:

:rotfl: Sorry about the collateral damage to your Wispa.
I'm glad Seth's doing better, though. We had a poopsplosion this morning that made me heave while changing it.

Just had a message from a friend - baby Edith has arrived safely :j

Edit: Susan, I was thinking specifically about Weezlie because she posted right there and it was really playing on my mind.

Lovely photos Em, and I agree about FF and BF too.