MSE Parents Club Part 10

Sami_Bee

Weezl - I think you should but on your notes that you are not going to/unable to BF and are not willing to discuss this choice during or after labour. What you described you feel day to day sounds like an incredible thing to live with nevermind making it worse by attempting to feed a baby. xxx
FWIW I think you are crazy if you try it again (but I understand why you might and I think you are a much better person than I for it )
I like to think I can provide a balanced view esp as I have had 2 children in different ways Chris was un planned, hospital birthed, cord clamped/cut quickly, managed 3rd stage, 'unsucseffully' BF for less than 2 weeks then FF and 'early' weaned.
Edgar was planned, homebirthed, delayed clamping/cutting, physiological 3rd stage, BF exclusively for over 6mths and still not really weaned and occasionally worn. Phew!

I think mfd put it quite well earlier about an inclusive group.
Although I don't' think there is a purpose for it in my area as the HV support is very good, I had no problems getting help with FFing at weekly clinic plus we have a new parent course thing that covered it and FF feeding is also covered during the ante-natal parent craft group (I'm not sure what happened as I didn't go to that class as it was all about HVs FFing and carseats all of which I felt confident I wouldn't benefit from having 'done it all before')

Susan - did Alice plait her own hair? if so I am amazed at her skill!!
have you considered making her a sling for her 'babies'
/ I saw Fritha has posted some photos today of Celia wearing a mini sling with a doll it - cute!

SusanC wrote: »

And going back to breastfeeding, I do sometimes worry about whether I will be able to go through that initial pain barrier again with future babies.

if it helps any, I found it much easier 2nd time around because I knew it was coming. Also I'm guessing that you won't be as sensitive to it now and you have more experience to spot and rectify any poor latch etc issues

jillie1974 wrote: »

going to Lowry is fine with me...but Tuesdays are 'Senior Day' so be prepared for lots of tuts at noisy babies or them all trying to poke, hold and smile at babies...
maybe another day???

this particular meet would have to be on the tuesday as mdw is taking Katie to the lowry theatre to see the Gruffalo

Mazcabs wrote: »

... Sami how Chris is with you as you BF Edgar. It totally changed how Henry was with me and I couldnt cope with that - going from doing loads for him to him crying when I even tried to change his nappy as he didnt want me... All changed when I started FF!!!

He played up a bit at first but was soon used to it, he preferred OH for a bit but has always kept his need for mummy when he's bumped :A
He sometimes pushes things when I'm mid feed because he knows I'm less likely to take Ed off at that point *tut* sometimes he says "oh don't feed Edgar now" but I have managed to find a position where I can feed Ed and have Chris cuddled up with me too (I didn't get it for a good few months though, the earlier times were hard and occasionally had all 3 of us in tears)

Sami_Bee

weezl74 wrote: »

...
MIL said: Oh well since he's not BF I can do the bottles this weekend

I dumbly nodded and then watched her hold the bottle with the airflow hole in the wrong place every feed and then get painful trapped wind.

I also ended up making guests cups of tea and chocolate brownies while they bottle fed fergus. Whilst desperately wanting it to be the other way round but feeling I couldn't justify it.

this made me cry I know exactly what you were feeling! I would go and cry in the toilet because I was so worn down that I couldn't even manage to voice my need to feed my own child.
I think you need to discuss this with OH so he can be strong for you and let everyone know that they won't be allowed to feed K for a few weeks/months. I made the decision that if I didn't BF Ed I would give him all but 1 feed per day, OH would get the 'other' one and no one else could feed him for at least a month when I'd re asses and decide if anyone else could do a feed.
I hope that helps you xxx

aless02

interesting discussion, really...I haven't jumped in as most other people have said what I think/feel better than I could . weezl, I don't know your full story as I wasn't around then, but I hate the thought of you feeling like you have to rationalise your decisions to everyone . I think I must have the complete opposite problem with no feeling in my nipples as I've never had any pain with Finn even when I can tell his latch is wrong. Don't be too jealous, ladies, as it definitely decreases 'options' in the bedroom!

SusanC_2

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Susan - did Alice plait her own hair? if so I am amazed at her skill!!
have you considered making her a sling for her 'babies'
/ I saw Fritha has posted some photos today of Celia wearing a mini sling with a doll it - cute!

if it helps any, I found it much easier 2nd time around because I knew it was coming. Also I'm guessing that you won't be as sensitive to it now and you have more experience to spot and rectify any poor latch etc issues

No - OH did.

She uses my scarf as a sling too. (Which sometimes results in disagreements as to who should have it when it's cold outside and I want to actually wear it as a scarf.)

Thanks - I do think that knowing what to expect will make it easier and am very :mad: at all the info which claims it doesn't hurt unless the latch is wrong as it made the thing so much more stressful and distressing than it would have been otherwise. Her latch was actually fine - it was "just" soreness due to my nipples not being used to the intensity of activity on them.

redmel1621

feelinggood wrote: »

MFD - I missed about your OH too, what is happening? Hope you are okay x

Feeding groups - I see no problem with them, but don't think it should encroach on breastfeeding support. There is too little breastfeeding support as it is, and many women (wrongly) feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in front of non breastfeeding women, so it might deter more women from getting advice, which isn't a good thing I don't think. Personally I think we should do more to get people to breastfeed - more information, advice and support. To be honest, I don't understand what help a FF Mum would need - I thought all the instructions were on the tin?

How about if baby is refusing feeds, choking on the milk, spitting the teat out,

suffering with wind or colic, being sick exccessively, projectile vomitting, crying only an hour or so after each feed as if starving, refusing to be fed by anyone other than mum/dad/gran whoever!!!!! These things are definitely NOT on any tin I've seen!


Edit just to add that just because a tin tells you how many scoops of powder to stick in the water that in no way helps with the many issues that arise throughout the time baby requires liquid feeds:)

xxx

angela6834

Im just trying to catch up but i'll never remember everything..so posting mid way through.

Em...beautiful pic of Seth..how cute does he look. I have a bath seat for Rose and she loves it too.

Boo...thoses booties are lovely.

Buttons...Keira's eyes are gorgeous....lovely pic.

MFD....im so sorry you're feeling so down. You normally sound so upbeat. Maybe send hubby in with a pic of you and Benjamin. Not sure what else. Im sure the next few days will be difficult but you being such a strong and resourceful woman, im sure you'll manage okay. Just pop on here for a moan.

I think its difficult to listen to the arguments between BF and FF rationally when you do feel such a failure for not continuing. I BF Rose for 12 weeks and still have regrets now at giving up. Mainly because I feel/ felt selfish for putting myself first. She was feeding well etc but i was completely exhausted. I didnt feel like my body of mind were my own.

Weezl, thinking of you. I think it must be quite difficult to listen to the conversation knowing how you feel at the moment x

Becles

I just noticed that Jack has lost three of his bottom front teeth. Two of his new ones have cut through and the other one is on it's way. He's not been any different in himself or seemed ill or anything like that.

Why does teething bother babies so much, if dogs can do it with no effort?

My_Fathers_Daughter

aless02 wrote: »

I think I must have the complete opposite problem with no feeling in my nipples as I've never had any pain with Finn even when I can tell his latch is wrong. Don't be too jealous, ladies, as it definitely decreases 'options' in the bedroom!

A-hem

I have often wondered if my easy time with BF is down to my hubbys over-exhuberance with my nipples pre-Benjamin. Were they already tougher than most?

Would it be worth suggesting that pregnant women try an intensive course of nipple tweaking and pulling in preparation?



A-hem

SusanC_2

Sami_Bee wrote: »

this made me cry I know exactly what you were feeling! I would go and cry in the toilet because I was so worn down that I couldn't even manage to voice my need to feed my own child.

:grouphug: TBH (although I've never particularly thought about it particularly before) I would never think of asking to feed someone else's child as I would feel it was intrusive to do so. It's different if the parent asks you to (I have a friend who had her first two 13 months apart and I used to go round to help one morning a week and she would ask me to feed the baby) but otherwise I just wouldn't.

SusanC_2

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

I have often wondered if my easy time with BF is down to my hubbys over-exhuberance with my nipples pre-Benjamin. Were they already tougher than most?

Would it be worth suggesting that pregnant women try an intensive course of nipple tweaking and pulling in preparation?

:rotfl::rotfl: