On-line dating experiences?

mariposa687

I signed up for on-line dating at the end of last year. Been on one date, and all going to plan, I've said yes to a second date. Chatting to a few people, my profile pictures are decent (and up to date) and my profile is fairly well written.

Something doesn't feel quite right about it. On-line dating seems quite cold compared to meeting someone in real life. I met my ex on an internship programme abroad.

I find it stressful keeping up multiple conversations, people who don't respond and seem to end up with quite a few pen pals despite the idea being to go out on dates!. I also feel uncomfortable that the guys I go on dates with are talking to multiple people as well, even though I am too.

Has anyone else tried it and felt the same? Any positive experiences?

I've paid for 6 months but might not renew after that. I'd much prefer to meet someone through a hobby or similar but I'm 30 now and I do want to have kids so I'm worried that time isn't on my side. My close friends are all in long term relationships have never used online dating so they don't understand, as much as they try to.

PrettyKittyKat

I just married a person i met through a dating app 5 years ago, so I think it was quite successful! Haha

I think it's about your mindset. I would limit how many people I chatted to at once as I struggled to remember what everyone said! Once I got chatting to someone i liked and was more interested in I would come off the app for a little while to see how it went, it was a free app. I joined just to meet some new people and have experiences of dating after coming out of a very longterm relarionship that started at 16. I never intended to find a husband, but I fell in love and here we are! I didn't bother getting too involved with people that I wasn't interested in / didn't have the same morals and wants etc. I liked the ability to get to know someone before meeting face to face as i felt more comfortable asking questions this way, but that may have been due to my inexperience of dating!

You have a subscription now so nothing to loose just give it a try and see how you go.

StaffieTerrier

I met my partner through online dating, using a free app. You do have to have a thick skin and not take it too seriously. I just used it as an opportunity to meet new people. I always made sure I kept the messaging to a minimum and meet up quickly with anyone I was interested in. I didn't bother with anyone who didn't want to meet quickly. The first meet up was always a coffee with plans to be somewhere immediately afterwards, to keep the meet up brief.

Over the course of a few months I went on dates with a few different people. They had a mix of personalities, looks, careers, etc. As long as they seemed relatively normal, I'd meet up with them. My partner is the complete opposite of anyone I would normally have dated but my strengths are his weaknesses and vice versa, so we work really well together.

I spoke to a few friends who were struggling with online dating. After taking my advice of having fun with it and not taking it too seriously, they've all met someone.

Zeni

I have to echo Pretty, I met my now husband using online dating almost 6 years ago. I was hesitant at first but at the end of the day, it's just another way to meet new people that you may never get the chance to just meet at random out and about. I only lived 10 mins from my OH for our whole lives but our paths never crossed, and I always think how sad that would have been if I have never met someone who ended up being perfect for me.
I only talked to a few guys at a time as too many I think might have been a lot. It took me a while to get over the feeling it felt odd but actually, it was great getting to message someone and build that relationship up before meeting them and being able to find out that we had things in common.

I say try for as long as you have left, you've already paid so you may as well give it your best shot you won't lose anything but you may gain something awesome.

smudger1964

I spoke to a few friends who were struggling with online dating. After taking my advice of having fun with it and not taking it too seriously, they've all met someone.[/QUOTE]

This is good advice..take most things you are told online before you meet with a pinch of salt as fibs are prevalent..I have found women often take a few years off their age one I met had knocked 10 years off and another 8 years..Men quite often fib about their height

Marvel1

Does not seem any different to meeting people in real life e.g. on a night out, moving from pub to pub.

dawyldthing

Ive been on pof for a few years but go in drips and drabs on it. There's an awful lot of folk on there that's only after one thing (even when I put on there I want to find someone to spend life with, go out with etc). One bloke I messaged for several weeks, I asked him if he wanted to meet at the pub for a meal, he said why not just eat at mine so there's a lot that don't really listen on there.

But there are a few genuine folk on there. One I chat to as a friend, another I dated for a while and messages every now and again and I've met a bloke I've been dating for a 2 months now.

The other thing is I think the same blokes are on all the sites, paid for or free, so is worth signing up for a few.

I don't think many meet in pubs nowadays either. I know the only time I go to the pub is for the darts and there's not that many folk in there

prowla

I think it's just like real-life; you meet people, have a chat, see if you like them, see what you have in common, etc.

Just a different way of making initial contact, really.

Of course, there are different folks looking for different things there, but that's no different to going out on a Friday night really, is it?

mariposa687

Thanks for all your replies. I'm fairly new to it so not sure what to expect.

dawydlthing - I had a bad experience on pof with a guy I really liked, as soon as a certain thing happened he lost interest. That's a big deal for me so it hurt me quite a bit. Barely had the decency to say he didn't want to see me again - he just didn't reply to my text. He had said he was on there to meet that special person which was clearly a lie. That's what worries me, I'm in it for a relationship - why people mess around and say they want one when they don't is beyond me. I am very honest by nature so find it difficult to understand why others wouldn't be. I also don't move on very quickly from one person to the next (that's just me, I'm a deep thinker).

PeacefulWaters

Chat online for a bit. Move it to WhatsApp. Don't chat online for weeks. Arrange to meet. Have a walk or coffee. Decide if there's more to it.

Don't play games. Don't take it personally if others do. Just move on quickly.

it hurt me

Lower your expectations but maintain your standards. Don't be hurt. Discard and move on.

Techno_Mystic

I find it a bit mechanical. I am quite a thoughtful person, who is better at listening than talking. This doesn't come across on a computer. I think I sound a bit boring when I communicate by text.

I would like a site where you could design your own page so you could express yourself. There is one quite like that called Tastebuds, although that doesn't really work for me either, and its founders seem to have given up on developing it.

I prefer Meetup.com really, but then I'm back to pot luck again. So I'm stuck with online dating really.

One tip I would give is that with the subscription sites, cancel your subsciption, they will keep sending you offers to re-subscribe, eventually they sent me a really cheap monthly rate, which is the only reason I am still signed up at the moment.