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    • my-user-name
    • By my-user-name 28th Jan 17, 11:54 AM
    • 256Posts
    • 963Thanks
    14 years I feel Ive wasted,not sure how to cope
    • #1
    • 28th Jan 17, 11:54 AM
    14 years I feel Ive wasted,not sure how to cope 28th Jan 17 at 11:54 AM
    Things always seemed fine in our relationship,he told me he loved me everyday,told everyone hes happy,I thought he was happy.
    But at times he could be hard work,never actually opening up if anything was bothering him but I thought everything was fine
    We had a row beginning of January and things went downhill from then.
    Last week after 14 years he finally did open tell me he no longer loves me and our relationship has reached the end of the road.
    This morning he left,he even slipped out of the home while I was in another room,no good byes,no nothing.
    I'm in shock, Im hurt,I m angry and cant believe this is happening.If this has happened to you,how did you cope in the early days,just looking for advice if possible please.
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    • wannabe sybil
    • By wannabe sybil 27th Apr 17, 2:31 PM
    • 2,727 Posts
    • 18,881 Thanks
    wannabe sybil
    I was thinking about the phone call you got.

    Your ex was all about money. Now you are no longer providing so much for him then he is financially worse off. Also I think his ego is likely to be seriously dented because you are doing okay and not falling apart without him.

    He's going to want to try and get back.

    If he behaves to his stepmother as he has behaved to you then I am sure she would be extremely happy if he went back to you and relieved the pressure on her. Besides, who knows what he has been saying to her in the last few years?

    I would brace for further attempts, but without worrying too much about him. He is no longer part of your life, you do not owe him another chance, you do not owe him the opportunity to make it up to you and you do not owe him the dirt off your shoe.

    Good luck.
    Ankh Morpork Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons - don't let my flame go out!
    • DavidP24
    • By DavidP24 27th Apr 17, 10:51 PM
    • 937 Posts
    • 1,164 Thanks

    Costs 3.35 a month, I think.

    The interwebs suggest that they are reluctant to change phone numbers without a police reference number - being upset by unwanted calls demanding you maintain contact with/be bestest fwends with/get back together with an abusive ex partner would count as something you could report, explaining that you have been told that you need to get a reference number before they'll change it, and if this is a sign of things to come, it will not come from just one number, so it would be entirely reasonable to report it now - but perhaps saying to SKY that you will cancel the subscription and wish to be transferred to do that now if they are unwilling to change the number would get it done anyway?
    Originally posted by Jojo the Tightfisted
    No way I would pay for that, I would change provider and not take number so get new number issued.

    In a year MUN will be elible for Sky's next broadband deal of 64 for a year of line rental and BB.

    If can't face moving I would tell Sky "you change the number or I leave" end of

    Then push to get line rental reduced a week later, best offer I have seen other than deal works out at around 10 a month

    To be honest there is some satisfaction in hanging up as soon as you realise it is from person you do not want to speak to.
    Thanks, don't you just hate people with sigs !
    • barbiedoll
    • By barbiedoll 28th Apr 17, 7:33 AM
    • 4,878 Posts
    • 13,412 Thanks
    In the meantime, when the phone rings, don't answer it straight away. Stand up, take a deep breath and put a huge smile on your face.

    Always answer with a very cheery "Hello!"

    If caller is one of his female posse (or even himself) and you can't bring yourself to slam the phone down, just breathlessly say "Sorry, can't stop, I'm just on my way out...bye!" Then put the phone down and take it off the hook for half an hour or so.

    Take back the control and the power. You're doing great so far and a little blip here and there is to be expected.

    And your counsellor, and JoJo are absolutely right....
    "I may be many things but not being indiscreet isn't one of them"
    • takethemon
    • By takethemon 12th Jun 17, 8:28 PM
    • 110 Posts
    • 63 Thanks
    I hope things have calmed down a bit for you now and that you start to thrive.
    Financial abuse, his extreme tightness, is covered by the domestic violence definition and as such don't hesitate to phone the local domestic violence department of your Police force.
    They are very humane and will give you any advice that you require.
    Best wishes.
    • Luna68
    • By Luna68 12th Jul 17, 8:24 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 38 Thanks
    I have been reading this an I Think You are a very strong Lady
    take care
    • Luna68
    • By Luna68 12th Jul 17, 8:44 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 38 Thanks
    IN my opinion he is Narcissistic
    keep your head up and smile keep doing what your doing
    soon he will be just a memory
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