Child Maintenance
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pollyanna24 wrote: »As stated, the OP hasn't come back, so probably not genuine, but the bit that got me is the complaining about £75. Even if the ex is taking this money and spending it in Westfields (!), the child most like still costs more than £150 (if we are assuming the ex is also paying £75).
So the OP just sounds like they don't want to pay anything for their own child. It shouldn't matter how much each party is earning, it matters how much the child is costing!
The OP posted yesterday
To be fair, £75 a week is fairly reasonable. That's £325 a month; so £650 + child benefit (which is around £90?).
That's getting into the realms of actual costs.0 -
The OP posted yesterday
To be fair, £75 a week is fairly reasonable. That's £325 a month; so £650 + child benefit (which is around £90?).
That's getting into the realms of actual costs.
Oops, I think I got bored after a few of the posts and skipped to the end.Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
Mortgages (End 2017) - £180,235.03
(End 2021) - £131,215.25 DID IT!!!
(End 2022) - Target £116,213.810 -
Comms69 said:Mr_GoldMine wrote: »I dont mind paying, it's just frustrating not knowing if the money is actually being spent on the child. I have been a victim of vehicle arson and my house windows being smashed, ordered by the ex. I'm paranoid she's causing criminal damage by hired help using my own earnings. What a life. - why would she do that?
Plus I'd rather my kid knows it's coming from me, for all I know the mother saying shes paying the upkeep, not the father. brainwashing is a common thing now part of the disease of parental alienation in society. - it is, but you aren't going to stop the tide.
Bottom line. I bet the mother is enjoying that supplemental Income from me more than what my child is benefiting.
How much are you paying?£355 a month.please also note that over the past 11 months, the ex and her family have set fire to my car, broke my house windows on multiple occasions, its ongoing. police dont do jack.ive had a non mol raised against me, two weeks later they premidated / staged their own text messages and reported it to the police, got me called in for interview and had my phone confiscated. I spent 21 hours in a cell!0 -
pollyanna24 said:As stated, the OP hasn't come back, so probably not genuine, but the bit that got me is the complaining about £75. Even if the ex is taking this money and spending it in Westfields (!), the child most like still costs more than £150 (if we are assuming the ex is also paying £75).
So the OP just sounds like they don't want to pay anything for their own child. It shouldn't matter how much each party is earning, it matters how much the child is costing!i am genuine. look at what i go through at the hands of the ex., yes the child deserves money, but do i deserve this sort of intimidation. yeah 'man up' i tell myself. but they are trying to stop me from seeing my child and want to take all the money they can get!dont worry i wanted your help and advice only. not your sympathy!0 -
Some people on here have been really harsh and it’s not fair.First you need to establish paternity. If the child is yours you need to pay.
To see your child if mediation doesn’t work you need to go to court.
You don’t need a solicitor you can do this yourself and the 3 laymen judges are very supportive. Don’t slag the mum off, just state that you want to see your child. Courts are more for dads now.
You see your child for more than one night a week this will reduce your payments. But obviously your not doing that for this.
Be friendly, sing the mums praises, don’t ever slag her off and the court will grant you access. Yes it’s hard but it works.
Good luck!1 -
May I suggest trying reading a thread before posting? OP has already had a paternity test and been to court for an access order.Deano777 said:Some people on here have been really harsh and it’s not fair.First you need to establish paternity. If the child is yours you need to pay.
To see your child if mediation doesn’t work you need to go to court.
You don’t need a solicitor you can do this yourself and the 3 laymen judges are very supportive. Don’t slag the mum off, just state that you want to see your child. Courts are more for dads now.
You see your child for more than one night a week this will reduce your payments. But obviously your not doing that for this.
Be friendly, sing the mums praises, don’t ever slag her off and the court will grant you access. Yes it’s hard but it works.
Good luck!All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
Just wanted to offer you some support as you do seem to be getting a hard time on here. I feel if a mother stops you seeing your kids then she should also be waiving the right to any financial support from you. I've not seen my kids in years after taking my ex to court. She told me after court that I would never see my kids again and she knows she can get away with it as her cousin done exact same thing. Been back to solicitor and they've said I can pay the fees again but most that will happen is she will get slap on wrists but won't change anything if she's determined to not let me have access. I still need to pay her 500 every month even though she gets over 2000 in benefits and rent and council tax free1
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You keep it going until the court has had enough and does her for contempt, then you are in the driving seat.Weetod said:Just wanted to offer you some support as you do seem to be getting a hard time on here. I feel if a mother stops you seeing your kids then she should also be waiving the right to any financial support from you. I've not seen my kids in years after taking my ex to court. She told me after court that I would never see my kids again and she knows she can get away with it as her cousin done exact same thing. Been back to solicitor and they've said I can pay the fees again but most that will happen is she will get slap on wrists but won't change anything if she's determined to not let me have access. I still need to pay her 500 every month even though she gets over 2000 in benefits and rent and council tax free0 -
Yeah it is a tough journey indeed, the impact on mental health, fluctuating performance at work and more i dont even want to mention them ... feel like i'm in a deep hole... i never anticipated this. I feel like the end is near sometimes...... what kind of world do we live in?
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