How soon is too soon

Georgiepie wrote: »

I too think 5 years is a long time. I have friends who were together for about 3 years before they even got engaged and then another 3 or more before they got married.

I got engaged after 10 years together. No rush.

Elinore wrote: »

The only constant I've noticed is the bigger and fancier the wedding the faster the spilt (within my social circle anyway)

I believe statistically the more you spend on your wedding the more likely you are to split up. I've certainly been to a few expensive weddings where the couple have since split.

Gavin83 wrote: »

I got engaged after 10 years together. No rush.

Each to their own but no way would I have wanted to wait 10 years before even getting engaged let alone married.

If you live together that is different although I would not live with someone for that length of time either without being at least engaged.

Me and DH did not want to live together but we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We both have very strong views on marriage and were totally committed to our marriage and each other.

We both believe marriage is for life and don't believe in divorce although we would not stay together if we were unhappy.

LoisGriffin wrote: »

If you waited 10 years then getting married obviously wasn’t important to you. 3650 days is a long time.

Infatuated?
It’s difficult to articulate this situation without sounding like you have lost your head so I understand your point but I think it’s a bit harsh.
And there isn’t a lot I can say. We want people getting married to be in-to each other. On this money-saving site a lot of people view it more in terms of the financial implications and ease of undoing it and less in terms of love and forever.

The general theme here seems to be that people posting about early weddings sound very content and at peace with their choices.
Whereas the people saying wait do not seem as happy!

Will see what happens..

I'd stop bothering about what other people think, stop bothering about what other people's experiences were/are, stop trying to explain how you and your partner feel towards each other and just do what feels right to you.

Would it matter to you if every poster said 'I got married in haste and now I'm regretting it'?
Would it change how you feel?
Would it change what you do?

I think you're over-thinking things and making the whole situation far too complicated.

LoisGriffin wrote: »

Bit of a personal attack. If it annoys you don’t read it, read something else.

It's not even close to a personal attack and is sound advice. Everyone will have different experiences and desires, there's no right answer here. You need to do what is right for you.

And no, getting married wasn't important for us, although we're certainly happily married now. Saying that we'd have been happy without the marriage as well.

Honestly a lot of the topics on here make me realise how lucky I am to have the relationship I've got.

LoisGriffin wrote: »

Bit of a personal attack. If it annoys you don’t read it, read something else.

LoisGriffin wrote: »

It’s not advice. It’s irritation. I would never want to be that unkind even if I couldn’t be identified as me.

If this topic doesn’t interest you that’s fine but there is no need to be so unkind.
I

What part of my post is unkind?
I asked questions about why other people's opinions are so important to you.

Is it this that you feel is unkind?:

Pollycat wrote: »

I think you're over-thinking things and making the whole situation far too complicated.

When you put your personal life out in the public domain, you will get people who agree with you, you will get people who don't agree with you.
You'll even get people who wonder why you're even asking.

Your post did interest me as I'm one who got married pretty quickly after meeting someone.
I even posted so.

I'm not the tiniest bit irritated.
Your posts don't annoy me.
They just make me a little sad for you that you don't just go with your gut feeling and enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts - be that 6 months or 60 years, instead of angsting about it.
That was kind of the point of my post #56 really - 'don't worry about other people'.
I regret that you feel that my suggestion was unkind.

But Good Luck with your relationship anyway.