The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)

maman · 3 January 2018 at 5:41PM

cathybird wrote: »

I get that maman and agree completely, but she doesn't say anything about dry January - she says at some unspecified point in the past she gave up completely for a month and then resumed at a much lower level, and that the change has become more or less permanent. It is true that she doesn't say when this all happened, and if it's recent then I suppose it's possible she might resume drinking more over time, but she says she is now only an occasional drinker and has switched to non-alcoholic beer for many social events, and she sounds self-aware and resolute to me. I honestly think it's quite a positive article.

Sorry, I was talking in general terms not the person in the article.:o

I agree that proving to yourself you can cut right down (or give up if that's your choice) and keep it up can definitely bring about a lifestyle change. I admire anyone who can do that especially the people on this thread!!:D

Mudbath · 3 January 2018 at 6:19PM

Afternoon everyone.
1/20 for me please, thank you.

cathybird · 3 January 2018 at 7:14PM

maman wrote: »

Sorry, I was talking in general terms not the person in the article.:o

I agree that proving to yourself you can cut right down (or give up if that's your choice) and keep it up can definitely bring about a lifestyle change. I admire anyone who can do that especially the people on this thread!!:D

Ah now I'm with you! I thought you were talking about the article, which is why I was puzzled. In general terms I agree absolutely, though I suppose at least if people do a dry January they might twig how much better they feel and that might linger in their minds? ... But then for everyone who thinks about it afterwards I suppose there are others who don't.

Baileysonice · 3 January 2018 at 7:56PM

3/19 Thank you

Poor_Single_lady · 3 January 2018 at 8:02PM

2/21

Happy new year all.
Feeling all the new year positivity that seems to be in the air.

But also hope everyone is ok in the storms. xxx

BeardedDez · 3 January 2018 at 8:11PM

Good evening.
Can I join please. I could do with the motivation this board offers.
I'll go for 2/16 this month and 185 for the year.
Thanks Shaggydoo.

scatterbrain109 · 4 January 2018 at 12:01AM

Hi Shaggy - can you put me down for 3/31 please?

I am now back home on a proper computr and can cange font colours!
A funny thing happened on my last night away - staying at a friends flat for the last few days.
I couldn't sleep, I usually have trouble sleeping without alcohol in my system - it will ease off after a week or so.
Anyway, at around 3AM this morning I was sat on a chair close to her balcony window watching storm Eleanor at play and a lid flew off a large plastic storage box she keeps on her balcony.
I brought it inside to stop it flying away and causing damage.
When I woke this morning I took it outside to put it back on the storgae box and there were several fancy bottles of wine in there and quite expensive champagne - while we'd had plonk and prosecco all weekend
Now this friend has been my drinking buddy for the last 20 years or so and when we arrived told me to help myself to anything in the flat and I did until we both stopped at midnight on NYE.
I am feeling quite offended that while she had all the plonk available for us to share, she clearly hd no intention of sharing the decent stuff with me.
i suppose what hurts most is that she has pulled me off the wagon so many times in the past, berating me for letting her down as she has no one to drink with and yet I'm not good enough to share the decent stuff with.
On several levels I can see her position as I am quite happy with the plonk, I don't get hung up about price, origin and labels etc but I do feel offended that while I am good enough as a drinking buddy, I am not good enough to share the quaity stuff.
Is it me I wonder, just being over sensitive
I need to think this one through but am feeling that the next time I am pressured into "giving up giving up" then I probably won't give in so easily.

Anyway, on a personal level, 3 days completed, not even a glance at the wine aisle in the suprmarket tonight and feeling generally good, less bloated and cleaner.

Jo x

Honey_Bear · 4 January 2018 at 9:40AM

This clinical trial popped up on my Facebook Feed yesterday. I've put a link in about it before, but for those that missed it, and for those that didn't think it was for them in December, here are the details again.

Scatterbrain, if she'd had a party over the past two weeks and friends brought her more expensive stuff they'd have drunk it with her and left the empties behind. Seeing them doesn't mean she went out and got it for herself and then bought plonk to drink with you. However, you are right in saying that if she's pressurised you into giving up on giving up - she's not that much of a friend, is she? If she sees you as her most reliable drinking buddy, that might be a more honest basis for the friendship. It's worth having a gentle conversation with her about it while you're both sober, at least.

cathybird wrote: »

Still mulling over people's thoughts on the two articles from the Guardian I posted, I confess I thought the first one wasn't so bad and hats off to her for at least trying to tackle it? ... My own experience is that it takes a few goes to give up a bad habit (especially an addictive one), but I would have said I have actually succeeded in moderating, just that it requires constant vigilance and accountability of the sort offered by this thread. By the sound of it others (eg Honey Bear ) have read loads of similar articles before and perhaps that's why they evoke a certain weariness, but I think anything that suggests people should try to cut down is a start and I could certainly put myself in her shoes. Just my two bobs' worth.

Anything that helps anyone not have even one drink is a great idea, CathyBird. My problem with the first article is the tone of it, and I should have made that clear. I'm really sorry if I rained on your parade, I didn't mean to. I rather suspect that after three and a half years of resisting any urge to drink I'm beginning to have a bit of a sense of humour failing about people who sound trite about dealing with problem drinking. Just because it's legal doesn't make it any less addictive than heroin, and no-one makes light of the addictive nature of that.

There are those people who can moderate and I'm so, so happy for them - my partner can for a start.

The people I'm really concerned for are the ones who will go straight back to drinking more than they should within a few days or weeks of starting to drink again, which is what alcoholics do. When I was much younger I was romantically involved with two people who I now realise were alcoholics and I've heard it all, and been on the receiving end of all of it, except physical violence because that's the only line neither of them crossed.

Moderation is the holy grail and giving up for a week, a month or three and a half years doesn't mean that one doesn't have a drink problem if and when one goes back to it. It never, ever gets better, it only ever gets worse if the person's relationship with alcohol is unhealthy.

The writer of that article very carefully avoids confronting that.

Please don't be offended if something I say jars with what you think or believe - the whole point of the thread is to be able to thrash out what we think and feel anonymously about our individual relationships with alcohol.

If moderation works for anyone at all I'm genuinely thrilled for them and I know there are poeple for whom it does. I tried for years and years and I'm just not. I'm probably jealous!

BeardedDez wrote: »

Good evening.
Can I join please. I could do with the motivation this board offers.
I'll go for 2/16 this month and 185 for the year.
Thanks Shaggydoo.

Welcome Bearded Dez and good luck! :wave:

4/31 please, Shaggy.

maggiem · 4 January 2018 at 10:08AM

1/15 please and thank you Shaggy for all the information. Didn’t do too well on the annual challenge but I suppose 110 AFDs is better than none. Interesting article links posted yesterday - thought provoking although not sure anything would make me want such a severe hangover.

New_Me · 4 January 2018 at 10:17AM

Quite a stressful evening last night, definitely wanted a drink. Reminded myself it doesn't actually reduce stress or solve the issue, just numb me and make the next day worse. The craving passed pretty quickly, so another day AF. No intentions of drinking today, think I'll do a list of things I can do in the evening now I don't have a regular appointment with the wine.

+2 for last night and tonight please Shaggy, takes me to 4/31

The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)

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