What have I done ......

Starmummy · 7 June 2018 at 1:29PM

Happy new diary.

Can't wait to see your diary unfold and you begin to blossom. I became a single mum at the same age as you Star Child is nearly 9 now but we moved in with my now partner just over a year ago. That's not without it's difficulties, all that come with a blended family. But I'm so glad we have him.

You seem to be in a period of trying to find yourself and getting to know yourself, That is such a gift. Woking on your relationship with you is so important.

I wish you well
SM

Dimps_123 · 7 June 2018 at 3:05PM

Thanks Starmummy

Yes finding myself is definitely what I'm doing now. Really weird not having to organise my baby's life anymore. I've been a mum most of my adult life (and the majority of my friends/ family felt the need all the way through to tell me how wrong that was! why do people think their opinion counts so much?? lol), anyway I need to get used to a new normal which is just me to think about. On one hand I'm excited as I can start so many new projects, of course on the flip side I'm petrified to do it all on my own. Debt definitely needs to take priority so that I can then make my dreams a reality.

Well done you for taking that step and having a blended family
x

foxgloves · 7 June 2018 at 4:37PM

Hello Dimps,
Just stopping by to say that I also first got into debt at age 19 & didn't clear it until I was in my 40s. We owed around 35k at its worst so it can be done. We just have a small chunk of a loan to finish paying off now, as we always knew we'd need to borrow a small amount to put with what we had saved to help us replace our car.
I've been sharing in my own dfw diary how much our attitude to money has changed. I know stories of my Spendy Decades make people smile because so many of us on here have been in that headspace, but I think it does show that it is entirely possible to have a massive LBM in your 40s & change your financial habits. I couldn't go back to how I used to be. I've truly embraced budgeting, meal planning, frugality & finally, common sense. The daft thing is that it doesn't feel as though we live a hugely frugal lifestyle. We go camping for most of our holidays now, but we both love that. We love cooking & eat nice food. We still do great stuff together, so you know, I think back to all that cash we were splurging & it certainly didn't make us any happier. I feel much more resourceful now, too & less wasteful.
Anyway. Best of luck with your debt busting journey. Just wanted to say that I too didn't reach my LBM till well into my 40s x

Dimps_123 · 8 June 2018 at 5:27AM

Thanks foxgloves - that gives me hope
xx

Dimps_123 · 8 June 2018 at 8:18AM

Today is the day ! After work/ shopping/ haircut, I'm going to sit down and make a start on my SOA. It needs to be done. I really want to start getting excited about paying off the debt.

My thought for the day today is - keep taking small steps, and every now and then look back and celebrate how you've come.

My small steps this week have been actually admitting I need to stop spending and properly look at my finances and looking back (though only 3 days) I am feeling positive about the future. I've applied for about 5 jobs this week. My weekend plan is to batch cook to avoid buying expensive food every day and also to get on with my studying. In the long term both of these things will help me - less money spent on food, lose weight as I will know exactly what is going into my meals and hopefully two new qualifications this year to be able to start working towards doing something I actually enjoy. And I will add a planned debt free date on my signature (scared how far ahead that will be but at least there will be a goal for me to aim for)

Its Friday everyone - its a good day!!!

xx

[Deleted User] · 8 June 2018 at 8:21AM

Have a great day x

Dimps_123 · 11 June 2018 at 8:14AM

Good morning

Well it was a productive weekend :-) I've managed to pay off a couple of small debts. Partially completed my SOA, still need to find some information to complete and then I can start properly cutting down.

I even did some batch cooking - shepherds pie/ apple crumble/ broccoli pasta bake/ chilli sitting in the freezer ready for the next few weeks.

Gardening has to be done this week - its a forest!

[Deleted User] · 11 June 2018 at 9:52AM

That sounds great. I love the feeling of doing batch cooking and knowing there is always something to eat in the freezer!

Dimps_123 · 12 June 2018 at 3:17PM

Today my lovely, amazing, wonderful 21 year old son is sad and it makes me sad to see him so down. He makes me so proud and he is my World. It breaks my heart to see life is pulling him down a bit - nothing drastic just general life. He runs his own business and he is doing it really well - of course that does come with stress which made him cry today.

Now, it has made me feel a little bit like having a spending spree and not bothering to eat my batch meals.

I must be strong I must be strong I must be strong!!!

Toni'sfriend · 12 June 2018 at 4:01PM

Aw, DIMPS. It's hard when they are like that. You just want to take all the hurt they're feeling and make it better. But it's part of growing up and being an adult. I've been through this and I have cried so many tears, had so many sleepless nights but my boy has got there and so will yours and you too and you'll both come out the other side stronger and better people. He knows you love him and will lend all your support and that is the most important thing you can do for him. Lots of hugs to both of you.

What have I done ......

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