I'm back (VERY SCARED) debt free diary

cocalls · 19 March 2009 at 6:42AM

Good luck Kelie have you sat him down and showed him the figures cried a bit appealed to his nice side if you have and he's still behaving like this then i think you know what you need to do.

epsilondraconis · 19 March 2009 at 11:20AM

Yes agreed the boyfriend isn't helping you. He doesn't contribute and he is making you unhappy. Regardless of how you felt initially when you met him, it seems that those feeling aren't the same now.

Also, why are you buying food in M&S? Perhaps you could buy food from a cheaper shop and also cook meals in advance and freeze some.

Try to keep positive - even though it is currently a very very tough time for you. I'm sure there will be a time in the future where you can look back at this point and be proud of yourself for making the correct decisions (one being to ensure the bf shapes up) and getting through all of this.

mrscmr · 19 March 2009 at 11:30AM

morning kelie
i would say look at the food shopping... m & s food although very yummy is really really expensive. maybe only shop there once a month for bit of treat? i saw a program on brand downsizing and it showed that actually value brands / own brands are just as good if not better than major brands. i have changed our shopping policy at home, no longer do i buy all the expenisve brands but now i buy value and even look at the price labels per item to make sure. i chop and change to different supermarkets to make sure i get the right and best prices. you thought about selling stuff on ebay or car boots? i would really get ur oh to do some work, anything he needs to take part in this recovery too - its not just you.
have good day
mrscmr

kelie · 19 March 2009 at 11:49PM

M&S was a one off, don't normally shop there I use lidl's, somerfield and tesco. God reading my post back makes me sound like i shop there all the time lol.

I'm happy to cancel sentanta and sky, but the o2 is not possible as thats a 2 month out of 18 month contract. My old mobile contract was up for renewal, which used to be £46 a month, so the £35 seemed like a good deal.

It's really annoying because I know my OH would be perfect for me if he helped a bit. I found 3 jobs on the job centre website he can apply for, 2 in homebase and one for a labourer so what I have decided to do is tell him he has 2 weeks to apply for as many jobs as he can, if he doesn't apply or do anything to get a job he is moving out. I've decided thats worth a try. and he has to phone the doctors.

I sold another 2 books on amazon marketplace today, one for £8.99 and one for £6 something. Pretty impressed with that. I've also decided to sell a few of my wii games reluctantly, and DS games I really wanted to keep the spanish coach but I can get £15 ish for it second hand which is pretty good. I am delivering my second campaign of avon brochures tomorrow.

I nearly had a no spend day, but i spent £4 in tesco on a few bits. My OH parents treated us to a curry night this evening which was really nice to get out of the house and socialise a bit.

Tomorrow I have those parcels to post, so technically it wont be a no spend day, although its all profit from selling them in the first place. I also sold a parcel on ebay to america, but they paid for full amount of shipping via paypal.

I really do appreciate everyones replies. I am just so upset that someone could even treat me like this and not care.

sparklykarma · 20 March 2009 at 12:13AM

Hey Kelie,

Just wanted to say hi and I am really sorry to hear of your loss. It is never easy coping with that, let alone when you have other difficult situations to deal with.

I'm in no position to be giving any advice to others about their relationships, but from your comments it seems there has been a quite drastic change with OH and I wondered what is going on for him...or even if he has noticed the changes you have noticed.

It seems like you are really determined to get yourself in order which is brilliant and I am sure you have all the skills you need to achieve it...and the main reason i decided to comment was this quote from you

kelie wrote: »

I nearly had a no spend day, but i spent £4 in tesco on a few bits.

....i was starting to find that 'popping' in to the supermarket was costing me loads!! I started to take out a block of cash at the start of the month, and that would have to last me...no using the debit card in supermarket of an evening!! It might be worthwhile keep an eye on those 'odd' spends as they soon add up!!

Take care of yourself x

laura2481 · 20 March 2009 at 12:23AM

hi hon, didn't want to read and run.
Sorry to here about your sad situation. You need support, not to be taken advantage of!
Good luck hon
*hugs*
laura

laura2481 · 20 March 2009 at 12:30AM

sparklykarma wrote: »

....i was starting to find that 'popping' in to the supermarket was costing me loads!! I started to take out a block of cash at the start of the month, and that would have to last me...no using the debit card in supermarket of an evening!! It might be worthwhile keep an eye on those 'odd' spends as they soon add up!!

Take care of yourself x

this works! I take out a set amount of cash every week and that's all I'm allowed to spend- it takes a bit of willpower to start with but you soon get used to budgeting. This website is good for keeping track of where your money is going http://www.spendingdiary.com/ (and it's free too!) I've been using it and it's scary to see how much money I've been wasting on stuff i didn't really need!
good luck (again)
laura
xx

kelie · 20 March 2009 at 12:41AM

Thanks

I'm off to check out that spending diary site. I was going to do it with pen and paper, but why when there are tools for free!!

Good news is now instead of getting miserable and shopping online for stuff I don't really need, I come on here instead and read loads of inspirational posts!!!

Scarlett1212 · 20 March 2009 at 1:26AM

Hi Kelie, just read through your diary and I really feel for you, 27 is very young to lose your dad, and I was sorry to hear that.

Anyway, you do sound young but in a good way. Is your OH being supportive with regards to your dad?, does he cook for you or even run you a bath? (or nip to the shops for a bar of chocolate for you?). I'm not working at the moment (although frantically looking for a job), and I constantly feel like a parasite on my dear OH, he's been pretty good - but getting a bit impatient with me lately(due to finances being really tight) but we have a DS (11) who I take care of, and I do all the housework, cooking & finances. My confidence has taken a real hit since I left my job and I was wondering if that could be his problem too. Could he perhaps enrol in a college/uni course for a career he's more interested in, at least he would get a bursary/student loan and could contribute with that & it would maybe boost his confidence to get a part time job. Anyway good luck with it all, I will pop in again xx

mogchops · 20 March 2009 at 7:58AM

Hi Kellie,

Just read through your posts, wanted to send you a big hug :grouphug:

So sorry about your dad, it sounds like you have really got a heck of a lot on your plate at the moment. You are already making changes and becoming more positive - which is fantastic!

Well done on giving the BF an ultimatum - it may just be the kick up the backside he needs. I really hope everything works out for you! Good luck! xx

I'm back (VERY SCARED) debt free diary

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free