I'm back (VERY SCARED) debt free diary

kelie

Hi everyone, Well I am back and hopefully working full time again as from today.... well apart from a few hours this morning.

Dad's funeral went really well, the service was lovely (me and sister wrote the Uleogy). We had Bette Midler's Wind Beneath my Wings playing at the end as me, my mum, sister and niece all placed a rose on his coffin then we walked out. We kept the commital curtains open as we didn't want to traumatise my 13 year old niece.

Last night, my best friend treated us to an Indian as I hadn't eaten anything all day and she didn't want me to cook (she cant cook bless her). We had that, then I was so exhausted I fell asleep on the sofa so we all went our separate ways to bed. My mum had her brother sleeping over her house so wasn't worried so much.

This morning I got up really early, i'm not really a morning person! I took my mate to the train station then came back and woke up OH. Everyone was expecting him not to go to the doctors, but he actually went... I even went in too! He told them the truth and the doctor worked out he drinks a minimum of 18 units a day dear god! I don't drink maybe once / twice a year so that was a shock to the system.

They have given him a number to phone for the local support group, they wouldn't refer him to a stay in clinic at this stage, and they want him to go back in a couple of weeks for liver tests but they did say it would probably all be reversable. I hope so. Anyway now we've come back home and I am about to catch up on work, deliver avon books later as I didn't get them done the other day and also post some more books I've sold on amazon.

Bit nervous as even though I have a 4k arranged overdraft, I am already 2k in and I have the mortgage to pay in 4 days. £709 eeeek

Swinstie73

Hi Kelie,

Sounds like you gave your dad a lovely send off, I always think that if the person would've enjoyed the day, all the better, after all it's a celebration of their life!

Good luck with your OH, at least he's taken a step to getting better and not just burying his head in the sand x

henm01

Hi Kelie

Sorry to hear your bad news. I realise when you are feeling low you feel that you need cuddles but in time you will realise your OH isn't helping at all. He needs to grow up and notice what you are going through - you must talk to him.

As an aside, I did Avon for a couple of years although it felt that I was making extra money, when I sat down and worked out how much I had added to each order; to either make the minimum orders or to make good use of the special offers - i soon realised I was spending more than I was earning. Please be careful. Also did you read the small print, as your details are registered with a credit reference agency and although I don't know for certain, I think if you pay Avon late this might be reflected in your credit history (perhaps somebody can confirm this?)
I smelt nice and had great skin but more in debt than when I started:eek:

kelie

I did spend my commission in my first Avon campaign but have told myself no spending on the next one. Thankfully not much in the book I like anyway. I'm also a trainee sales leader so Sunday going with my own sales leader to sign two people up.

Have talked with OH this evening and he said since we have so much food in the freezer we should try to live off it for the next two weeks. Apart from milk and bread of course. I just realized I owe for my council tax too and I've had the reminder. It's never ending !!!!

redstararnie76

Hi Kelie,
My OH struggles with his drinking too. It took him a long time to see the doctor, as that meant admitting that the amount he drank wasn't normal (his parents have a history of drinking a lot!), and the doctor wasn't overly supportive when he did manage it - in his case it set him back quite a long way.
He's taken a huge step, I do hope he can keep it up. With OH I find it is an ongoing battle and has been for the last few years. He feels he's having a good week when he only drinks for four nights and not seven. This isn't something he'll beat overnight.
On the other hand however, he still needs to be there and support you too...you're going through a lot and you need him to actually help!

kelie

Your OH sounds very similar to mine. I'm not a drinker and everytime we went to a social occasion with his family it always involved them drinking an awful lot. It's as if when he starts drinking on a specific day he keeps drinking until he falls asleep on the sofa. It's not good for him but also he wakes Me up when he wakes up and comes upstairs at 5am ish.

It is a struggle and I tell him he is lucky as he has support all around him. I told his mum everything but even though she is a nurse she isn't very proactive.

I hope he calls the alcohol project tomorrow. Surely that will be less scary than the doctors?

On a good note I technically had a no spend day apart from postage for 6 books I sold on amazon. First NSD in ages!

kelie

Arrrgh OH parents came down for dinner tonight 16 in somerfield because OH promised and wanted to make spaghetti bolognaise and also a bottle of wine / 4 cans for his parents to drink. Evening was lovely except OH went around collecting all the change around the house and bought 2 more bottles of wine and 4 cans of murphys. Another 15 pounds.

Part of me feels like I am working for nothing he is drinking my money and wants him to leave but part of me loves him. I've told hi
I can't afford to do this but the problem is once he has had a drink and wants more he is very intimidating.

I wish at times I could just disappear and throw away my mobile phone so he can't get hold of me.

On a good note I worked full time today for first time in months. I found it really hard to concentrate but worked my way probably half way through a 600 pound web design job. Not really going to touch my overdraft though with that. Anoher client owes me 1300 and 650 dollars which would be nice right now.

mogchops

kelie wrote: »

Arrrgh OH parents came down for dinner tonight 16 in somerfield because OH promised and wanted to make spaghetti bolognaise and also a bottle of wine / 4 cans for his parents to drink. Evening was lovely except OH went around collecting all the change around the house and bought 2 more bottles of wine and 4 cans of murphys. Another 15 pounds.

Part of me feels like I am working for nothing he is drinking my money and wants him to leave but part of me loves him. I've told hi
I can't afford to do this but the problem is once he has had a drink and wants more he is very intimidating.

I wish at times I could just disappear and throw away my mobile phone so he can't get hold of me.

On a good note I worked full time today for first time in months. I found it really hard to concentrate but worked my way probably half way through a 600 pound web design job. Not really going to touch my overdraft though with that. Anoher client owes me 1300 and 650 dollars which would be nice right now.

Oh Kelie, now that is becoming scary. Please please look after yourself.

Well done on the job, fingers crossed for you that more comes rolling in.

Seaxwyn

HI Kelie. Well done for getting the work done!!! That is brilliant, especially with so much on your mind.

The situation with your boyfriend does sound worrying. He certainly has a problem, do you think he is serious about getting help from the support group?

kelie

The situation with your boyfriend does sound worrying. He certainly has a problem, do you think he is serious about getting help from the support group?

I really hope so. He hasn't phoned them yet and he's out again at the pubs with his best mate. I asked him to stay in and he said no, swiftly followed with can i have a tenner

Its almost as if he doesnt care if i end up going bankrupt. He's had the chance to phone up about some jobs but hasn't. I asked him to sign up with avon so he gets added to my team as im a sales leader but i imagine it would be me delivering the books etc.

I have to drop him off at his mates in 20 minutes, so he will be having a really early start to his session. and i'm left stuck at home fretting about money.