Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

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  • lessonlearned
    lessonlearned Posts: 13,337 Forumite
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    Hello Mrsyardsbroom.

    So sorry to hear your sad news. It is truly awful. Yes you will be feeling raw, it's just so new, so overwhelming right now.

    Does it get better......I can only speak for myself and say I have got used to it. It's almost 4 years now and whilst I do still miss him, I think it's fair to say that I am starting to take those first few tentative steps to rebuilding a new life.

    Have I taken longer than other people??? Maybe. But the way I see it, it isn't a race. We are all different, we all have to go at our own pace. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and I don't think there are any timescales as such.

    Please accept my sincere condolences, and a virtual hug. Post here any time, there will always be sometime to "sit"with you and you will always find a shoulder to cry on.

    Take care. X
  • mrsyardbroom
    mrsyardbroom Posts: 1,946 Forumite
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    We were married for forty seven years. It will take a lot of getting used to. My dogs are a great comfort and my friends have been brilliant. xx
    Don't mess with pensioners. :cool:
  • Elona_2
    Elona_2 Posts: 361 Forumite
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    mrsy

    It does not get better as such just less raw and we focus on other things like children who need us even if they are adults.

    LL has put it very well and it is different for us all especially as happy events can make things even harder as they cannot be there for yjem
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,834 Forumite
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    mrsyardbroom wrote: »
    We were married for forty seven years. It will take a lot of getting used to. My dogs are a great comfort and my friends have been brilliant. xx

    Have you managed to get things sorted for the funeral?
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Blackcatsreturns
    Blackcatsreturns Posts: 84 Forumite
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    Why on earth would that happen?
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,028 Forumite
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    Blackcatsreturns wrote: »
    Why on earth would that happen?
    I presume you're referring to someone being PPRed rather than any of the posts immediately above. it can be for a number of reasons, looking at the Forum Rules is the first step. You may think they are all unlikely, but talking about it here won't help shed any light on it, because we just don't know.
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,393 Forumite
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    mrsyardbroom wrote: »
    I lost my husband last Saturday and it's still very raw. I miss the little things too. Just now the dogs heard a car door slam and they thought it was him coming home. They looked so disappointed when no-one came. It's awful. The worst experience of my life but I know I have to carry on no matter how much I wanted to go with him on that journey. Please tell me it gets a bit better.



    So sorry to hear that, mrs y. Cwtches.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • Blackcatsreturns
    Blackcatsreturns Posts: 84 Forumite
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    Sorry - my post about being PPR'd was out of sync with the conversation.
    Mrs Yardbroom - please accept my condolences too. In the early days after losing my husband someone told me that time is a great soother. I prefer this to "time is a great healer" . I have found over the last 4 years that I have become more soothed.
    It is so, so early for you. Try to accept all the help and support you can, both in real life and in places like this forum.
  • wort
    wort Posts: 1,674 Forumite
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    Mrs YB , sending you hugs, it's a difficult time , and I found that it's more a case of you getting used to a new kind of normal, because life is never the same afterwards.
    I hope you have family and friends to help you. Also counselling helped me, as being able to talk with someone not involved in your life means you don't worry about how it affects the person you talk to, as they have no personal attachment to them.
    I hope that makes sense.
    Obviously you can rant and moan on here ,as we all understand what you're going through.
    Take care of yourself, hugs and love. Wort.
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
  • Elona_2
    Elona_2 Posts: 361 Forumite
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    I just popped in to send a hug to all who could use one. Poor dd is now a week overdue to have their baby so I am staying close to the phone.
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