PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.

Visiting tradesman -your responsibility?

Options
13468915

Comments

  • need_an_answer
    need_an_answer Posts: 2,812 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    This man sounds like a bully.

    Trades people are used to all sorts and as such have public liability insurance to cover disputes.

    If your neighbour has a grievance its with the trades person direct and not with you

    Leave it at that its not your problem.
    I assume the work the trades person carried out for you was to satisfactory standard that's what matters to you not what happened in conjunction with the visit.
    in S 38 T 2 F 50
    out S 36 T 9 F 24 FF 4

    2017-32 2018 -33 2019 -21 2020 -5 2021 -4 2022
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
    edited 27 March 2018 at 11:06AM
    Options
    Davesnave wrote: »
    I don't think acting illogically is an offence yet, although it may be on Vulcan.

    I'd guess it would go against him if "worst came to worst" (ie court or police or whatever).

    That - and quoting that he thought he was entitled to put "his" sign on someone else's house (and all the resultant shenanigans).

    I do tend to think it helps explain nfh problems clearly to anyone else one ever needs to explain them to if one can quote examples of illogical behaviour.
  • bouicca21
    bouicca21 Posts: 6,514 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Options
    He needs one of those retractable bollards.

    Cue a series of ribald remarks about bollards and boll0cks.
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    Options
    bouicca21 wrote: »
    He needs one of those retractable bollards.

    Cue a series of ribald remarks about bollards and boll0cks.

    That would be an obvious solution from his pov.

    So obvious in fact that he must have "being a PITA deliberately" as an offbeat "hobby" of his not to do so.
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic First Post
    edited 27 March 2018 at 12:54PM
    Options
    I'd guess it would go against him if "worst came to worst" (ie court or police or whatever).
    But you're skipping a step here. To be admissible in court in a case over harrassment, one would need evidence. The OP only said:

    "it seems that during the night little road neighbour has moved all her pots and urns and piled them against her front door in a petty retaliation."

    So yes, it's background for a PCSO to keep in mind, but it is just supposition.

    Edited to add that I think a word with this guy from a police person would be a good idea now, before harrassment over this issue becomes a reality.
  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary First Post
    edited 27 March 2018 at 1:09PM
    Options
    Tygermoth wrote: »
    ....it seems that during the night little road neighbour has moved all her pots and urns and piled them against her front door in a petty retaliation.

    ..
    For this bit, from what you said earlier about your property starting at your front door, it seems that there should not be anything outside, so her pots were trespassing and he legitimately moved them because that's his right and he was annoyed.

    It sounds like he's paid for his home and the rights/covenants that cover that .... as have everybody else - and he's pee'd off with "having the mick taken" repeatedly, probably daily/weekly/monthly over parking and this and that and the other.

    He's probably just a man who is fed up with not being listened to ... fed up with people perpetually taking the mick .... and so will try to amend every breaking of the rules until others stop pushing the boundaries and taking the mick and thinking it doesn't matter.

    Over time stuff like that can make you spit because it's always one thing, or another, then a new thing, and another ... and it's never-ending from his life-view.

    He probably "doesn't mind" just a few pots in reality .... but it's the whole escalation and abuse of his access etc that's set him off. The final straw, whereupon he's now asserting the rights, restrictions and covenants that everybody signed up to.

    He's just a man tired of being not listened to, ignored and walked over.... then assaulted when he was dissed on his own land by a stranger that shouldn't have been there.
  • Tygermoth
    Tygermoth Posts: 1,413 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Options
    He cant put bollards in, as mentioned previously the lane goes to two houses. The other house has the right to access/cross the lane he owns.
    Please note I have a cognitive disability - as such my wording can be a bit off, muddled, misspelt or in some cases i can miss out some words totally...
  • happyandcontented
    Options
    For this bit, from what you said earlier about your property starting at your front door, it seems that there should not be anything outside, so her pots were trespassing and he legitimately moved them because that's his right and he was annoyed.

    It sounds like he's paid for his home and the rights/covenants that cover that .... as have everybody else - and he's pee'd off with "having the mick taken" repeatedly, probably daily/weekly/monthly over parking and this and that and the other.

    He's probably just a man who is fed up with not being listened to ... fed up with people perpetually taking the mick .... and so will try to amend every breaking of the rules until others stop pushing the boundaries and taking the mick and thinking it doesn't matter.

    Over time stuff like that can make you spit because it's always one thing, or another, then a new thing, and another ... and it's never-ending from his life-view.

    He probably "doesn't mind" just a few pots in reality .... but it's the whole escalation and abuse of his access etc that's set him off. The final straw, whereupon he's now asserting the rights, restrictions and covenants that everybody signed up to.

    He's just a man tired of being not listened to, ignored and walked over.... then assaulted when he was dissed on his own land by a stranger that shouldn't have been there.

    From what we have read he aggravated or escalated the situation. Yes, I have no doubt it is extremely annoying ( we have a similar issue here) but you have to remain civil and non-confrontational.
  • Tygermoth
    Tygermoth Posts: 1,413 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited 27 March 2018 at 1:37PM
    Options
    PasturesNew - I don't think you are wrong.

    He's lived here for decades. The street was filled with little old ladies and him as a young widow i think they doted on him and he them (his actual neighbour in the lane utterly adores him). He was the big man that fought the council for them if there was an issue, ran the neighbourhood watch and saw off any undesirables or scallywags did all the handiman stuff. I doubt he could put a foot wrong and his word was law.

    Now to his disgust the area was refurbished the old derelict buildings turned into houses and the area is now commuter families and professionals.

    So, as far as he's concerned, there is no personal pride - when 24 painted their front door a deep midnight blue he was for a lynching and was genuinely horrified when no one really was all that bothered that they had strayed from the standard gloss black of the rest of the mews.

    Just to clarify, the pots are out in the mews and all the houses either have window boxes, pots or tree planters to the front. It's actually really quite pretty in the summer and has always been like this, even back in his day.

    Hers were the only ones moved.

    There is a bit of community spirit here we all like to plant out we have a summer bbq and winter fair. During the snow residents with 4x4 were doing shopping runs for people and we will knock if we've not seen anyone for a few days - we are just more reserved and less.... um.... militant about it all.

    It's a shame as his behavior means that people in the mews avoid him so i have no doubt he feels shunned, so is rude to people, that makes them want to avoid him.... so he feels shunned.....and a self fulfilling prophecy is formed.
    Please note I have a cognitive disability - as such my wording can be a bit off, muddled, misspelt or in some cases i can miss out some words totally...
  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary First Post
    edited 27 March 2018 at 1:37PM
    Options
    From what we have read he aggravated or escalated the situation. Yes, I have no doubt it is extremely annoying ( we have a similar issue here) but you have to remain civil and non-confrontational.

    Who hit who first is a matter for the police and we don't know the truth of that bit, so we have to put that aside.

    You have a man who has his life blighted, repeatedly, by many people, over and over again, who feels he is not being listened to.

    He probably aggravated/escalated it because "nobody's listening, how can I get somebody's attention" and grabbed the phone in a pique of annoyance having been dismissed as irrelevant by the illegally parked tradesman who wasn't giving him the respect due.

    When people, all sorts of people, repeatedly, do what they shouldn't do - and nobody is changing their behaviour, there comes a time when somebody might do something rash. He grabbed the phone, to get the tradesman's attention.

    It escalated.... that's for the police to sort out.

    But, in short, you have a neighbour who is having his rights and access perpetually eroded by a bunch of neighbours who don't seem to take this matter seriously.

    I suggest you and your neighbours think this bit through and try to come to an outcome that works so that visitors don't keep parking where they shouldn't. Because ... it's annoying when visitors arbitrarily choose to do that.

    You just see this one interaction, he's probably got 20x the trouble day in day out ... with others "worse than your house visitor", but he's not taking notes of who/where people are visiting .... and he's TIRED of it.

    The escalation/thumping should be dealt with by the police, but, as adult neighbours you collectively need to understand that this is a man with rights who is being robbed of his rights ... and not being listened to. He feels that you don't think it's important - and it IS. So have a little think about it from his viewpoint.

    I don't condone the way it's ended up with him and your tradesperson, but I can see how somebody would get to the stage where things got a little out of hand after many months of an assortment and escalation of annoyances committed against the neighbour who only wants "what he bought and paid for". No more... just that. All he wants is to stop continually being robbed and dismissed as irrelevant.

    So separate the two:

    Assault - police are dealing with. End of.

    Neighbours' visitors being a nuisance to the houses at the end. That's you and your neighbours doing that to somebody else.... and bullying him because you are not taking on board the fact that he's "right about his rights" and yet you find them irrelevant/unimportant.

    How would YOU feel?
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173.1K Life & Family
  • 247.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards