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    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 12th Nov 19, 4:50 PM
    • 217Posts
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    MSE Sarah
    Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to spend my baby's vouchers on myself?
    • #1
    • 12th Nov 19, 4:50 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to spend my baby's vouchers on myself? 12th Nov 19 at 4:50 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    We were given loads of M&S vouchers for my baby's first birthday. She genuinely has everything she needs, so I'm thinking of buying myself new pyjamas. Would that be wrong?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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Page 1
    • Accountant_Kerry
    • By Accountant_Kerry 12th Nov 19, 4:53 PM
    • 442 Posts
    • 620 Thanks
    Accountant_Kerry
    • #2
    • 12th Nov 19, 4:53 PM
    • #2
    • 12th Nov 19, 4:53 PM
    I wouldn't personally, I would however 'buy' the vouchers from my child at face value and put the money in their savings account
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 12th Nov 19, 4:56 PM
    • 3,166 Posts
    • 6,358 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    • #3
    • 12th Nov 19, 4:56 PM
    • #3
    • 12th Nov 19, 4:56 PM
    As vouchers have a habit of going west (hopefully not M&S though), I'd spend them asap on whatever you want, but like the above poster said, payback your child by putting the cash away for them.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow " JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 12th Nov 19, 6:57 PM
    • 24,525 Posts
    • 65,944 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #4
    • 12th Nov 19, 6:57 PM
    • #4
    • 12th Nov 19, 6:57 PM
    So people bought vouchers for your baby and you want to buy pyjamas for yourself?
    Really?
    You have to ask strangers if that's wrong?
    Unless you're going to make good the money i.e. do as posters above mention and use the vouchers for yourself and put the exact same amount away for your child, you are stealing from your child.
    Does that sound OK to you?
    I'm gob-smacked anyone needs to ask this question.
    • rach_k
    • By rach_k 12th Nov 19, 7:08 PM
    • 1,621 Posts
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    rach_k
    • #5
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:08 PM
    • #5
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:08 PM
    I'd happily swap the vouchers for cash and spend the vouchers on myself. I probably wouldn't just buy PJs without putting something aside for the child.

    That said, as a gift giver, I'd not mind. The baby is going to get what she needs and probably most of what she wants for a good few years yet and all money is family money. If mum buys PJs now with the vouchers, she'll have extra cash for a baby thing at some point later. It'll balance out. If the gift giver wanted the baby to have something particular or special, they would have bought it. And also, mums tend to get up a lot in the night with babies! PJs help with that - bit of a stretch but I'd be okay with that.
    • pwharley
    • By pwharley 12th Nov 19, 7:31 PM
    • 22 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    pwharley
    • #6
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:31 PM
    • #6
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:31 PM
    Provided your baby says "That's OK, Mummy/Daddy", there should be no problem. Title in the vouchers would then pass to yourself.
    • Asya86
    • By Asya86 12th Nov 19, 7:33 PM
    • 45 Posts
    • 37 Thanks
    Asya86
    • #7
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:33 PM
    • #7
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:33 PM
    Are people serious here? Spend it on whatever you like! You're the mother and if you're trusted to have this child you're trusted to know what they need and to sirens as much as you see fit on your child or yourself. This is really not any body's business!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 12th Nov 19, 7:41 PM
    • 24,525 Posts
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    Pollycat
    • #8
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:41 PM
    • #8
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:41 PM
    Are people serious here? Spend it on whatever you like! You're the mother and if you're trusted to have this child you're trusted to know what they need and to sirens as much as you see fit on your child or yourself. This is really not any body's business!
    Originally posted by Asya86
    The author of this dilemma made it other people's business when they asked random strangers on t'interweb for their opinions.
    • Owain Moneysaver
    • By Owain Moneysaver 12th Nov 19, 7:44 PM
    • 10,518 Posts
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    Owain Moneysaver
    • #9
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:44 PM
    • #9
    • 12th Nov 19, 7:44 PM
    As vouchers have a habit of going west (hopefully not M&S though)
    Originally posted by Sea Shell
    I wouldn't be complacent.

    M&Sís half-year results sees 17.1% drop in pre-tax profits and 2.1% decline in sales
    A kind word lasts a minute, a skelped erse is sair for a day.
    • Bbqribs
    • By Bbqribs 12th Nov 19, 8:19 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 16 Thanks
    Bbqribs
    Stealing? It's not stealing, that's crazy
    I'm shocked at some of the reactions on here. Personally when I give a baby gift, it's me trying to support a new family and help with expenses and show support and appreciation. It doesn't come with strings when I get gifts. A family is a unit. If you need something for yourself, then the family needs something and vice versa. As long as you understand the priority list of things needed.

    Get some pyjamas and have a comfortable winter! And congratulations.
    • Middlestitch
    • By Middlestitch 12th Nov 19, 8:48 PM
    • 1,356 Posts
    • 2,501 Thanks
    Middlestitch
    Find something real to worry about. Of course it's OK.
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 12th Nov 19, 8:58 PM
    • 308 Posts
    • 952 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    I agree with the, as long as you give the baby something for it, even if not full value, I wouldn't feel too bad. As a gift giver, if I gave it for a baby but the baby genuinely had everything they needed and the parent just wanted to treat themselves, I think that would be OK. Often parents go without as their children is the priority and they deserve to be treated too but we don't always think about them when gifting a child. I think vouchers is a safe bet because at least you know it's going to be spent in a shop that will benefit either the child or parent instead of say, giving them cash and the parent spending it on luxury items or drugs/alcohol etc.... I did see an instance last year where someone was trying to sell a gifted voucher and someone posted that the voucher was for the children and the mother was selling it for drugs. In OPs case I think pyjamas are okay..
    Saving for:
    Emergency Fund: Complete
    House Deposit: On-Going
    Second-Hand Replacement Car: On-Going
    And whatever else the future brings...
    • svain
    • By svain 12th Nov 19, 9:03 PM
    • 475 Posts
    • 877 Thanks
    svain
    If you need a set of PJ's and the baby has everything it needs then go for it. There absolutely no obligation to "buy" them from the baby.
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 12th Nov 19, 9:11 PM
    • 1,568 Posts
    • 3,132 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    I wouldn't personally, I would however 'buy' the vouchers from my child at face value and put the money in their savings account
    Originally posted by Accountant_Kerry

    Yes, this.

    The gift was to the baby, not to you.
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 12th Nov 19, 9:12 PM
    • 1,568 Posts
    • 3,132 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    Are people serious here? Spend it on whatever you like! You're the mother and if you're trusted to have this child you're trusted to know what they need and to sirens as much as you see fit on your child or yourself. This is really not any body's business!
    Originally posted by Asya86

    Anyone fertile can have a child, not sure who you think is Ďtrustingí them to have one!
    • LouAnne
    • By LouAnne 12th Nov 19, 9:23 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    LouAnne
    Polycat I can't believe people like you are real life.... stealing from her baby ... really? People like you who obviously only join these sites to give out your two pennies worth of degrading opinions should be ashamed. The very fact this mum is questioning this shows shes a good enough mother. That's all we are required to be ' good enough ' theres no such thing as perfect which why moral questions are not black and white or right and wrong! Who are you to have the moral high ground on any topic.

    Quite frankly social media is vile enough without you degrading people. Unless your feedback is constructive or helpful then take yourself off. I only joined this to reply to this post as I hope that mum does not take on your crap words and go feel guilty about something she shouldn't.

    From one mum to another you are doing the best you can and the fact the baby has all it needs speaks volumes. You will get ppl such as the above everywhere you go unfortunately but try drown out their attention seeking self validating pleas and you do you.
    Treat yourself!!!!
    • prunenuts
    • By prunenuts 12th Nov 19, 9:35 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    prunenuts
    Iím actually shocked that some commenters think you need to pay the baby back! Even if you spend it on baby clothes the baby is not going to know the difference. If I had been the person giving the voucher I would want you to use it in whatever way gives you the most enjoyment or usefulness even if itís just used for the weekly shop.
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 12th Nov 19, 10:33 PM
    • 1,568 Posts
    • 3,132 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    I’m actually shocked that some commenters think you need to pay the baby back! Even if you spend it on baby clothes the baby is not going to know the difference. If I had been the person giving the voucher I would want you to use it in whatever way gives you the most enjoyment or usefulness even if it’s just used for the weekly shop.
    Originally posted by prunenuts

    But it was a birthday present to somebody else, if you give a gift to a child would you genuinely be perfectly fine with the parent taking it from them and using it themselves?
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 12th Nov 19, 11:03 PM
    • 6,136 Posts
    • 7,604 Thanks
    theoretica
    If the baby doesn't need anything now I agree it is more sensible to spend the vouchers than leave them sitting to expire/be forgotten or buy things the baby doesn't need. I am confident the parents will buy clothes for the child at some time during its life, when it needs them, and spend more than the value of the voucher!


    M&S vouchers seem to me the sort of present intended to be useful.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
    • unholyangel
    • By unholyangel 12th Nov 19, 11:27 PM
    • 14,349 Posts
    • 11,481 Thanks
    unholyangel
    But it was a birthday present to somebody else, if you give a gift to a child would you genuinely be perfectly fine with the parent taking it from them and using it themselves?
    Originally posted by onwards&upwards
    Personally I would be perfectly fine with it. After all, most likely I'm only gifting to baby because of my relationship with mum and/or dad - and friends I'd gift for are the type of people who would ensure their babies needs are met first.

    Might feel different if it was something luxurious & extravagant, but a pair of PJs? Wouldn't even cross my mind.
    Money doesn't solve poverty.....it creates it.
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