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  • FIRST POST
    • bunnymtg
    • By bunnymtg 2nd May 19, 10:18 AM
    • 53Posts
    • 25Thanks
    bunnymtg
    Drowning in huge monthly payments advise please
    • #1
    • 2nd May 19, 10:18 AM
    Drowning in huge monthly payments advise please 2nd May 19 at 10:18 AM
    Hello there

    I am hoping for some sound advice and no bashing pretty please.

    My 4 year old daughter and I left my abusive husband last year. I had relatively high debt at the time because of financial abuse too. My daughter was poorly and to get the treatment she needed we had to go privately. He wouldn't pay this, so I had to. Lots of things like this.

    I didn't have a pot to p*ss in savings wise but I knew I needed to flee. I put EVERYTHING on credit card. Second hand car, rental deposit, furniture. Nothing lavish. Just things we needed.
    Now it is crippling me as 2 of the cards are not 0%.


    Amex: 238 pm (5724 balance)
    Barclaycard: 171 pm (7584 balance)
    MBNA: 103 pm (4,000 balance)
    Omni finance: 26pm (507 balance)
    Tesco card: 60 pm (6,013 balance)
    Virgin card: 34.52 (3,486 balance)

    So this racks up my debt to around 27,000.

    With my rent and bills, my outgoings are 1725.

    Incoming monthly is:
    Universal credit: 1000
    Child benefit: 82
    Part time work : 520
    Child maintenance :460

    Total of 2,062

    Leaving me with a disposable of 337. However, this disposable has to include fuel, shopping, toiletries etc. I am constantly in my overdraft.

    I would like to add the following: I do not try and live a lifestyle I cannot afford (we live day to day!) I do not go out. I look after my daughter, work, sleep, eat repeat.

    I am coming to the end of my divorce and in 8 weeks I am able to apply for my decree absolute. I will be getting a settlement which means I can clear my debt completely but I wont be seeing that till around September time at the earliest due to court back logs.
    So I need something instant that can alleviate the pressure.

    I cannot sleep at night and I am so stressed wondering if we will keep a roof over our heads!!

    I would also like to add that I have recently moved (nearer to my daughters chosen school) and my electoral details have still not updated on CRA so I cannot find a loan solution or balance transfer option (thats even if I can get anything due to amount of debt).

    I have never missed a payment once, I have no arrears, defaults or CCJs but I just cannot see how much longer I can keep this up.

    I have just had a bill from SSE which I am querying from my last house (final bill) of 500 for just electric!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I ideally need a solution that wont effect my credit file/score as I really want to buy a property next year with my divorce settlement and when I go back to work full time after September.

    I know my situation is not as bad as some because I know it will be paid off by the end of the year but living day to day is making me so ill with stress.

    Any advice great fully received.

    BM xx
Page 1
    • Pip Boy 111
    • By Pip Boy 111 2nd May 19, 10:46 AM
    • 183 Posts
    • 562 Thanks
    Pip Boy 111
    • #2
    • 2nd May 19, 10:46 AM
    • #2
    • 2nd May 19, 10:46 AM
    Hi didn't want to read and run.

    First things first. Well done! You've broken free from an abusive relationship and taken the first step to a better life for you and your daughter

    Second. Can you out together a SOA? This will put everything in detail and the good people on here will comb through it to find savings to be made and offer advice.

    It's easy to say but please don't get yourself down and worried to the point of making yourself ill. in my short time on here, I've seen that most situations have a solution and the people here are very knowledgeable and helpful.

    You have light at the end of the tunnel, focus on that and get an SOA filled out and posted to see what can be done in the meantime, till all that is sorted.

    Rooting for you, and wishing you and your daughter all the happiness you deserve.
    Debts 14/6/2019 (LBM 5/3/2019)
    Overdraft: 900/0 Barclaycard: 3755.55/2859.42 Loan: 21620.29/17997.19
    Total 26275.84 20856.61 (REDUCED BY 20.62%)
    • bunnymtg
    • By bunnymtg 2nd May 19, 11:09 AM
    • 53 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    bunnymtg
    • #3
    • 2nd May 19, 11:09 AM
    • #3
    • 2nd May 19, 11:09 AM
    Hi didn't want to read and run.

    First things first. Well done! You've broken free from an abusive relationship and taken the first step to a better life for you and your daughter

    Second. Can you out together a SOA? This will put everything in detail and the good people on here will comb through it to find savings to be made and offer advice.

    It's easy to say but please don't get yourself down and worried to the point of making yourself ill. in my short time on here, I've seen that most situations have a solution and the people here are very knowledgeable and helpful.

    You have light at the end of the tunnel, focus on that and get an SOA filled out and posted to see what can be done in the meantime, till all that is sorted.

    Rooting for you, and wishing you and your daughter all the happiness you deserve.
    Originally posted by Pip Boy 111

    Thank you Pip Boy, really helpful lovely post.

    I will get the SOA sorted ASAP!
    • -taff
    • By -taff 2nd May 19, 11:27 AM
    • 10,520 Posts
    • 14,779 Thanks
    -taff
    • #4
    • 2nd May 19, 11:27 AM
    • #4
    • 2nd May 19, 11:27 AM
    I would also like to add that I have recently moved (nearer to my daughters chosen school) and my electoral details have still not updated on CRA so I cannot find a loan solution or balance transfer option (thats even if I can get anything due to amount of debt)

    I ideally need a solution that wont effect my credit file/score as I really want to buy a property next year with my divorce settlement and when I go back to work full time after September.
    Originally posted by bunnymtg

    From your postI don't think there is a solution that won't affect your credit file. You could try going to see your bank to explain your circumstances and see if they would help.
    Otherwise, it's tighten your belt some more and post your SOA for scrutiny.

    Are you claiming all benefits you can including reduced council tax etc?
    • Humdinger1
    • By Humdinger1 2nd May 19, 11:30 AM
    • 112 Posts
    • 391 Thanks
    Humdinger1
    • #5
    • 2nd May 19, 11:30 AM
    • #5
    • 2nd May 19, 11:30 AM
    Bunny

    Please don't leave the forum. You're quite right to come and get advice here and most people will be full of admiration for you. Ignore angry people. Pip is right, put up an SOA and you'll get lots of relevant suggestions from the many kind people on the board. Take care Humdinger
    • NeverendingDMP
    • By NeverendingDMP 2nd May 19, 12:50 PM
    • 450 Posts
    • 1,568 Thanks
    NeverendingDMP
    • #6
    • 2nd May 19, 12:50 PM
    • #6
    • 2nd May 19, 12:50 PM
    Id say stay on the forum get a list of your debts and how long the 0% is left on for abd whst the apr is. Do a soa and we will offer assistance on how you can make it to september when hopefully you may be in a position to repay some.
    Then if it looks really tight post a diary and we will keep your morale up over the next few months as best we can x
    35,213 - Jan 2018, 18779 remaining.
    Mortgage 77224- 72512 remaining.
    Make 2019- 2031/2019 EF =146
    • Pip Boy 111
    • By Pip Boy 111 2nd May 19, 3:30 PM
    • 183 Posts
    • 562 Thanks
    Pip Boy 111
    • #7
    • 2nd May 19, 3:30 PM
    • #7
    • 2nd May 19, 3:30 PM
    Ok, well I posted a response to the post regarding tax payers paying for your situation, but it seems to have been deleted

    Anyway, the jist of it was, ignore the comments surrounding benefits and tax payers, blah blah.
    You're here asking for help with debt that was built up in awful circumstances, and help we shall.
    Get the SOA posted when you can and try not to worry in the meantime. We're (mostly) friendly here
    Debts 14/6/2019 (LBM 5/3/2019)
    Overdraft: 900/0 Barclaycard: 3755.55/2859.42 Loan: 21620.29/17997.19
    Total 26275.84 20856.61 (REDUCED BY 20.62%)
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 2nd May 19, 4:13 PM
    • 18,463 Posts
    • 17,362 Thanks
    sourcrates
    • #8
    • 2nd May 19, 4:13 PM
    • #8
    • 2nd May 19, 4:13 PM
    Ladies and gents,

    Please keep your posts helpful and non judgemental, if you would all be so kind, anything abusive will just be deleted anyway, so if you cant post anything helpful, dont post at all.........


    Thank you,
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File And Ratings, and
    Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".

    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views expressed are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    Helping you deal with problem debt.

    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, CitizensAdviceBureaux.
    • Suseka97
    • By Suseka97 3rd May 19, 4:28 AM
    • 826 Posts
    • 922 Thanks
    Suseka97
    • #9
    • 3rd May 19, 4:28 AM
    • #9
    • 3rd May 19, 4:28 AM
    Aside from putting up your SOA and the advice you may get in terms of ways to tighten your belt, have you considered contacting any of your creditors to explain your financial situation and see if they will accept lower monthly payments, or offer any sort of repayment break?

    I imagine you have some sort of paperwork that shows you'll be getting a divorce settlement in September, so could prove to them that you'll be in a position to clear your debts shortly.

    Just a thought.
    • Shashy
    • By Shashy 3rd May 19, 12:04 PM
    • 136 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    Shashy
    What is it with people and resorting to personal insults on this forum. Can't you contribute to the discussion without pointing and sputtering insults. I'll give you the weekend to remove that post otherwise I'll have it reported.
    Originally posted by andydownes123
    There's a certain irony in your tantrum.
    • Potbellypig
    • By Potbellypig 3rd May 19, 1:07 PM
    • 538 Posts
    • 385 Thanks
    Potbellypig
    OP - If you can clear all your debts in September, there's nothing to worry about really. If you can't get any 0% deals then just spend what you pay on the credit cards for the time being. Of course you'll pay interest, but you don't really have too many options. Contacting and asking for payment breaks as someone else suggested could be a good move though.

    You'll be debt free in 4 months. Just ride it out until then and start your spending diary now.
  • archived user
    There's a certain irony in your tantrum.
    Originally posted by Shashy

    I think you need to learn the difference about expressing an opinion and being abusive. Even after your previous abuse was deleted by moderators, you can't help calling my post a 'tantrum'. Learn to debate without losing your head Shashy.
    Last edited by andydownes123; 03-05-2019 at 3:31 PM.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 3rd May 19, 11:08 PM
    • 9,223 Posts
    • 21,454 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Without seeing a full soa it is difficult to advise but on the figures quoted I very much doubt there is an instant fix to your situation. September is almost 6 months away and with respect putting more debt on credit cards or borrowing more is the last thing you should do. I think you will need to look at some sort of debt management plan and focus on getting into full time work. Leave thinking about taking on a mortgage for now and just focus on getting the creditors you have now to accept lower payments and stop charging interest to stop the debt figure going higher. Ring stepchange.
    Early retired in December 2017

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • Dobbibill
    • By Dobbibill 4th May 19, 10:12 AM
    • 3,801 Posts
    • 5,189 Thanks
    Dobbibill
    Hi BM,

    Well done on leaving an abusive relationship. It must have taken great courage.
    Debt isn't always accumulated through a lavish lifestyle and your situation is another example of that.

    If you can post a SOA, we can cast some fresh eyes over it.
    Make sure you do it 'as is' rather than a 'wish list' so the suggestions are tailored to your situation at the moment.

    Grab a cuppa, get it posted and lets have a look
    I'm a Board Guide on the Energy, Student Money Saving, UK Armed Forces and
    Local Money Saving - Wales boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there.
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.


    It's not about being the best -
    It's about being better than you were yesterday.
    • poppasmurf_bewdley
    • By poppasmurf_bewdley 4th May 19, 10:34 AM
    • 5,529 Posts
    • 5,646 Thanks
    poppasmurf_bewdley
    Most posters on here will read your post and know that the majority of your debts have arisen because of a combination of many factors outside your control.

    There are ways and means of reducing or getting rid of your debts, but as others have said, put up your SOA and let us know what assets you have, eg car worth more than 1.5k, home owner, etc.

    When you have done this, then you will get plenty of good advice and assistance.
    "There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe a 'Princess Coronation' locomotive in full cry. We shall never see their like again". O S Nock
    • Sanctioned Parts List
    • By Sanctioned Parts List 4th May 19, 11:22 AM
    • 443 Posts
    • 1,130 Thanks
    Sanctioned Parts List
    As you've mentioned that some of the debts have arisen as a result of financial abuse, it's relevant to note that there is a (voluntary) financial abuse code of practice (link) and that two of your creditors, Barclays and Virgin Money are among the participating firms implementing it.

    Briefly reading the policy, there is a requirement for the lenders to assist you in regaining control of your finances. Both the Women's Aid charity, and Citizens Advice also have a certain amount of information on the subject. At the very least, their support may help in getting interest/fees/charges suspended until your settlement comes through.

    • bunnymtg
    • By bunnymtg 15th May 19, 8:35 PM
    • 53 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    bunnymtg
    I hope this works!! SOA:

    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 1
    Number of children in household......... 1
    Number of cars owned.................... 1

    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 520
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 1136
    Other income............................ 460
    Total monthly income.................... 2116


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
    Rent.................................... 850
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 100
    Electricity............................. 50
    Gas..................................... 0
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 20
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 60
    TV Licence.............................. 0
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 5
    Groceries etc. ......................... 0
    Clothing................................ 0
    Petrol/diesel........................... 80
    Road tax................................ 16
    Car Insurance........................... 0
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 12
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 0
    Entertainment........................... 0
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0
    Total monthly expenses.................. 1193



    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 0
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 1000
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 1000


    No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Tesco..........................5894.79...59....... .0
    Virgin.........................3417.44...34.52.... .0
    Amex...........................6144.09...228...... .0
    MBNA...........................7844.92...131.2.... .0
    Barclaycard....................7734......197.7.... .0
    Halifax........................1150......0........ .0
    Total unsecured debts..........32185.24..650.42....-



    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 2,116
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,193
    Available for debt repayments........... 923
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 650.42
    Amount left after debt repayments....... 272.58


    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -32,185.24
    Net Assets.............................. -31,185.24


    Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.
    Last edited by bunnymtg; 15-05-2019 at 8:53 PM.
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 15th May 19, 8:56 PM
    • 214 Posts
    • 742 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    Hi Bunny,

    I don't have advice as I'm new myself and trying to figure everything out too - I just wanted to commend you on leaving an abusive relationship. I did it too but luckily didn't have children or a house to tie us together (one of the main motivators for me to leave before that happened!). I got into a lot of debt as a result and don't think people know just how hard it is to keep yourself going every day after it! To continue going and try to help yourself, and your daughter, shows your strength. Yes we've both been left in debt and with financial issues outside of our control - but that's the price of our freedom. It'll only get better from here.

    Hope you get the advice you're looking for.
    • Dobbibill
    • By Dobbibill 15th May 19, 9:13 PM
    • 3,801 Posts
    • 5,189 Thanks
    Dobbibill
    I hope this works!! SOA:

    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 1
    Number of children in household......... 1
    Number of cars owned.................... 1

    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 520
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 1136
    Other income............................ 460
    Total monthly income.................... 2116


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
    Rent.................................... 850
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 100 Are you claiming single persons discount? Also is this over the standard 10 months or have you requested to spread it over 12? 12 months makes it easier to budget.
    Electricity............................. 50
    Gas..................................... 0
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 20
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 60 This is expensive - when you are out of contract go SIMO
    TV Licence.............................. 0 You don't watch or record live TV/BBC iplayer?
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 5
    Groceries etc. ......................... 0 Nothing?
    Clothing................................ 0 Never? Not even underwear?
    Petrol/diesel........................... 80
    Road tax................................ 16
    Car Insurance........................... 0 No insurance?
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0 You never need wipers, oil, a bulb, tyres or an MOT?
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 12
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0 You need this.
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0 None at all?
    Haircuts................................ 0 You never have your haircut?
    Entertainment........................... 0 You don't ever go for a coffee or take the little one for an ice-cream?
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0 You need something in here - white goods are the most common things to breakdown so you need something to fall back on instead of credit.
    Total monthly expenses.................. 1193



    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 0
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 1000
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 1000


    No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Tesco..........................5894.79...59....... .0
    Virgin.........................3417.44...34.52.... .0
    Amex...........................6144.09...228...... .0
    MBNA...........................7844.92...131.2.... .0
    Barclaycard....................7734......197.7.... .0
    Halifax........................1150......0........ .0
    Total unsecured debts..........32185.24..650.42....-
    Are every single one of your debts on 0%?


    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 2,116
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,193
    Available for debt repayments........... 923
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 650.42
    Amount left after debt repayments....... 272.58
    What happens to this?

    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -32,185.24
    Net Assets.............................. -31,185.24


    Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.
    Originally posted by bunnymtg

    A couple of thoughts from me in red above.

    You may benefit from keeping a spending diary to see exactly where every penny goes.
    Last edited by Dobbibill; 15-05-2019 at 9:20 PM.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Energy, Student Money Saving, UK Armed Forces and
    Local Money Saving - Wales boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there.
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.


    It's not about being the best -
    It's about being better than you were yesterday.
    • Karonher
    • By Karonher 15th May 19, 9:14 PM
    • 699 Posts
    • 2,377 Thanks
    Karonher
    Unless I have missed something about someone else paying for things there are a lot of gaps in the SOA.

    There is nothing for food, car insurance - this would be disastrous if you were at fault for an accident, presents, entertainment, car maintenance and haircuts.
    Getting ready for Christmas 2019

    Aiming to make 5,000 online in 2019.
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