Mummy to a one-year-old overnight!

Jillinoz · 5 December 2008 at 3:11PM

Well, not quite overnight!

But after two years of navigating my way through the UK adoption system I should, fingers crossed, become a first-time Mummy to a one-year-old little girl early in 2009. My daughter, whom I have not yet met, celebrates her first birthday this month and is of average weight and height.

Without wishing to jinx the process, which always the potential to disappoiint, I would like to start some tentative planning for the arrival of my bundle of joy.

As a complete novice, I would like to ask Mums & Dads of tots what equipment you think is most necessary for a baby of this age, what not to buy and any tips on how best to save money while kitting out my new family.

Just to give some background: I am adopting as a single parent and am self-employed so will not qualify for any 'maternity' allowances from an employer. My local authority does not give any adoption grants and there are no 'payments' for becoming an adoptive parent, unlike foster carers.

I have budgeted for taking three years out of work and existing on savings (plus handouts from the proud grandparents-to-be

) and while I consider myself extremely fortunate to be able to do this, I would like to stretch my money as far as I can.

Thanks in anticipation for all your good advice and tips. :T

Jillinoz

whitewing · 5 December 2008 at 3:17PM

Congratulations,

Can you get maternity allowance if you're self-employed? (Got to rush or would write more in general)

cobbingstones · 5 December 2008 at 3:23PM

Oh Jill many congratulations!!!!

One year olds love books, music, maybe something like a toddle truck to aid with walking etc. You will of course need a stair gate and I'm sure the social worker involved will have lists of things needed for safety etc. Also these things could be applied for on freecycle or NCT sales or ebay.

Someone with more time will be on soon.

Again best wishes

MM

angelfairy · 5 December 2008 at 3:25PM

Congratulations on your impending arrival of a beautiful one year old.

I can't offer any help i am afraid as i am pregnant with my first.

Perhaps, you could have a look and see what the ladies on the 'parents' thread suggest????

wannabe_sybil · 5 December 2008 at 3:45PM

1. Remember stairgates and push everything to the back of the shelf, even the ones you do not think they will be able to reach.
2. Ask what sort of bed/cot/cotbed the little one is used to and see if you cannot duplicate that. I would unhesitatingly recommend a cot or cotbed. Also ask what sort of bedding they are used to.
3. IKEA soft toys wash and wash and wash. My little bear's panda was run over and after a dip in the washing machine was once again fine. It was the best £5.99 I have ever spent.
4. You do not need an expensive buggy or pushchair but you do need one that is reputable.
5. Ebay is your friend. Look out on the baby clothing for mixed bundles - some of the stuff I have had has been immaculate.
6. Everything will go in the mouth - everything. So, can stuff be washed/clean and is it safe for a little one to chew.
7. Always check safety labels. It may look absolutely obviously meant for a baby, but a teddy given when little bear arrived was marked 36 months and over and the eyes were loose.

I am a complete wreck, but my little bear is confident, happy, generally healthy (currently green nosed) and very calm and laid back. I put this down to immutable routines. His bedtime routine is always the same. The routine of getting up, washed, fed, dressed, etc is set in iron. The day varies, but a routine really helps. I believe this is one of the things that means that he is never bothered by anything new. Now is a good time to work out what routine would suit you, and see if you can cuddle the little one into it.

Also, get cuddles while you can, it is wonderful. Congratulations.

cobbingstones · 5 December 2008 at 3:46PM

also make sure you know as much as possible about the babies parents. Make a book of memories for her, so she knows as much as possible when she gets older.

MM

MrsTinks · 5 December 2008 at 3:49PM

You might want to have a look on the Bounty Forums they have an adoption section too

http://my.bounty.com/forums/Subject/260/1/1/Adoption.htm

amandada · 5 December 2008 at 4:01PM

I'm posting on the run but just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
What an exciting time for you-I hope it all goes smoothly for you both x

Uniscots97 · 5 December 2008 at 4:09PM

Congratulations, remember Freecycle (www.freecycle.org), lots of baby stuff on there and if you'd rather buy it new then when you are finished with it please think about putting it on freecycle so someone else can get the use of it.

nottslass_2 · 5 December 2008 at 4:09PM

Firstly,congratulations !!! I bet you're so excited.

Obviously you'll need a pushchair on that will fit into the boot of your car,and a car seat- you can get them that are suitable for ages 9m to 4 years.

If your daughter is still sleeping in a cot at her foster families, perhaps you could get a cot-bed,which should be suitable until she's about 6 or 7.

Hopefully,her foster mum will be able to help you when it comes to advising which are her favourite toys etc.

Remember that you'll be able to claim child benefit and child Tax credits - I would also book an appointment with welfare rights or the CAB as you would be entitled to the same benefits as any single parent (dependant on savings)
IF your daughter has special needs,enquire about any additional allowances that may be payable.

Most importantly,enjoy being a new mummy,and the joy & happiness that your DD will bring into your life .

Leopardlady · 5 December 2008 at 4:18PM

Congrats, I don't have any advice as TTC at the moment, except to second the advice to look on the preg thread and ask the mums and mums to be on there.
I bet you are soooooo excited, enjoy all the years of fun and love to come

Mummy to a one-year-old overnight!

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