Mummy to a one-year-old overnight!

Jillinoz

Wow! I have been moved to tears by your overwhelming kindness, good wishes, support and good advice. I really do appreciate the help of everyone who's taken the time out to post in response to my initial inquiry - I'm also hoping for more useful tips and suggestions on how to make my money go further to enable me to spend as much times as possible with my daughter-to-be.

I also want to clarify that I'm not at all offended by any of the advice about being open with my child about her birth family, as I fully intend to do this, believing it to be in her best interests. My child was not given up for adoption by her birth parents (in fact, only a miniscule proportion of adoptions these days are so-called 'relinquished' children) but was in fact removed by social services at birth because of fears for her safety. That said, I have total empathy for her birth parents who appear to be the product of very bad parenting themselves.

It's very comforting to be reassured that my child won't 'miss out' if I don't buy a £600 'celebrity' pram or a wardrobe of Boden childrenswear. I have many years of love and cuddles stored up for her, so it's a good job they're free!

Thanks so much again for all your support. I am sure I will be posting soon for more help.

Jillinoz

Kavanne

I used to volunteer in oxfam and we got SO many brand new baby clothes in, sometimes still with tags on!!! We sold them flat 50p each so I would give charity shops a go. £1 if they were REALLY nice lol

wannabe_sybil

I actually believe when it comes to toys that less is more. They do not need lots and lots and lots, and clean is important, and safe but not new.

I think you will be surprised how many people will want to treat your little one and how generous people will be in passing on stuff that their own little ones' things.

btw if you are using disposable nappies (I started on cloth nappies but couldn't stop them leaking:o) I have found both Aldi's and Sainsburys own very satisfactory and Sainsburys own (but not value) have little pictures of animals on the front which vary and I point them out to little bear.

If you are getting new toys then Early Learning Centre have some excellent toys and are also on quidco.

Also netmums and local playgroups or mums and tots will point you in the direction of lots of deals, and they will be brilliant support. My little bear loves feeding ducks and shrieks in delight at it, for the cost of some stale bread.

Also, think very carefully about how you are going to work the daily routine, washing, dressing, etc. Get everything set up so everything has its place (from least organised mum in the world!) and then see what you can do without. You do not need a fancy bowl to clean baby when you can get an extremely inexpensive mixing bowl from Tescos that will do the same thing. You do not need baby wipes all the time for face and hands as a damp flannel (changed often) works wonders. My pushchair was new but suited my personal needs and with a 20% off voucher was less than £20 from ebay including delivery so think about function and not brand. This pushchair has all the safety labels - v important.

Main advice which I learned quite early on. Do not look to see if you can get it cheaper, instead look to see if you need it at all.

whitewing

To echo comments about toys... it's worth having two or three (or however many) boxes of toys and rotating them. That way they rediscover toys so it's more exciting than having all out all the time. This works very well for older children.

shirlgirl2004

Congratulations. I echo pretty much what others have said you have been given good advice.

To aid the bonding process you might consider co-sleeping and/or using a sling rather than a pushchair. I'm sure in your preparation for adoption you will have been told about attachment disorder and having your LO close will help to make those neurological connections. I don't co-sleep but never use a pushchair for my 2 stone toddler. If you'd like further information on suitable slings try www.slingmeet.co.uk

Good luck :beer:

nadnad

thats so lovely for you! congratulations.

i would say not to buy too much other than essentials and a few basics until you meet her and get to know her. you said you're taking time out of work for quite a while and this will be the lovliest thing you can do for her, spend your time taking her to parks, swimming etc and giving her love and cuddles and i'd say she'll be the happiest little girl about.

Running_Horse

First of all congratulations. A friend recently adopted a baby after years of IVF, 2 stillbirths, and the whole gruelling adoption procedure. I have rarely been so happy for someone.

Off the top of my head, make sure you join everything involving other mums, so baby has lots of contact with other children, and you get support. The most important thing is time. Never push baby away to be on the computer, and get down on the floor to play with her at her level. Oh, and put all your books out of reach, if you don't want them chewed! Good luck.

seven-day-weekend

Congratulations, and enjoy your daughter.

(I was adopted as a a baby in 1950 and had wonderful adoptive parents).

halight

Hi i would just like to say well done and good luck
you sound like you will make a great mom and a very loveing mom

All the very best to you both and i hope that you both bring each other many happy years of fun and love.

good luck and all the very best

laurenjs88

Ooo Congratulations, My daughter will be 1 on the 8th Dec, and she is such a little character!

I will say, i may well be shot down in flames for it, but remember you are just as important to stay well looked after in your relationship with your baby girl too! There will be days that you could quite happily hand her back or just place her out of the window, obviously you would never do it but the thought crosses your mind, DONT feel bad or question your abilities as her mum.

I have moments when my LO wont stop screaming at me or wont stop kicking or biting that i wonder what on earth i was thinking having her as a single mum. But 80% of the time she is a joy & so loving.


Turn some saucepans upside down and let her go mad with a wooden spoon, gethold of some huge cardboard boxes and fill them with ballons, the middle of the toilet rolls, smaller boxes and go crazy.

When she is in the bath give her a cup and a spoon, my daughter loves this! she teaches herself how to drink and how to use a spoon and chucking a beaker of soapy water over mummy when she's not looking is the funniest thing in the world, bless them!

I must be an awful mum because i have no routine with my 1yr old,she goes to bed about 7.30 give or take and gets up whenever she wants in the morning, some nights she has a bath sometimes she is so mucky by dinner time she has it then instead.

I wouldnt personally worry loads about a routine yet she's only a baby, just concetrate on bonding with your little one and meeting some mums,try contacting your local gingerbread for groups of single parents...