Direct cremation - does anyone have experience of this please?

kerri_gt · 20 September 2014 at 7:01PM

I attended a service a few years ago where a willoweave coffin was chosen, it was adorned in wild flowers and was really beautiful (insofar as a coffin can be).

I would tell your relatives what is happening and when but personally I wouldn't try and stop any coming if they want to. Unless your mum had a reason that she wouldn't want them there I would respect her wishes of not making a fuss, but also respect people choose to come because they want to, not out of duty x

kpwll · 20 September 2014 at 8:33PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

My beloved stepmother's funeral was Thursday, I always teased her that it would be a cardboard box. We didn't use one, but the price list (that sounds terrible) shows that it was more expensive than the first 3 coffins listed in increasing price.
There are places on the internet where you can buy different coffins of differing materials. I hope everything goes well and peacefully for you.

nightsong · 20 September 2014 at 9:47PM

Errata wrote: »

Moving a body for burial across and through counties and their borders is a bureaucratic nightmare and also expensive.

Really? Why? It's all England surely. No criticism, I would really like to know.

Otherwise, thanks again everyone. More good food for thought. I do like the idea of some music she loved playing, and us just being there with her for a while and then leaving when it seems appropriate.

Errata · 20 September 2014 at 10:31PM

TBH I'm not sure if it's an urban myth or something that used to happen and no longer does. It's certainly believed by a lot of people.
That aside, the mileage cost will be a significant amount. of cash.

getmore4less · 20 September 2014 at 10:39PM

You can just use a regular estate or van to move a body its only if you employ someone it starts to cost loads.

you can get away with a smaller vehicle but lets not go into how that is done.

getmore4less · 20 September 2014 at 10:45PM

No restrictions on moving though England and Wales you need permission to take it to Scotland.

g6jns_2 · 20 September 2014 at 11:15PM

nightsong wrote: »

So here's the position. My mother died on Thursday and I am now considering how we manage the funeral, or otherwise.

I have searched on here for "direct cremation" and didn't find anything very up-to-date. I will look elsewhere on t'internet, but I trust the people on MSE more than elsewhere!

She talked about what she wanted, and it was to be as simple and inexpensive as possible. A "cardboard box", only me and DH were to attend (I am her only child), no flowers except a single red rose, donations to the NSPCC if anyone wanted to contribute.

I know my aunt will be upset and my cousin has already told me she will be coming to the funeral, so evidently my mother didn't make these wishes known to them. Still, she was very clear about what she wanted so I intend to honour her wishes. Any thoughts about how to tell relatives would be appreciated!

In particular though, she didn't know about direct cremation - and neither did I till earlier today - but it seems to me that it would make a lot of sense. There seems no point in paying for a funeral and the two of us sitting in a chapel being told about her life by someone who's never met her. She wasn't religious and didn't enjoy pomp or being the centre of attention.

I personally don't feel any need for the supposed "closure" that a traditional service would give. I've been to too many funerals that seem to have nothing much to do with the deceased and everything to do with making funeral directors rich. I already have some ideas about where to scatter her ashes and will make sure that this is a suitable way to honour her life.

So my question is, has anyone arranged direct cremation or anything similar? Or knows of another way to do this that doesn't involve a conventional funeral of any kind? By the way I've ruled out "donating to science" as I don't think she'd have liked that.

Sorry for your loss. I have been researching this so that money is not wasted on my own funeral. There are a number of firms offering direct cremation with no frills for around £1,500 all in. For this you don't get a service and the whole thing is done at the convenience of the undertaker and the crematorium. In theory you can do it even cheaper by delivering the corpse directly to the crematorium with the appropriate paperwork. I certainly agree that funerals just enrich undertakers and florists.

troubleinparadise · 21 September 2014 at 1:20AM

Dear Nightsong,

I'm sorry for your loss of your mum - I followed your previous thread, and was saddened to read that things went downhill so suddenly.

My mum was transferred between adjoining counties by one funeral director's to another without any problems, although there might have been a small additional charge for carriage (which was very little in terms of the much larger final bill).

There was no mention of any difficulty re crossing county borders.

I hope that you are able to sort out what you want without too much difficulty - you must be exhausted after all that has gone on recently.

Shelldean · 21 September 2014 at 10:31AM

The cost of moving a body can be expensive per mile. The FD moved a relative a short distance and charged £180.

Google map Sutton (Surrey) station to Rose hill. £180 for that distance

Errata · 21 September 2014 at 11:05AM

I'm truly sorry if I've misled anyone about the cross border transport, I was mistaken and apologise.
Shelldean makes a good point, and it's worth remembering that there will be a mileage charge for the return journey also - so that £180 is the one way charge.

Direct cremation - does anyone have experience of this please?

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